Mack had been her entire world. She'd spent the first year numb--existing--making it through not each day but each hour. She hadn't realized how much she depended on him and how often she'd turned to him for everything in her life. He'd been her other half. She wasn't complete without him. And to know he didn't trust her had been even worse than his rejection of their life together.
Mack had always been the acknowledged leader, but there hadn't been a single member of their makeshift family who hadn't known she had brains. She'd been shocked when he wouldn't give her suspicions any credence. What was she, then? A warm body he could sate himself with? A woman who fed him and kept his house, but should keep her opinions to herself?
"Jaimie," Javier said softly, trying to reason with her.
There was nothing to say, nothing he could say. She went down the stairs to the darkened first floor. She'd had such plans when she first found the building; now they seemed hollow. She had Mack and the others back in her life, but Mack still saw her as a child to protect instead of a partner he could respect. How was she going to be able to face them all? How was she going to stay in the same room with Mack?
She stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips feeling lost and alone. The sound of the water lapping at the pier was louder on the first floor. She'd done very little down here, other than to secure the windows and entrances against intruders. This would have been a perfect home for Kane and his chosen wife. Jaimie and Mack in her fantasy world would have lived on the third floor. The second floor would have a few spare bedrooms for the boys when they dropped by and a work area for the business.
She sank down onto the floor and dropped her head into her hands. Of course she'd been thinking they'd all work together. She hadn't even realized that had been in the back of her head. She'd start a company, make it a success; Mack would see the error of his ways and he'd come back to her. What an idiot she'd been. All the time she'd been sure she'd been so independent, but all along, she'd been weaving a fantasy.
Jaimie sighed. She'd grown up in a mostly male world. They stuck together, thinking alike for the most part. She should have known Javier would switch the intercom on and try to get information out of her. He didn't view his actions as disloyal any more than Kane viewed his actions as betrayal. Everything with her family seemed to be done in the name of protection. She wished Rhianna were there. Rhianna was very different, much more of a tomboy, edg ier, but she at least understood Jaimie's point of view.
She pressed her fingertips to her eyes and sat in silence, wishing she was alone again.
CHAPTER 9
Mack stood at the window and stared down into the choppy, white foam-tipped waves as the water lapped at the pier below. Jaimie had left him, all right, but she'd put herself in harm's way because she felt she had to protect them all. He swallowed the lump blocking his throat. That was exactly what Jaimie would do--go after anyone she thought was harming her family. He should have known. Kane had known, but Kane hadn't come to him. Was he really so arrogant and stubborn that he wouldn't listen to the people he cared about most?
He had been so hurt when she left him. He'd been stunned--shocked. Totally caught off guard. And with him, hurt always manifested itself in anger. He'd come home and she was gone. She'd left him with nothing. He hadn't considered that he would ever be without her. That he would go to bed and not be able to sleep. That he would hate his empty house. That he would listen for the sound of her laughter. He hadn't realized how often he turned to her to discuss every topic, how much he relied on her knowledge. Jaimie had been as much a part of him as his breathing. And then she was gone and he hadn't understood why.
Mack pushed a hand through his hair, a little surprised to realize it was unsteady. Stupid pride hadn't allowed him to run after her. That was all it had been. Pride. Ego. Jaimie was supposed to worship him, and he hadn't wanted to believe she could make it on her own without him. He was certain she would come back--only she hadn't. She'd gone her own way and, worse, she hadn't contacted him to let her know where she was. That was painful too, to have to search and go through channels, so everyone had known he'd been frantic, had known he needed to keep a hand on her. That had been humiliating in itself. Sergeant Major had called him in twice and asked him if he could still do his job.
He shook his head. He should have handled things differently. She'd been so traumatized the night of that first interaction with Doomsday. He'd felt so guilty, recognizing that everyone who mattered to him could have been killed. As it was, three had been badly wounded. He had been directly responsible. Jaimie freaking out on him, ranting about conspiracies, hadn't made sense at that time. He was wallowing in guilt, desperate to get medical aid for everyone, including Jaimie. She'd been a mess, her brain bleeding. He'd been certain he was going to lose her too. He'd wanted her quiet.
Mack shook his head, pressing his fingertips to his eyes, unable to even recall exactly what he'd said to her. When she'd fallen silent, he'd been happy, not alarmed. Not warned. And then that quiet question, "Where are we even going with this relationship, Mack? Home? Family? Children? The whole thing is based on trust."
He'd heard children. He'd asked her if she was pregnant. Her expression should have been a warning sign, but damn it all, she was bleeding from her mouth and nose. Even her ears. His mind shut down, refusing to let the image back into his head. He was responsible for that too. What the hell had any of it had to do with a botched mission and wounded men?
He turned abruptly. "Kane. You and Javier finish making that lasagna while I go talk to her. She'd be upset if all that went to waste."
"Whoa there, boss man." Kane drew back, both hands in the air. "I agree you need to talk to her, but I don't cook. And this is everyone's favorite. If I mess it up, one of them is likely to shoot me."
"If she cries because it isn't done, I'll shoot you myself."
Javier grinned at Kane and shrugged his shoulders. "Guess we're cooking. Doesn't this thing have cheese in it?"
"She has all the ingredients right there. I think the two of you can figure it out."
"Why is it you always get the girl, Top?" Javier asked.
"Because you're still wet behind the ears," Mack said.
Kane gingerly picked up a large spoon and stirred the sauce. "It smells good. We probably could shred the noodles and just make spaghetti."
Mack paused at the top of the stairs and glared at them. "You can make lasagna."
Kane winked at Javier. "You got it, boss man."
"She went down to the first floor to be alone, Mack, but don't count on her staying there. She'll be back rigging her computers again. She won't be able to let it go. Hell," Javier said, "I want to go down and work with them and I didn't set off her trap. I'd love to see who these bastards are and how she set the trap for them."
"Thanks, Javier." He waited until Javier looked up at him. "You risked your relationship with her for me. I won't forget it."
"I love her, Mack. We have to protect her. I figure we're all in this together."
Mack nodded and hurried down the stairs. Behind him he heard Kane mutter, "I got a punch in the jaw for being underhanded and I was protecting her too."
Javier's laughter was in Mack's ears as he made the second-floor landing. A single light illuminated the bank of computers and screens. Jaimie stood frowning, bent over, inspecting something intently. He had always loved that particular expression on her face. He knew she was figuring out a problem, just by the little frown lines between her brows. She glanced up at him--of course she'd known he was there--and her expression changed to wariness. He didn't want it to, but that obvious change hurt.
"I've got work to do."
It was a clear dismissal. She'd never really done that before. She'd always been glad to see him and because he knew she was serious, the words cut deep. "We have to work this out, Jaimie."
Her gaze slid away from him. "I know. I'm just not ready yet. I still feel a little raw from the last time."
/> "I don't want to fight."
She shrugged, her fingers moving over the keyboard, her gaze fixed on the screen. "We seem to fight whether you want to or not. I'm not going to agree with you on this, Mack. There's no reason to keep going at each other."
Mack crossed the room, knowing she was aware of his every movement, although she didn't look up again. He came right up behind her and peered over her shoulder. It didn't matter. The code racing across the screen meant nothing to him. It should have bothered him, but he was used to Jaimie and took pride in her abilities.
"I'm staying until I know you're safe, so we have to work this out."
She did look up then. "Really? What do you think is going to happen next, Mack? You'll be sent out on a mission. All of you."
He studied her face. "You believe Sergeant Major is involved."
"I know he is."
He tried not to let the instant anger in his gut surface. He was good friends with Griffen and she knew it. Griffen had been instrumental in Mack making the decision to test for the psychic program in the first place. He'd also been the one to keep them all together. Jaimie had never been comfortable around Sergeant Major, but then, she wasn't military. She loved the boys and Rhianna, but stayed away from everyone else.
Her soft laughter was without humor. "You have such a closed mind. I can tell you're already building arguments against anything I have to say, so really, Mack, what's the point?"
"I'm listening," he replied. She always had been astute in an argument. Jaimie caught nuances others didn't. "It isn't easy to hear bad things about friends."