He stared at her back for a long moment, trying to find a way to reach her. Anything. The rage and pain of his loss were too close to the surface, rendering his quick brain useless. This was his Jaimie, yet not.
"Jaimie," he said softly. "Talk to me."
She kept her back to him. McKinley. She'd never called him McKinley, even when they'd been best friends. Cannon, McKinley, and Fielding. Where one had been, there was the other, but he had been Mack, always Mack.
"Was this really an accident? A coincidence?"
His fist tightened until his knuckles turned white. "Of course it was an accident. What else?"
She turned around then, her large eyes luminous, beautiful. Eyes a man could get lost in. "It's a bit far-fetched, don't you think? You just happen to get the wrong warehouse and find me in it."
"It's a small world."
"Don't give me cliches, Mack," she cautioned. "You scared me to death. I thought you were a burglar."
"And you were going to attack him with a frying pan? What the hell's the matter with you?" He had to keep his hands in check when he wanted to step forward and hold her trembling body against the shelter of his. When he needed to touch the silk of her hair and smooth the frown lines from her face.
"I'm keeping a low profile. Shooting a burglar or beating the crap out of him is a good way to advertise my presence, isn't it?"
He drew in his breath. "You're working undercover."
She leaned against the sink and looked at him with her killer eyes. He felt the impact like a wicked punch to his gut and then lower, the pain reminding him he was more than alive.
"I'm starting a new business that requires a good reputation, privacy, and respectability."
"That's a load of bullshit. I'm family. If I'm nothing else to you, at least I'm that."
Her eyes flashed fire at him. Threw sparks. "You broke my heart, Mack. You threw me away for your adrenaline rush. Well, you've got the life you wanted. I learned my lesson, and believe me, it was a hard one. You wanted sex and I was handy. I'm attracted to you and was willing to give you just about everything. I didn't see for a long, long time that that"--she jerked her chin toward the thick, rock-hard bulge in the front of his jeans--"was all that mattered between us, all that you were ever going to give me. It isn't ever going to be enough for me. I've got a life now, Mack. I'm never going to feel like that again, the way you made me feel. I hated myself. I don't want to see you again. I'm asking you to just stay away from me."
"Like hell. Like hell I'll stay away from you." He stepped closer, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He burned for her. Every moment of every day. He couldn't think straight without her. She stilled his mind. Made him human. "I can't breathe without you, and damn you, you know it. You don't get over what we had. You can't. I can't. We belong together no matter what bullshit you're telling yourself."
She shocked him by standing her ground. Staring at him. Her body was still, coiled and ready. She was trembling and there was a slight quiver to her perfect mouth, but she didn't crumble under his demand as she always had.
"It was your choice to throw us away, Mack, not mine. I'm not going to argue with you about my feelings. You just aren't entitled to know what I'm feeling anymore. You aren't entitled to anything of mine. Not my body and not my heart."
"Think again. If I kissed you, touched you, you'd still belong to me."
She gave him that casual shrug that ripped his heart out and made him madder than hell. "Probably, Mack. We always had that firestorm to fall back on, but I realized something when you walked away from me: That's all we had. You told me what to do and I did it, like a puppet. Your puppet. I was good in bed, but you didn't need me for anything else. There are millions of women who are great in bed. Find one of them, one that just wants sex. I want more and I deserve more. I need more. You can't give me what I need, Mack. I've accepted that."
He could hear the quiet acceptance in her voice and panic welled up. She wasn't stringing him along. She was serious. He risked a breath when his lungs burned for air. He took his gaze from her and looked around the huge warehouse. It was a home. Unique. Like Jaimie. She was far from Chi cago where they'd grown up. As far as she could get. She really hadn't provided the information. This wasn't her plan; someone else had gotten them together. She had made a new life for herself . . . There were flowers in a vase on a table. Roses. Red and white. Jaimie's favorite.
Jealousy burst like a dam, flooding him with poisonous rage, a dark red stain that spread fast, gripping like a demon. She'd killed him when she disappeared, left him half a man and damn her, she'd just moved on as if he wasn't part of her heart and soul the way she was his.
"Is there a fucking man living here with you?" He bit out each word. Wrenched the sounds between gritted teeth.
"I'm not doing this with you. I told you I wanted a family, Mack."
"We were a family. We are a family. It's always been us." And what the hell did that mean exactly? He continued to look around the spacious floor for signs of another man.
"Do you remember what you said to me when I asked about getting pregnant?"
"I told you it was fine."
She shook her head. "That is not what you said, Mack. First you looked angry and you demanded to know if I was pregnant. When I didn't answer you, you said if I was pregnant, we'd handle it."
"Well, we would have."
"Handle it? That's not wanting a family, Mack. That's making the best of a bad situation; or worse, maybe your handling it was to suggest an abortion."
"Damn it, Jaimie, I would never suggest you get rid of our baby. Is that what you thought? You know me better than that."
"I thought I knew you. I thought we both wanted the same thing out of our relationship. It was a shock when I discovered I was wrong." She shrugged. "I handled it. But it's best if we don't see each other."
"Because we belong together." There was smug satisfaction in his voice.
"Because we aren't good for each other." There was finality in her tone.
"Jaimie, are you happy?" Everything in him stilled. Waited. Her answer would determine his fate. He wouldn't ruin what Jaimie had if it was really what she wanted. Jaimie would never lie. She might avoid the question, but it wasn't in her to lie. He knew her too well.
The tip of her tongue touched her lip. She blew on her tea, avoiding his eyes. "You didn't need a family, Mack. I was always surprised that so many didn't. I wanted desperately to belong. That was why I joined you in the first place and later did undercover work. I needed to belong somewhere, to feel I was part of something. I haven't found that yet, but I will. At least I know what's important to me and I'm going after it." She flashed him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'll be all right."
Everything in him settled again. If she wasn't happy, that meant he had a chance. It might be a slim one, but he was a GhostWalker and he thrived on slim chances.
"I'm coming back. I have to go to work, Jaimie, but I'm coming back. If you have another man in your life, get rid of him. He isn't making you happy."
Her eyes flashed again, tiny sparks. He felt the answer in his gut. He had never been able to stop his response to her, and since his psychic enhancement, the pull between them was electric. He remembered her as a teenager, a young girl, all eyes and hair and that awesome mouth. When she smiled she could make the sun rise. He'd never met anyone else as intelligent. She could keep up with him on any subject, her mind quick, like the computers she loved so much. He'd spent hours just talking to her back then, watching the animation on her face, knowing she was his--that she'd always been his.
Very carefully she set the teacup onto the sink, more to keep from throwing it at him than to prevent him from seeing her hands shake. "I'm not starting up with you again, Mack. It took too much out of me. I loved seeing all of you. I've felt terribly alone these past couple of years, but I can't go there again. I'm asking you to please leave me alone."
He stepped close, crowding her body with
his so she could feel the heat radiating from his body and the brush of hard muscles against her soft curves. "Honey." His voice was gentle, tender even, as it only managed to be with Jaimie. "You might as well ask me to stop breathing." He caught her chin in his hand and lifted her face to force her to meet his gaze. "You're home to me, Jaimie. I'm tired of being without you. I've never wanted anyone else. I'm not walking away from you. Not after finding you again. I don't care if someone threw us together on purpose. I don't care how it happened. And don't try disappearing. Don't do it, Jaimie. This time I'll come looking, and God help both of us if I have to kill a man over you."
She jerked her chin out of his hand. "I hate the way you have to be so alpha, beat your chest all the time. I'm not a bone to fight over."
"No, you're a woman worth everything on this earth to me."