"Yes, sir. I wanted her and wasn't going to let up until she submitted," Zach says as he shoots me a devious grin, and only Zach and I truly know what he means by "submission."
"Randall... I'm so sorry," I tell him. "I totally breached your trust. I have no excuse."
Giving me an amused smile, Randall says, "Well, the way Zach tells it, you had no choice in the matter."
I stand from the table and place my fingertips on the edge to help balance myself because I feel I might be on the edge of a panic attack. "But see... I did. I did have a choice, and I chose to give in to my feelings for Zach. It was wrong, and I have no business even staying here another moment. You can get someone else to take over for me, and I'll share all of my notes so far. There are plenty of qualified people that can continue to help Zach."
Turning from the table, I leave the dining room even as Zach calls out to me, "Moira... wait."
I can hear the scraping of his chair against the polished hardwood floor and I speed up my pace, reaching the staircase and jogging up it. I expect Zach to be in hot pursuit, and I need to reach my room to lock both doors before he shows up.
Once I'm secured inside, I look around almost blindly, trying to figure out what to do. It was the right thing to do... to resign. I can't, in good conscience, continue on and, frankly, I should have quit the very first time that Zach fucked me.
But I was selfish.
So selfish.
I didn't want to give Zach up. Not for the scientific opportunity, but I didn't want to give him up because I selfishly wanted him and wanted as much time with him as possible. And to do that, I had to prey on Randall's trust in my abilities and his generosity.
A soft knock sounds on the door, and I hear Randall's voice filter through softly. "Moira... I'd like to talk to you a moment."
Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. I don't want to face this.
With leaden feet, I walk to the door and unlock it. When I swing it open, Randall is standing there with a kind smile on his face. "Can I come in?"
I nod and stand aside so he can enter, shutting the door behind him.
"You're absolutely right," Randall says as I turn to face him. "There are other people qualified. In fact, some are way more qualified than you are. I interviewed two other anthropologists that had dual Ph.D.s in psychology in addition to their Ph.Ds in anthropology. They certainly would have been far better choices than you to deal with any psychological stressors that Zach would be experiencing."
I nod in understanding. "I agree. I'm sure one of them would be more than happy to step in. This is a golden opportunity."
"Yes, it is," Randall concurs. "But I don't care about the opportunity for their benefit, or yours for that matter. What I care about is the opportunity for Zach."
My eyes lower to the floor in shame, that I've ruined this for Zach.
"And I believe you are the best person to make the most of this opportunity for him," Randall concludes.
My eyes rise to his in confusion. "I don't understand."
"I chose you very specifically, Dr. Reed. Do you think I was just sending someone in to Caraica blindly, hoping for the best? No, I knew everything about the Caraican tribe before I even started looking at anthropological help. I spent a great deal of time with Father Gaul and other scientists that had studied indigenous tribes, learning about Caraican society and their customs and norms. I needed to understand what Zach was truly facing before he came out of the jungle. And once I was able to grasp what I was facing, then I started my search for the perfect person to bring him out."
I'm stunned silent but even if I had the power of speech, I have no clue what to say.
"You were the person, Moira. The best person for Zach."
Understanding starts to dawn on me. "Because I was a woman?"
"Because you are a beautiful, strong, and independent woman, and you're close to his age. You're young and idealistic, so you could show him the world with fresh eyes. You are the antithesis to what Zach is accustomed to. I think you are the best representation of what opportunity looks like in this world. You're also no-nonsense and dedicated. You have a kind touch and a soft voice, and I knew Zach would be like a wounded animal some of the time. You were my first choice then, and you're my only choice now, so I am not accepting your resignation."
"But... but..."
"But nothing," Randall scoffs at me. "I know you aren't solely responsible for the amazing transformation I've seen in Zach these last few weeks, but you are hugely responsible. Zach has opened himself up to the possibility of staying in this world. He's given this old man a chance, and he had every reason to hate me. You helped to make that happen."
"You're wrong, Randall. Zach isn't open to the possibility of staying here. He told me as much this morning."
Randall appraises me a moment, and then walks to my bedroom door. Just as he opens it, he turns to me and says, "Zach is absolutely open to the possibility of staying here. I see it every time he looks at you. I know you two think you were keeping a great secret from me, but I saw it right away... what you have found in each other. And besides that... you two aren't exactly quiet at night."
My face heats up so hot that a tiny sheen of sweat breaks out on my face. Randall gives me a grin and says, "So, you two get packed up and enjoy your weekend at your sister's. I'll see you both on Monday."
Randall leaves and shuts the door behind him, leaving me standing there with a red face and my jaw hanging open.
Chapter 23
Zach
Moira's given me the silent treatment almost the entire trip to North Carolina. I was waiting outside her room when Randall exited.
He gave me a smile and clapped me on the shoulder. "She's a special woman, Zach. Tread carefully with her."
I merely nodded at him in understanding, feeling pretty fucking low about myself. I breached Moira's trust in me by revealing our secret, but I was so tired of hearing her fears. I knew Randall wouldn't care and would even be happy about it. But I couldn't get her to see that, so I took matters into my own hand. And I knew she was going to be pissed at me, but I did it anyway.
Randall's words to me... to be careful with Moira... punch me in the gut, because the thought of hurting her shreds me from the inside out. I know I hurt her just now, and I know I'm going to hurt her when I leave.
But I have to return to Caraica. There is nothing for me here. Nothing except Moira, that is. But what is she going to do? Take care of me? Let me live with her in exchange for providing her orgasms? I have nothing to offer her. Nothing that I'm good at except hunting and raiding, which are skills that are absolutely useless here in this society.
I entered her bedroom to find a suitcase on the bed and her putting clothes in it. For a brief moment, I thought maybe she was still going through with her plan to quit but then, in a clipped voice, she said, "You should go get packed if you still want to go with me to visit Lisa."
The grin that popped out on my face was spontaneous, so relieved I was that she wasn't quitting her job.
Quitting me.
She glared at me in response.
"How long are you going to be mad at me?" I asked.
"I haven't decided," she sniffed, and my grin got bigger. I'd let her have her pique for now, but if she wasn't talking to me by the time we went to bed tonight, I'd fucking demand that she forgive me. I figured I'd fuck her back into line if I had to, just so I can have her smile and laugh again.
I've tried several times to strike up a conversation with her during the ride, asking her more about Lisa and her family. Her words were short, but she wasn't about to be totally rude to me. So she gave me some minimal information, but managed to still radiate angry vibes toward me.
My cock was hard half the time, thinking about getting into her pants so I could make her warm up to me again.
When she pulls into her sister's driveway in Wilmington, in front of a cute beach cottage of gray shingles and white trim, I turn toward her. She shuts the car off and starts to grab for the door handle. My hand snakes out and I let my fingers slide along her jaw, where I grip it firmly. Turning her face toward me, I wait until I have her attention and say, "I'm sorry."