“Are you going to prospect for the club?” she asked. “Is this a little pit stop before you move on again?”
He stirred the sauce in the pot. She noticed he put meat in a separate one and had split down the sauce. She wasn’t going to think of his actions as sweet. They weren’t, anyone could cook a plain tomato sauce.
Pushing her hair off her face, she needed a bath. This was all a little too much. She missed Nathan, but she couldn’t help but enjoy being around Simon.
Her heart raced and there were moments her body tingled. Her lips were swollen from his kisses. The pressure between her thighs was pleasant. She hadn’t experienced anything bad or scary.
Her parents had wanted her to go to therapy to talk about what happened. Instead, she’d talked to Lacey and to Sandy. Lacey had experienced serious horrors as a child in an MC that was now annihilated, and Sandy was a doctor. Both women had told her she would know what to do to help her. Lacey didn’t go to any therapist. Tabitha didn’t want to talk about any part of what happened. Anthony saw enough to know it had been bad.
The nightmares had stopped after a year, and she was stronger. She didn’t get scared in a room full of men.
She had control.
What she hadn’t experienced was sexual desire with a man. In the privacy of her bedroom, reading some dirty books, she’d enjoyed exploring her fantasies, but again, no man. With Simon, her body betrayed her.
She wanted him.
Craved him.
And that scared her.
What she wished was to stay mad at him. To make him pay for leaving her for so long.
It was stupid, but again, nothing about this had made real sense.
“I’m not leaving Piston County again. Unless you decide you want out of the club life forever. You were always going to be my queen. My old lady. I don’t need the club. I’ve lived without it.”
“But it’s in your blood. You must have missed it. Isn’t that why you’re back?”
“I’m back because it’s time. I’m ready.”
“Great, because you’re ready, everyone else has to be.”
“What you need to understand, Tabby, is when or if I take over from Chaos Bleeds, if Anthony or Lash haven’t made the necessary adjustments, I will be cutting all ties with The Skulls.”
Tabitha opened and closed her mouth. “It wasn’t all of them.”
“I know, but I want nothing to do with them. I don’t want a single association with that club. I will find a way to end them.”
“What you’re after is wiping out the club’s existence, and this has nothing to do with me, not even a little bit.”
“It has everything to do with you.”
She laughed. “You could have fooled me. The entire club wasn’t there, Simon. One man. You took care of him.”
“And I made a mistake that night.”
“Really, you made a mistake?”
“Yeah, I should have taken Ryan. I could have kept him alive for many months, making him pay for what he did to you. Instead, I showed him a kind death. Don’t worry, I won’t make that mistake again.”
“So, what you want to do is go back to the old days when there was a risk of death at every turn. You know, being shot at, invaded, sent into hiding. We lived through all of that shit that our parents created.”
“I know. Once the Monster Dogs are gone. I’m done.”
“No,” she said. “If you want your queen by your side, then no. You will back away right now.”
He smirked. “You’re my queen already.”
“If that’s so, you will listen to me.”
“Of course. I will listen to whatever you have to say.”
“Damn it, Simon. Stop patronizing me.”
He stopped stirring and moved toward the counter where she sat. His hands flat on the surface, he leaned in so he was so close it wouldn’t take much of a stretch to kiss him. His lips looked so tempting.
Seriously, what the ever-loving fuck? Stop thinking about him and sex. It’s … not good.
She wasn’t going to become this person. No way. No fucking way.
Staring at him, she waited for him to say what he needed to so they could both move on.
“When I take over as president of Chaos Bleeds, I’m going to need to talk to Lash.”
“They will make the necessary arrangements.” She stood up, putting her hands between his and touching the tip of her nose to his. “I will not live in a prison nor will I put my son in danger.” The irony wasn’t lost on her how less than a few months ago, she wanted the old days back where death and destruction were the norm. She couldn’t go back. As a child, she’d gotten hurt, beaten in fact. The fear as gunshots rang out. She and Simon even had matching gunshot wounds for a through and through. It hadn’t killed them, but that was their reality as kids. Seeing the worry, the fear on all the adults’ faces, or even the rage. The blood. She didn’t want that. Between them, Lash and Devil had found a solution that had brought peace between the clubs. Yes, something needed to be arranged between Chaos Bleeds and the Monster Dogs but until then, she didn’t want a war.