Super Secret Santa

Becca and I shared a chemistry class that year and I got to know her better. I grabbed a seat at her table, but across from her. Unfortunately, the seat next to her was already filled with a bandmate of hers. I began looking forward to 5th period, and seeing Becca, the four of us making small talk.

I learned to keep my wits about me, given the nature of the class. Once I was looking at Becca when I almost poured the wrong beaker into the flask over the flame. My lab partner stopped me just in time. I was still pretty sure he knew why I’d been distracted, and while he seemed to have a sense of humor about the incident, he definitely kept an eye on me after that, and I didn’t blame him.

I never knew what happened during those last couple months of our senior year, but it all started when I finally had the nerve to break up with Cindy, which turned out to be about as nasty as I had expected it would be.

Suddenly, DJ wasn't talking to me either. Jill was making his life difficult due to her loyalty to Cindy, and he found it easier to just stop being my friend rather than answer her probing questions about what he knew and when he knew it.

A few weeks later, I found the courage to ask Becca to Prom after class, and she promptly shot me down. Not politely either, but in the hallway and rather loudly. She had been quiet in class the last couple of days, but I just assumed she had a lot on her mind with our finals. She seemed studious.

I never knew what prompted her outburst. I thought we were at least friends. I grew to think she must have thought I was just another dumb jock, or that the breakup with Cindy made me untouchable.

I had pictured a perfect night with Becca, seeing her in a gown, accentuating what I imagined was a beautiful body and flawless skin. The rest of the class would see, for the first time, what I already knew. She was perfect.

But apparently, it wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t even go to Prom at all, because I didn’t see the point in going without a date. There were a lot of other girls who would have been happy to go with me, but I just didn’t feel up to it. None of them could compare to Becca.

After that day, the rest of the school year passed quickly. I never looked at Becca again, across the table in Chemistry. We never spoke. My pride was fucking wounded, I had to admit.

Finals came and went, and I kept things simple that summer before college, making sure not to develop feelings for anyone, as if I could. Even long after that, the women I was attracted to when I had had a few drinks were always women who reminded me of Becca.

Of course, they weren’t her and couldn’t ever come close. No one was her. I supposed that was why I preferred one-night stands with no commitment. I couldn’t imagine committing to anyone but Becca and that was impossible, so I stayed single.

Becca was nearly up to the front of the line before I remembered that I had on the stupid Santa suit and so she surely wouldn’t recognize me. I didn’t know what to do. I had never liked anyone like I did her.

And now, she looked incredible. Better than she ever had. Her hair was still long, but with highlights. Where I had never seen her shape in high school, today she was just wearing some Levi’s, which fit like they were made for her nice, round ass, and a cropped sweater, its jade color bringing out the green in her eyes.

She didn’t seem to have any makeup on, yet she looked perfect, and I couldn’t seem to look away for long. I had fantasized about her for so long after we hadn’t worked out, burdened with the reality that she could never be mine, but she looked even better now than she ever had in my fantasies.

I tried not to imagine what it would feel like to slide my hands up either side of the short sweater she was wearing, feeling her soft, warm skin, while kissing her perfect lips. Becca seemed to hear my thoughts and was now looking at me, turning bright red.

It seemed she had recognized me, after all. And that she blushed at the sight at me, even though she clearly hadn’t wanted to be with me in high school.

What the hell?

Now I was more confused than ever. But I was determined to see what might happen, and wondering if I might be able to claim her as my own after all this time.