A Mermaid s Kiss (Daughters of Arianne 1)
Page 43
Perhaps, she reflected despondently, it was best for her not to trust her intuition quite so implicitly when it came to dealing with an angel.
Then he stopped, came back just as she started to trudge along with him, and lifted the backpack away from her.
"You will stop carrying this," he admonished her gently. For the first time, he seemed to notice she'd changed clothes, and a corner of his mouth twitched. "No danger of you outrunning this guardian angel, little one. Would you like to ride for a bit?" He indicated his back.
As much as she wanted to say yes, she feared it wouldn't be long before it wasn't a choice. So for now she demurred, indicating her desire to walk. He had her follow behind him, instructing her to follow in his footsteps so he could keep her from stepping into softer places where the volcanic sand would go down deeper than expected, or places where the ground cover would scratch her legs. There was also the occasional poisonous snake or bug to avoid. In return, she spoke up if they strayed off the direction they needed to follow.
While he'd encouraged her several times at the beginning of their journey to turn back, Anna now knew he hadn't ever really wanted her to leave. Whether that was an unhealthy dependence on her or something more played in her imagination, giving her alternately worried and warm thoughts.
She should just count it a blessing he'd stopped trying, for she sensed he could be implacable in his purpose when his mind was set. She wasn't so sure at this juncture if he couldn't tempt her to capitulate.
They discovered a hikers' road of sorts, which of course contained the inevitable evidence of human travelers--trash. To pass the time, she coaxed him into a game of kick the can as they made their way down the dusty track. They worked the soup can back and forth between them at an ambling pace. For a time the clanking was the only sound breaking their companionable silence. That and the desert creatures, insects and birds making their harsh calls and chirps, warbles and hiccups. Most they did not see, but then he pointed out a large gold and black lizard.
"Gila monster."
Anna squatted to look at the large snakelike lizard burrowed under one of the shrubs, but when she leaned forward, Jonah's hand came down on her shoulder, keeping her still. "They aren't necessarily friendly. They only eat about four or five times a year, but when they do, they consume about 50 percent of their body weight. That would make you an appealing meal, little one."
She made a face at him, then she saw him studying her face, his eyes sharp on what she knew was a pale complexion. Adjusting her hat, she rose and returned to the road and their game.
"So what did Lord Lucifer mean, that you could have called him whenever you wished?"
Fortunately the question broke his scrutiny. "Angels are linked, telepathically, for lack of a better word. To each other and somewhat to the Lady Herself."
"So you're in each other's heads all the time?"
"Goddess, no." He chuckled. "What a racket that would be. There's a skill to it you have to learn. Which is good, because otherwise a young angel, still inexperienced at shielding his thoughts, would be popping in and out of the mind of everyone he thought about. It's like a very heavy door, and you have to learn to hold it open. It takes effort, so it shuts on its own when you're not focused on it."
He eyed the can, gave it a deft kick that took it in the air and cleared a desert tortoise crossing their path. The creature plodded onward, unconcerned. Jonah guided Anna in a wide berth around the creature.
"Surely he's not a danger."
"It's not that." He shook his head. "If you startle them, it can make them void their bladders. They store fluid in their bodies to last them for months out here without a water source. If you scare them, they can die."
"Do you know everything?"
He flashed her one of those devastating grins that could make her toes curl. "When it comes to the Lady's creations, I have access to a universal library. As soon as I see something, I can bring information about it into my head. But after so many years, I've retained a great deal of it. Angels have vast levels of memory, so I rarely have to access that library anymore unless it's something new I haven't seen before."
"So is accessing the Lady like that?"
He slanted her a glance. "Not exactly. You know some of the different stories, like the Tree of Knowledge?"
She nodded. It relieved her, how comfortable he appeared with the discussion. But then she realized this would be familiar territory. Patiently teaching her what he likely had taught many young angels before, like David. "There's a veil over the world, over every world inhabited by Her creations. She won't delve into thoughts or intent below that veil. When you pray, it can pierce that veil, and reach Her. It's like a radio signal. If you pray with pure intent and focus, She hears it better. If you pray for a pretty dress"--he slanted a humorous look at her--"it never makes it past the static."
"I'll keep that in mind," she said dryly.
"When She gets prayers, it's not like Santa going through a laundry list. She sees cycles, knows how things are supposed to fit and work for each life and how they all connect. She therefore knows whether it's a good wish to grant or not. She understands every ripple in the pond. At least that's what most believe."
"Does She ever walk the Earth among us?" Anna interjected quickly, before he could follow that line of thought into darker territory.
"She's in everything." Reaching out, he touched the small fuscia-colored cactus flower he'd put in the band of her hat earlier in the day. She tried not to lean into his touch like a lovesick girl, but she couldn't help brushing her lips against his hand as he pulled it away. His lips
curved, his eyes warming on her. "Especially in spontaneous acts of love."
"Can She read your mind if you're above that veil?"
"Yes and no. If you're in Her presence, She can, but She won't unless asked. If you ask, you feel Her there, but just like mist. If She focuses too hard, She can destroy your mind."
Anna came to a stop. "You've been in Her presence? I mean, like a real audience?"
Jonah turned to face her. "Of course. Though it's been a long while. Perhaps fifty years. Not like Lucifer or Michael."
"Well, of course," Anna said with forced casualness.
"Michael is a Full Submission angel. And Lucifer may be, but he's closemouthed about his status. A Full Submission angel is permanently, completely mind-open to Her, their will Hers to direct. You're giving Her everything of yourself, holding up a mirror to your own soul. Michael, Gabriel, Raphael--they're all Full Submissions. Lucifer's in charge of what humans call Hell, but it's about redemption and justice, not eternal damnation, unless someone is just stubborn, too stubborn to learn."
At her sidelong glance, his lips twisted. "He always said if I were human, I'd be the one too stubborn to learn."
She laughed then. But after a moment, she drew closer to him, touched his arm, looked up into his face searchingly. "You stood before Her. With Her. What was it like?"
"Beyond words, little one," he said after a long moment. His hand rose, massaged his chest, then a little harder. "It . . . was the answer to everything. You just want to stay there . . . but you know you can't." He winced as if he'd hit an old wound and kicked the can again, she supposed to cover it, but she'd already seen.
"You're the second in command of the armories, right? Have you ever considered it, the Full Submission thing?"
"Once or twice. I'm sure there's an appealing peace to it, having your will belong to another. But I'm not ready to relinquish that."
"Why?" At his quizzical look, she shrugged. "I mean, if She's the Mother, She takes care of all of us."
A wry smile touched his mouth. "My job is to take care of Her. Perhaps I'm not entirely sure She's the best judge of how to do that all the time."