"I never let you. I fought. You insisted."
David smiled then, let go of her hand to find her face, managing to cup her cheek in that tender way of his, not even seeming to notice when the residual crimson light from her roused emotions sparked down the scorched flesh of his forearm.
They'd hung his daggers and weapons harness on the bed-post. Probably Jonah's doing, to make David feel as if he'd not lost everything he was. She drew one now, brought it to his palm and closed his fingers over the grip. A sob came from her before she could bite it back. "David, heal me."
"He can't afford to lose any more blood. He's too weak as it is." Raphael stepped forward, but in the corner of her eye, Mina saw Jonah reach out, put a hand on the golden angel's arm.
David held the dagger, but tilted his head, as if he were considering her with his piercing gaze. "Are you planning something that could cause you harm?"
"No," she lied. "I'm just frightened of it. Of what will happen, of what it will mean." She stopped, stared for a long moment at the covers. Couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and running one knuckle over the curve of his bare hip, the upper part of his thigh that the sheet's shift now revealed. One small patch of untouched skin. Like the one patch on her face. Only they'd just overlooked it on him. He'd healed it on her.
"I've never trusted anyone, David. I've never believed in anyone, couldn't even trust myself." She took a deep breath. "I can't do this without you. I can't control it without knowing there's someone worth controlling it for. So before you heal me, I need you to know that. That the reason I'm doing this is mostly because I need you. I need you to be whole and well, and there at my back. There's a chance over time I'll learn to control it on my own. So if you change your mind down the road, realize that you don't love me, you could leave." She steadied her voice. "I just don't want you to think I'm doing this because I'm self-sacrificing or generous, or any of that."
His face had gotten sober. Reaching down now, he looked for her hand and found her arm, caressed a small portion of it with a knuckle. "Mina, I love you. I felt it the first time I saw you, like when you watch your child be born and know from that moment on, everything is going to be different. I love you now. Tomorrow, yesterday. Forever. And it will not change."
"Everything changes," she said desperately.
"You're right. Some things grow stronger, richer, more powerful over time. This will be one of them. Trust me for this moment, remember? Believe me. And promise me you won't go away from me like this again, where I can't go to you." His hand drifted to her neck and shoulders. "You've been sitting in that damp cave of yours, getting muscle cramps and joint aches. You're tired." His fingers passed over her eyes, under them, along the lines of her cheeks. "You're not sleeping, baby."
"David." The tears were coming back, and she sprang up and away. "I can't promise anything, you understand? I run away when I'm angry or hurt. I need solitude. But I need to know you'll be around, always. So it's completely one-sided. All I can say is if you're not there, I will give up. I'll just annihilate everything, because total destruction feels better than this loneliness I feel when you're not nearby. And what are you two looking at?" she snapped at Jonah and Raphael, who had been staring at her throughout her tirade.
"Mina."
David had managed to sit fully upright with his feet on the floor, the badly mangled wings doing their best to balance him. He was swaying. Despite Raphael and Jonah's speed, she was there first. She gripped his arms, for he'd dropped the dagger on the bed next to him. She held him until he steadied.
"Mina," he repeated. "It's okay. I'm an angel. I take a lot of things on faith."
"But what if I'm not worth your faith?"
"Do you want to be?"
She remembered his question of long ago. Do you want to belong to me?
"Yes," she whispered.
"Then let's get you healed and see what happens. I have faith in you, seawitch. Though I know you're lying. You're risking something of your own well-being on this." His hand captured hers, tightening a moment. "But you will tell me true. Are you risking anyone else's?"
"No." She let her fingers turn. "It didn't... It apparently wasn't the right time. Or perhaps the magic... it didn't take." She'd been surprised to feel a loss, knowing that.
He seemed to weigh her words, the truth of them. Then he bent forward again, pressed his lips to her nose. "We'll try again sometime, if you want to. And next time, I'll ask first."
"You better," she managed.
"All right, then." He cleared his throat. "So we're going to do this. Because I know you love me. And I love you so much that my heart breaks when you're not near, when you hurt, when you won't let me help. Okay?"
She stared at him, then inclined her head, a slow nod.
The skin around his eyes crinkled. "It's rather pointless to nod around a blind man, isn't it?" He picked up the dagger when she guided his hand mutely back to it, then cocked his head. "Can one of you help hold me up while I do this? I don't want to break off in the middle."
It was of course Jonah who came and put himself at David's back, bracing him with his hands on his shoulders. His magnificent wings were half spread, while David's broken and wasted ones brushed his bare chest. Then David lifted his arm, drew the dagger unsteadily across flesh already raw and inflamed. He didn't even flinch, though. Just let the blood start to well forth.
When he bowed his head, Mina felt his concentration as he drew from scant reserves of energy to do what only he might be able to do, as he'd proved the first time he'd healed that small section of her face.
Mina met Jonah's gaze over his shoulder, knowing the commander's thoughts easily, for they were written on his stern face. You better know what you're doing.
Since she was going into fairly new territory, she was sure he wouldn't appreciate her answer to that. Anyhow, she had all she could do to control her terror. David was depleting his life force to heal her. That was going to be hard enough on him without her fighting him.
Blood drained down his arm, glittering blue with traces of red and black. As he let it run to his palm, she lifted her cloak over her head and sat bare before him. When he reached out, he found the mangled skin where her breast would have been, the most central point from which the magic could flow.
"Don't be afraid," he murmured, knowing her so well.
She pushed aside the fear, for she had a task of her own, and she wasn't going to be a coward this time. She'd done enough of that in the past several weeks. As his hand settled, wet with fresh blood, she closed her own eyes. Laying her palm over an open wound near his abdomen, she felt how sticky and hot it was, infection. The putrid sense of Dark One malevolence, lingering on the edges of the blood vessels. As terrible as the wounds were, how much more awful had it been for him to lie here, Dark One blood roiling in a body that was designed by its Maker to be repelled by it?
His power drifted into her. A weak flow at first, then he pushed himself, his body starting to shake. She sensed the wounds were oozing faster, perspiration building across his forehead. The evidence of a failing system, a body she loved for its strength and raw power. His heart could explode in his chest, accomplishing the same thing as a Dark One attack. Even knowing that, she forced herself to send the urgent words into his mind.
Keep going, David. Push yourself as hard as you can.
Raphael was likely getting alarmed, for David was sure to be turning the color of white light in truth. She kept her eyes closed, though, concentrating, gauging the fading, the rate at which he was getti
ng weaker and weaker. The timing had to be perfect. She started to chant. It was a complicated healing charm, mixed with some Dark Magic that would likely char the pure walls of the Citadel. As she worked the spell up, she used her blood link to communicate with Jonah.
You must hold him steady. No matter what. Tell Raphael he must keep David's hand on my chest. The flow of energy mustn't be interrupted.
Raphael's wings brushed her as his hand pressed over David's wrist. Jonah shifted as his grip apparently tightened on David.
Most beings would resist dying. She knew she didn't have to worry about that. David's focus on her, his dedication, was absolute. He didn't care about death. He cared about her. When she felt him push past the automatic survival instinct, keeping his mind only on her, his heart pumping so hard she could hear the arteries gasping, she knew it was time.
Throughout his system, she visualized the Dark One blood, like so many tiny demonic creatures, despising their surroundings. But just as the angels instinctively fought Dark Ones, so these elements of Dark One blood were like terriers, unwilling to abandon their fight to destroy the angel blood, claim his body for their own. Unless they thought he was dying.
Pressing her hand harder over that wound, she summoned the Darkness to her. Their queen, who would not be denied. She used her power, half command, half coaxing. Come to me. Look inside me, where there is a greater welcome for you. Here lies darkness. Your home.
The blood waffled, undecided, for as much as like attracted like, destruction was its true purpose. Blocking out all else, sending a mental warning to the two angels, Mina changed from persuasion and took away the choice. She reached in with her mind, netted them and ripped them out of the arteries and vital organs, bringing them to her, clawing and screaming. His blood boiled in his veins, his heart rate increasing exponentially. That great organ strained, close to rupture.
As he cried out, it took her back to his screams beneath the teeth and talons of the Dark Ones. Her own body convulsed, so violently that she didn't feel Raphael grip her shoulder to augment his hold on David's wrist. She was in the throes of power, his and hers, what they were doing to each other.