Arilyn turned her back before he baited her further. "Be back at two. Don't be late."
His voice mocked her departure. "Yes, ma'am."
Arilyn got in her car and drove away, refusing to look back.
four
STONE STUDIED HER while he filled out more ridiculous forms with the goal of targeting his "true" anger issues. At least it was a break from Luther's ramblings and Dude A's lame attempt at flirting. They'd been warned that the first day was a full eight hours, and then they would move to three-hour sessions for the rest of the prison term.
Faint lines settled into the crease above her nose, and she seemed distracted. Probably running around saving the world, one criminal at a time. Still, he'd been right about his instincts. She was cute when she got pissed. Trying to hide it by being all Zen and above the regular humans only made her losing it more amusing. He'd try to up his game to distract himself from this daily nightmare. Much better than being stuck with the two bozos beside him discussing feelings.
She stood up, collected the papers, and gestured to the four purple mats laid out on the floor. "Thank you for taking the time to fill these out. Honesty is everything in this course. Besides working on your triggers and digging a bit into what makes us angry, we need to learn coping techniques. I'll be focusing on how our bodies feed our responses, so make sure for the rest of the week you come in comfortable clothing."
Great. Here we go with the yogi crap. Stone tamped down a groan. Maybe she'd demonstrate the poses first and he'd focus on her hot body. "If we can shift to our mats, and sit cross-legged, we'll tackle the first element of control: the breath."
Stone got up from his chair, settled on the mat, and barely managed to cross his long legs. His back gave a bit of a spasm and reminded him his gym routine consisted of weights but little else. The smoking had killed his running and endurance, which he was trying to build back up. But stretching? He couldn't remember the last time he had had to sit on the floor like a toddler.
Arilyn took her position in front, easily twisting her legs up on each knee, back ramrod straight, fingers curled and resting on her knees. She practically glowed with a warm energy radiating around her, making the men take a deep sigh. Her presence alone touched something inside of him he rarely made note of. Too bad he couldn't put a name to it yet. He had no idea what it was.
"Anger sprouts from a variety of places, but there's one simple mantra I want everyone to remember. Leave with this one thing from the course, and your entire life will change for the better."
The men leaned slightly forward.
"Control your breath, control your life."
Oh, yeah, he remembered what she touched in him now.
Aggravation.
Dude A and Luther nodded, hanging on to her Buddha-like advice with an openness that made him want to roll his eyes. Puh-leeze. If it were that simple, no one would ever lose their temper. Did she really think they were that stupid?
His face must've shown his doubt, because those meadow-green eyes focused on him. "Officer Petty? You seem skeptical."
He shrugged. Damned if even his shoulders hurt from this ridiculous position. "Not for nothing, but it's a bit disappointing as the big secret to all anger. We breathe every day."
A tiny smile curved her lips. "Correct. All roads lead from the breath. It is our biggest connection to our body, mind, and emotions. When we experience anger, our muscles tighten, adrenaline rushes through, and we stop breathing. The oxygen flow is stopped up, and this is the key turning point where we may lose control."
Damn, her teacher voice was hot. "So, next time I'm in a situation with some dickhead criminal, I should stop what I'm doing to breathe first?"
Her smile never wavered. "Correct."
He wondered if she breathed to ward off a climax. If he had her in his bed, he'd make sure to push every button she owned to make her lose that almighty control and see if she was able to breathe then. Holy crap, where had that thought come from? She'd probably kill his arousal the moment she opened her mouth to speak anyway. Stone decided to push. "And this works for everything?" he prodded. "No matter what the circumstance?"
"Yes. By the end of this course, I'll show you how it can be done."
Oh, no, she wasn't getting off the hook that easy. "Let's take this scenario. Some jacked-up druggie starts his freak-out attack and goes for a gun. Instead of reacting with normal human emotions such as, oh, I don't know, irritation, general crankiness, and rage, instead I'm supposed to go all Zen and concentrate on breathing before going with my general gut reaction of self-protection and male testosterone. Does this sound right to you?"
Her jaw tightened, but she remained stubbornly tranquil. "You would experience and feel those basic emotions, Officer, but with this practice you'd be able to transition them by connecting with the breath. You will be taught to move past them. Not attach yourself to the up-and-down roller coaster our emotions put us through on a constant basis. This is the way you avoid making bad decisions."
Dudes A and B looked even more enchanted. Stone scratched his head. It was a good excuse to move his hips and wiggle out of the excruciating position for a moment. "Huh. Sounds a little bit like a magic pill to me. Or like drinking the fruit punch."
Those green eyes flashed. He tried not to chuckle.
"Since I tend to avoid both pills and sugary drinks, why don't we allow actions to make up our minds?" Her smile was forced and not directed at him. "Let's begin. Close your eyes. Breathe slowly in and out, and follow your breath. Thoughts will interrupt the flow, but try to let them flicker past your closed eyes like a movie; you're not attached to them. When you find yourself wandering, bring your mind back to the breath. We'll sit quietly for ten minutes. Feel the air rush in and out of your lungs and let yourself go."
Stone closed his eyes and succumbed to ten minutes of ridiculousness. He intended to do exactly what she said, though, so at the end of this workshop he'd be able to tell her honestly that these methods didn't work.
He listened to his breath. He wished for a cigarette. He thought about what he'd have for dinner. He cursed the growing cramps in his leg but didn't hear the other two wiggle around, so damned if he'd move first. Was it over yet? How long was ten minutes? How would she know the time was up? He craved to open his eyes and peek at her but refused in case she caught him and used him as an example of bad behavior.
He'd rather be bad with her in other ways.
Huh. There was that thought again. All sexual. He must be pretty hard up. How long since his last affair? He ticked down the days, then realized he was going on weeks. Yep. Way too long.
Stone clenched his fists, remembered to relax his fingers, and went back to the breath. Who w
ould've thought he breathed so much in ten minutes? He needed to go to a chiropractor. It had been on his to-do list, but he'd gotten too busy at work and forgotten. Oh, he had to pick up beer on his way home, too--he was all out and yesterday he'd craved an IPA and had nothing in the fridge. Back to the breath. Was ten minutes over yet?
Her rich, smooth voice caressed his ears and immediately calmed him.
"Begin to bring yourself back. Deepen your breath, feeling your chest expand and release. Let your body sink into the mat, feeling the earth support you, and slowly open your eyes."
Oh, thank God it was over.
He heard movement, so he stretched out his legs, trying not to wince at the wimpy charley horse in his calf. Okay, he was definitely stretching more. She'd proven his body needed something other than manly weights.
"We'll be using that simple exercise regularly. Would anyone like to share how they felt?"
Dude A rushed to answer. "I felt that if I'd known about that technique before, I would've used it in traffic jams. My head got clearer."
She beamed. "Excellent. Luther? Any thoughts?"
Luther looked thoughtful. "It was an interesting technique. Hard to focus but has intriguing possibilities to integrate in the future to avoid emotional reactions due to my wife's male clients. That's usually a hot spot for me."
"Wonderful. Officer Petty?"
"Stone."
He enjoyed the slight flush to her cheeks, but she remained professional. "Stone, did you have any physical difficulty? Usually men have the most trouble sitting in this position for a while."
"Nope. Piece of cake."
"Wonderful. We'll be increasing our time increments until we sit for half an hour regularly."
Well, fuck. Won't that be a barrel of laughs!
"Did any strange thoughts or emotional issues crop up?"
He met her gaze head-on and grinned. "Actually, I kind of had a lightbulb moment. If I hadn't remembered, it could've been a disaster."
She leaned in, intrigued. "Really? Would you like to share?"