My Secret Santa's Secret Baby

It was almost a law of the universe. Just as the phone will always ring right when you step into the shower, the closer you get to the city, the thicker the traffic became, inevitably getting to the point of reaching a complete standstill. The city road started to more closely resemble a very long parking lot after a while.

I’d never been terribly religious, but if there was someone up there with a timetable directing traffic, it didn’t include getting me to the office on time today. Everything else had gone exactly right. I’d even left early enough in the morning to beat the traffic, at least on any other day.

The only explanation that made any sense was divine intervention, as if giant words were written in the sky saying NOT TODAY, SIMON. But since I was the head of an editing department, I could come in whenever I wanted. I would just prefer to arrive earlier than I was certainly going to arrive today.

Shops and restaurants of all types called me like sirens on the rocks as I drove towards the office, their undoubtedly tempting smells deflected by the windows. I didn’t have a great reason for wanting to go in and sample their wares.

My metabolism was high enough that I didn’t have to worry about the calories. It also wasn’t a matter of hunger, the smoothie specially formulated to give me everything I needed for a long morning.

The thing pulling me off track that morning had as much to do with habit as anything else. The primal need to chew, based on a lifetime of eating for comfort.

After I took a stick of gum from the pack sticking up out of the ashtray, relief came quick, washing over me in an awesome wave. All craving for food or any thought of it scattered like autumn leaves on a strong wind.

Jutting up into the sky like a post-modern obelisk, I saw the tower where the office was located. I didn’t know what madness had inspired the original architecture, but I had to admit that the structure had a kind of sinister charm.

I was finally within viewing distance of my destination, and ready to put in a hard day’s work at the office.Chapter Three - SkyeThere are things in life that are unavoidable.

Dancing to a rumba beat.

Laughing when others are, even if you don’t completely get the joke.

And really needing to go to the bathroom at the sight and sound of rushing water. Even if you didn’t need to go just minutes before.

Near the top of this list of unavoidable and indispensable things in life, at least for me anyway, are freshly made baked goods. I had always suspected it was a large part of the reason why it seemed like bakery owners set up fans inside just to blow the scent out into the street to draw in unsuspecting suckers.

Captured by the sweet scent like a giant in the mist, I was drawn into the neighborhood bakery, just blocks from meeting my density at work with my new job. The smell was even stronger inside. It was more than enough to make my tummy rumble.

I could almost taste the donuts as they sat all sweet and indicting under the glass. I couldn’t decide which kind I should buy because I wanted all of them. Suddenly, it was like a light bulb appeared over my head as inspiration struck from the clear blue sky.

“I’ll take a dozen, please,” I said to the guy behind the counter.

He smiled.

“Which would you like, Miss?”

“One of each,” I answered, gesturing at the expansive array of options.

“Of course,” he said, looking happy to oblige.

The box was heavier than I thought it would be. The bakers must have really filled up the jellies to get them to that level of heft.

Still, I was proud of my cleverness. I hadn’t had to decide which flavors I wanted, and I could share them among my new colleagues as an act of goodwill and let them choose for me, because I’d eat what was left.

I really did want to be popular. Not only to help my chances at a permanent job, but also because I never really had a friend in school, except the ones my parents had insisted that I hang out with. I hoped the working world of adults might be different.

Once I approached the office building, it looked like the peak of Mount Doom, only even more intimidating: all shiny black glass showing the viewer back to themselves as though seeing into their soul and creating a warped version of it.

Eventually I found the entrance, a section of the seemingly endless surface appearing as though by magic. I ventured into the lobby, carrying my computer bag in front of me like a chest plate, wary of what horrors might be found therein.