She sniffled. “I hate this.”
“I know.”
“I want to be over him. I do want a divorce.”
“Simon won’t give you a divorce and he’s coming for you, no one else.”
“Come on, you can’t believe that.” She pulled away, wiping at her eyes and wincing. There were certainly consequences for being in a fight and for not being in a fight for a very long time. “I don’t want to make this choice. I forgot how much it sucked getting hit.” She was in so much pain, physically and emotionally.
“That’s what you get for fighting. Was the chick hot?”
“Even now, you’re all about the sex.”
“Hey, I’ve got to keep my reputation up some way.”
“What about Constance?” she asked, groaning. “I’ve been such a crappy friend.” With Nathan, work, and her life doing a complete three-sixty, she’d turned her back on close friends.
“You’re not a bad friend. Constance is away at college. She’s studying art or design or something.”
“Yeah, I did hear some fancy college was willing to pay for her scholarship.” Tabitha looked at her brother. “You know, the same scholarship she didn’t apply for or have any knowledge of.”
“What are you getting at?” Miles asked.
“I know the truth. What I’m wondering is why you’d do it.”
“She’s talented and I want her to have the best life she can.”
“Being halfway around the world.”
“She wanted to travel,” he said, shrugging.
Tabitha shook her head. “So the girl you’ve been crushing on for a lifetime is halfway around the world, traveling, for what? For you to miss her?”
“No, for when she gets back, for it to be all out of her system.”
“Do you think she’s going to come back?”
“One day.”
“And you’re waiting for her?” Tabitha asked.
“Yeah, I’m waiting. I’m not living like a monk and she’s, you know, living her life.”
“You never told her how you felt?”
“Didn’t want to.” He shrugged again.
“You’re as stubborn as Dad.”
“Yeah, and the stubborn gene completely missed you.” The sarcasm dripped from his lips.
“Wiseass,” she said. “I’ve missed this.”
“You need to come around the clubhouse more often.”
“Why don’t you come and see me at home?” she asked. “I can cook, you know.”
“Yeah, but you see, being a prospect doesn’t exactly come with a whole lot of perks.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I’ve got to do a lot of shit I hate doing. It’s all part of the job and most of them fucking suck, but once I get my patch, I’ll be there.”
She looked toward the clubhouse and sighed. “I’ve got to go to Piston County, don’t I?”
“You don’t have to go, but if we’re all right, then Simon’s coming back for you. If you want to see him dead, stick around. I’m sure we can take on the Monster Dogs and Chaos Bleeds. We’re badass. If you don’t, then you’re going to have to consider it.”
“Even if I stay long enough to serve him with a divorce?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Will you come and visit me?”
“I’ll try to.”
She stared at her lap. Her hands were a mess. The fight tonight. The fun she had, it was starting to ebb away, leaving nothing but the memory of the pain and loss.
“I’m tired of waiting, Miles. I … the date tonight. Niles, that’s my date’s name.”
Miles burst out laughing. “Talk about keeping it close to family.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“I can just see it now. What a way to dampen the mood. Like mid-sex, you accidentally call my name.”
She hit him in the stomach. “You’re gross.”
“I can’t believe you went on a date with a guy named Niles.”
“He wasn’t that bad. Dad set it up.”
“That’s just worse. Dad set you up with a bore. Wait, is this the guy from the bank?”
“Don’t start.”
“I’m not saying a word.”
She felt his body shake with the chuckling. “It’s not funny.”
“I’m not saying anything.”
“No? But I can feel you laughing.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just, you on a date with a banker. Is he still alive? And how are you still awake?”
“It wasn’t too bad.”
“Really?”
She shoved him with her shoulder. “It wasn’t.”
“You decided on this not so bad date to go and enter a fight. You’re telling me that was just for the good of what? The universe?”
She sighed.
“Look, Tabs, I know this has been hard for you. I get it.”
She glanced at him. “I don’t think you do. There’s nothing for you to understand.” She blew out a breath. “What happened can’t be taken back.” She ran her fingers through her hair only to find more pain points, so she stopped. “I think fighting was a bad idea.”
“I bet you were a badass, though. You always were.”
“How did we get here, Miles? Seriously. I feel like I’m all alone in the world and I know that’s not true.”
“Maybe it feels that way to you,” he said. “After Nathan was born, you stopped coming around so much. I guess it can be pretty tough.”
Staring down at her hands, she felt this huge, empty hole deep inside her core. An emptiness that never seemed to be filled.