Uncivilized (Uncivilized 1)

The connecting door to Zach's room opens, and he steps through with a sated look on his face. "Ready to go down to breakfast?"

He's wearing that well satisfied look because an hour ago, Zach had woken me up, as he so often does, with his tongue deep inside my pussy and me on the verge of an orgasm. Just as I was getting ready to come, Zach pulled away, flipped me onto my stomach, pulled at my hips to hike my ass in the air, and plunged deep inside of me. I immediately came, muffling my cries in my pillow, and Zach pounded away at my body while he let out a stream of curses and moans.

And then he did something that shocked the hell out of me and made me orgasm again violently. He pulled out just as he started to climax, shooting his warm seed all over my butt and lower back. I felt three spurts hit me while he groaned loudly, then he was dragging his fingers through the slickness... down my back and right down in between my ass cheeks. His finger grazed over my anus and rubbed the moisture all around, and then he gently inserted his finger inside, setting off another sparkling storm within me. He pumped his finger in and out of my ass a few times while I shuddered and cried in wicked release, finally begging him to stop before I passed out.

He chuckled in good nature, removed his finger, and leaned over to press a kiss between my shoulder blades. Then he pulled me back into his arms, and we laid on the bed in silence while our skin soaked up the sticky mess he had made all over me.

Soon, though, he slapped my ass playfully and pushed me out of his bed, telling me to take a shower so we could meet Randall for breakfast. And thus is the reason for my worry.

Facing Randall.

Zach told me on the way home last night what transpired with Clint and Cara. About how they propositioned him for group sex, promising coke and Ecstasy. I had to explain what that was to Zach. He curled his lip up in disgust, and then cursed them both for a solid five minutes.

Worst of all was when he told me that Cara threatened to tell Randall about us, but Zach assured me she wouldn't. He had threatened her the same, to tell Randall about their own dirty secrets, that they are sexually intimate with each other, a thought which gives me the willies. It's just icky!

"I'm not going down," I tell him adamantly. "Cara probably called him this morning. In fact, he'll probably be able to tell by looking at my guilty face."

Zach walks over to me and pulls me into his arms. Cupping the back of my head, he cradles me against his chest and whispers a kiss over the top of my head. This kind and gentle Zach is someone that causes my heart to nearly explode with feeling, and I know that every time he touches me this way, my heart's fate is being sealed forever.

"Would it be so bad if he knows?" Zach asks in a soothing tone while he strokes my back.

Pulling back from him with wild eyes, I practically hiss at him. "Yes, it would be bad. Terrible. The worst. You don't understand, Zach. He hired me to do this job. This is my professional career on the line. Randall has the power to ruin me and then what will I have? I'll have nothing."

"You'll have me," he says simply and for once, my heart doesn't flutter over his words.

So I sneer at him. "What exactly would I have, Zach? A man who knows how to fuck me senseless but plans on leaving to return to Brazil one day?"

"You could come with me," he says quietly, his eyes serious and intent.

I want to scoff at him because the idea is ridiculous. I've lived in a modern world my entire life. I've devoted a large portion of myself to becoming a scientist and developing a name for myself. I could never give that up to... to... what? Pick grub worms from rotted wood to go with the meat that Zach hunts for me?

But I don't say those things because right now, Zach's offer is serious. I also know if he thought about it a moment, he really didn't mean it. I mean... when he returns, he's returning to a tribal society that doesn't even practice monogamy. We wouldn't have our own happy little home, and we wouldn't make love for hours. No, he'd put me on my knees in the dirt and fuck me without any emotion because that is what he would become again when he returns. And that would destroy me.

Taking a deep breath, I turn away from him and walk to the small vanity table. I take a moment to put on my watch and earrings that are laying there. Sorrow courses through me as I realize... there is no future with Zach. There's only the here and now, for however long that may be.

"Moira... Randall wouldn't care if you and I were together," Zach says confidently.

Turning around, I look at Zach with disbelief. "You don't know that. You can't possibly know that."

He gives me a smile as he walks toward me. Reaching out, he tucks my hair behind my ear and looks at me thoughtfully. "I do know that because I've gotten to know Randall. He's a good man and more than anything, I truly believe he just wants me to be happy."

"And are you happy, Zach? Are you really happy here in a world that you want to run from?"

"I'm not running from it now, am I?" he says, his voice hard.

"Maybe not, but you're certainly vocal that you'll run from it one day. Your plans are still to return, right?"

Zach's lips turn downward into a frown, and his voice is sad. "Yes, I'm going back. It's where I belong."

Letting out a breath of acceptance, I place my hand on his chest. "I know. I know you don't belong here, even if I wish you did."

His eyebrows rise in surprise. "You want me to stay?"

I'm not prepared for this conversation because I'm afraid it will lead me to say something foolish, like Yes, I want you to stay. I'm falling in love with you, and I can't bear the thought of you leaving.

But I keep my lips sealed tight and tell him, "It doesn't matter what I want. Like Randall, I only want you to be happy too, and I'll support your need to return if that's where your joy lies."

Zach watches me intently, waiting for me to say something else. He looks disgruntled by what I just said, but I just stare back at him, reaching an impasse in truly laying out all of our feelings. Because let's face it... it's easier to express them with sex and desire rather than talk about what the heart truly wants.

Turning away from me, Zach heads toward my bedroom door that leads out into the hallway. "Let's go eat breakfast and then we can get packed up."

Yes, we need to get packed. Zach and I are going to go to North Carolina for the weekend to visit my sister, and I'm yearning to see her. She's someone I can talk to about all of this craziness with Zach and hopefully, she can give me some perspective.

I cut into the Belgian waffle on my plate and take a small bite. My stomach is still churning with apprehension, worried that at any moment Randall is going to call me out for seducing his godson.

But with every passing moment, Randall is nothing but his kind and jovial self. He and Zach keep up a running dialogue about Randall's plans to expand Cannon's Department Store globally. I can't tell if Zach is truly interested or if he's just humoring the old man, but whatever it is, I can tell that Zach has definitely developed a fondness for his godfather. He's totally at ease with him, and he even kids around, making sly jokes at Randall's expense, who always bursts into laughter at Zach's temerity.

"So, Moira... are you actually working on writing up your study on Zach to publish or will you wait until after he returns to Amazonia?"

I swallow my waffle and take a sip of orange juice. "I'm actually working on the paper as we go. It's a bit different than my other studies on the Indians I've observed who have transitioned back into modern society, so I'm finding this method works better."

"How so?" Randall asks with interest. Zach listens while he eats, but he's actually heard this before. We had talked about it the other day when we decided to have a lunch picnic in the park.

"Well, in my other studies, those Indians were indigenous and had never been in the modern world. Zach is a bit different. He was born here and has some strong memories that have helped to ease his transition. But the biggest difference is in the language barrier. Zach speaks English. The Indians I studied all spoke Portuguese, and I had to work with an interpreter. Also, I didn't have one-on-one access to them the way I do with Zach. I was able to do some interviews with the interpreter and had them fill out some questionnaires, but I couldn't observe them. It was very sterile, and I had a lot of written data I had to analyze."

"So I imagine as you observe Zach, it's easier to write your findings in an organic manner," Randall observes astutely.

"Exactly," I tell him, and then because I'm suffering under massive guilt for entering into a sexual relationship with my study subject, I say, "And again, Randall, I cannot thank you enough for this opportunity. For trusting me with this project."

I notice Zach's eyes fly to me at that last statement and narrow over my choice of wording. I wince internally because while I know that Zach is far more than just a test subject in a project, I'm sure it didn't feel nice to hear me say that about him just now.

Zach watches me a moment and then a hard look filters in. My guilt increases. I open my mouth to try to sugarcoat what I just said, but Zach pushes his plate away and turns to Randall.

"Randall... you need to know that Moira and I are involved in a relationship. So while she's still helping me to adjust," and here he looks back over to me with a pointed look, "and she's certainly studying my ability to acclimate, we are a little bit more than just a scientist and a test subject."

I gasp that Zach would tell our secret in such a blatant fashion. My face flushes red with embarrassment, even as I totally feel that Zach was justified in calling me out on the scientist/test subject misnomer.

My head turns slowly toward Randall, and he's looking at Zach in surprise. "Oh, well... I see."

"Actually, you probably don't," Zach says in a soft voice. "But what you need to know is that I pursued Moira. I seduced her, and she fought me hard. She was so worried about breaching professional ethics that she wouldn't even entertain the notion of having a relationship with me."

Randall's head swivels to look at me briefly, and then back to Zach. A huge smile breaks out on his face. "Pursued her, did you? Wore her down?"