“You think you can beat on her and get away with it? What kind of monster are you?” I kick him hard with my heavy boot, thinking about the bruise I saw last night on Lily’s side. “She is the gentlest, kindest, and most special person I’ve ever met in my life. And you hit her because she isn’t your wife.” I lean down and punch him in the stomach, remembering the red mark she had there last week. “Because you’re a drunk and you think it’s her fault. You don’t ever touch her again. Do you hear what I’m saying?” I reach down, grabbing his dirty shirt in both my fists, and pull him to his feet. “Do you understand me?”
“Yeah,” he coughs, but it’s not good enough.
I pull back my fist and punch him in the mouth, seeing his lip split open as he cries out.
“Do you understand!” I shout, not making it a question this time.
He nods and says yes over and over before he starts to cry. I let him go, and he falls into a heap on the floor. I stand there for a second, looking around the place, and then I see the stairs. I make my way up them and to Lily’s room. I grab a suitcase from the closet and start filling it up. It hits me that she doesn’t have much of anything and all her belongings can fit into one bag. I make sure to get her art supplies and pictures before I look around to double-check I’ve gotten everything. Once her things are cleared out, the room is bare. It doesn't look like it ever belonged to her, and maybe it didn’t. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind, but the one thing that keeps beating down on my back is to get her to safety. To keep her away from this monster.
When I make my way downstairs, I see he’s still a crying heap by the front door. There’s a moment when I put myself in his place and think about what I would do if I lost Lily. I would be a mess, and I might even turn to alcohol. But I know I could never do that to a child. I could never hurt something that was a part of her and something that she loved. He doesn't deserve a second chance, but that’s not for me to decide. All I know is that I’ll be the one to take care of her from now on. Not him.
I don’t give him another look as I leave the house and close the door behind me. I walk down to the Jeep and put her bags in the back before climbing in and pulling her into my lap. I drive away from her house in silence, because I need to get her away from here. Away from this darkness and all the things that have hurt her. I’ll protect her from this. Forever.
22
Lily
Ren only makes it a few blocks from my house before he’s pulling over to the side of the road. I have my face cuddled in his neck, not wanting to look at him. I can feel the wetness on my cheeks and where I’ve soaked his shirt. I sniff when he starts to rub soothing circles on my back, trying to get me to calm down. He’s telling me everything is going to be okay and how much he loves me. He’s saying that no one will ever hurt me again.
I feel so embarrassed by what he saw. It’s a dark part of my life I’ve been trying to hide from him. I didn’t want him to see the dirt and sadness that coats me. His family is so perfect—everything I could ever dream of having.
When I finally get the courage to lean back, his eyes go straight to my cheek. He raises his hand and I flinch. Sadness shows on his face at my reaction. He doesn't stop, though, as he brings his hand to my injured cheek. He runs his thumb across it, and I watch as his jaw clenches. He tries to hide his anger, but it’s no use. I see it there.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, feeling like such a jerk. I hate that I flinched, because I know he’d never do anything to hurt me. All he’s ever done is take care of me, make sure I’m safe.
“It’s okay. I get it. You’re scared, and years of living with someone like that can make you that way. Give it some time, and I promise you’ll never flinch again. No one who wants to keep breathing will give you a reason to.”
I lean into his touch, wanting more of it. I’ve been so starved of affection over the years, I want to soak up all the attention he gives me.
“I don’t want to go back there,” I finally say, the tears falling from my eyes. He leans in and kisses them away.
“You will never go back there.” Ren tells me fiercely. “You’re with me from now until forever.”
I cry harder at that, wishing it could be true. It sounds so wonderful, to spend the rest of my life like last night, wrapped up in him, feeling like nothing could ever hurt me because Ren wouldn't allow it to happen.
“But—” I say, but he cuts me off.
“You’re coming home with me. We’ll finish out the school year, then we’ll get a place near school. We’ll figure it all out.”
I drop my head a little, thinking about what he’s saying. I want to grab onto it so tightly, but I don’t want to push Ren into something he’s not ready for. I don’t want him to do this because he thinks it’s the right thing to do and that it’s the only way to protect me.
“You’re it for me, Lily,” he says, as if he can read my mind. “Even before I took you home today I didn’t want to do it. I had to fight myself to take you there. It’s going to be you and me forever. We’re just moving a little faster than some. But I don’t care. You and I are the same outcome either way—sharing ourselves with each other like last night and all the other shit that comes with that. It’s happening no matter how you spin it.”
“You really do love me, don’t you?” I look back up at him, wanting to see it in his eyes.
“More than anything in this fucking world. You’re all that matters.”
I love it, but it also scares me. My father loved my mom like that, too. It’s a fear of mine, and I voice it out loud. “My dad loved my mom more than anything in this whole world too, Ren.”
“No, babe. I’m not sure I believe that.”
“You saw him. He wasn’t always like that. He wasn’t the best dad, but he wasn’t like that before she died.”
“Lily, if you left this earth and left me behind, I’d be miserable. I probably wouldn't want to live. But you know what? If you left me with our baby girl, I’d spend my whole life raising her the best I could. Making sure I did right by her and by you. Making sure that everything I did would make you happy and proud of me. You’d leave this earth knowing that I would give our children everything. You would have no doubt about that. Not doing that, not taking care of the babies we made together, would mean that I didn’t love you, that you didn’t mean the world to me. Because if something means that much to you, then it means that much to me. If I were him, I’d grab hold of anything that reminded me of the woman I loved.”
That makes me cry even harder. Ren pulls me close, holding me while I sob into him, taking it all for me.
“You going to come home with me? Make it your home, too?” he finally asks into my hair.
“I am home,” I tell him. It’s the truth. Anywhere this man is, is my home.
He slowly moves me back over to my side of the car, pulling my seat belt over me, then wiping my face of any remaining tears. He gives me a soft kiss.
“You think your parents will be okay with this?” I ask, unsure how this will go down. I don’t want to upset them. Over the short time I’ve gotten to know them, they’ve come to mean a lot to me. They’ve done so much for me that I don’t want to overstep or intrude on their lives.
“Even if they weren't—which they will be—we’d get our own place. I’ve saved up a good amount of money working, but they will be okay with it. In fact, my mom will probably be overly happy about it,” he says with a smile.
That makes me smile. I love his mom.
“Only fight we might have is you sleeping in my room. Our room,” he corrects.
“Ren! I can’t sleep in your room.” I know they have a guest room. I just thought that’s where I’d be staying.
“See? The fight’s already started,” he says as he pulls the Jeep away from the curb. “Babe, you’ll be sleeping in my bed, and that's final.”
23
Ren
My dad and I sit facing one another in the living room as we look over
at Lily and my mom in the kitchen. Lily was quiet through our talk, and my mom said she wanted to make her some tea. She took Lily’s hand and led her in there, mostly to give my dad and me time to talk, I think.
“I’d like to ask Lily to report this, Ren. I know she may not agree, but I think it would be good to document this in case he tries to come back around.”
I nod, thinking that me kicking the shit out of her dad probably wasn’t the brightest idea, but I’d go back and do it all over again. That fucker deserved it. But I want Lily to be safe, and I know he’s right. Having this reported to the police would be better than pushing it under the rug and having her dad come back with something later. I nod in agreement.
“Okay, good. I’ll call the police chief and have him come by the house so Lily can make a statement tonight. Bill is a good friend, so I’m sure he’ll check on things and make sure she’s okay.” He puts his elbows on his knees and gives me a thoughtful look. “You know, your mother and I are so proud of you, Ren.”
His words take me aback. When we came home and sat down to explain to them what happened, they were both quiet. They shared a silent look before my mom took Lily from the room, but I thought it was so my dad could have a talk with me. One where I’d end up in trouble. I know I’m eighteen and I’ve got enough money to get us a place, but I didn’t want my dad to be disappointed in me. I didn’t want to have to leave my parents’ house under a cloud.
“It took a lot of courage to stand up to him and to get her out of that situation. We’re happy that this is a safe place for her to stay, and she’s welcome as long as she wants. I know you both are serious about each other. I can see it because your mother and I were the same exact way.”