Searching for Always (Searching For 4) - Page 27

If she let him in to talk, she might forgive him. Be happy for a while. Maybe six months. Maybe a year. When they worked together well, she equated it to being high on drugs twenty-four/seven. He made her feel like the most important woman in the world, the keeper of his heart and happiness, and she drowned herself in those dreams. She'd trick herself into believing in something real, believe his lies about meeting her family and friends, and find herself in the same position.

Stone Petty was more honest than this man was. He was also more passionate.

The odd thought trickled past her, but she pushed it aside and concentrated on her ex-lover.

Her voice strengthened. "No more. I like my life now, Jacob. It's more real than what we had. I'm moving on, and it's time you do, too."

"I love you. We're soul mates. If you give me a chance, I'll prove it."

The final pang from his loss struck deep. "I loved you, too. But not anymore. Good-bye, Jacob. Please don't come here again."

The shock on his face told her more than she ever needed to know. Rarely did a woman turn him down. As she sagged against the closed door, heart pounding, Arilyn realized it was the first time she'd ever stood up to him and told him no. On her terms.

A laugh escaped her lips. Shaking, she dropped the basket and grabbed her wineglass. She felt freer than she ever had. The sadness of a broken relationship would always haunt her. She'd given him so much of herself. But she was stronger now. It was time to figure out what she needed and pursue that path with her eyes wide-open and no more lies clogging her vision.

Arilyn sipped her wine. And thought of Stone.

An affair. The thought of giving in to her body and allowing herself to experiment tempted her like a siren call. Still, she was afraid if she couldn't handle it, she'd break again too soon. Not that she'd be in danger of falling in love with him, of course. But if she got addicted to the sex? Began to cling to him in an unhealthy manner due to her leftover need from Jacob?

Nightmare.

The doorbell rang.

She shook her head, grasping the knob, ready to show Jacob what it felt like to get in touch with real anger.

Kate, Kennedy, and Gen were perched on her doorstep.

"Surprise!"

Arilyn laughed and hugged them. "What are you doing here? I thought the bachelorette party was Friday night."

"Did you start the party without us?" Kennedy asked, swinging her hips clad in a trendy pencil skirt with a short leather jacket. She opened up the cabinets and took down three more wineglasses. "Oh, goody, I love sauvignon blanc."

Gen slid onto one of the breakfast stools and sighed. A successful resident surgeon in training, she looked tired but happy. Her dark hair was caught in a messy ponytail, and she wore old jeans and a sweatshirt with the Purity Hotel logo. "I miss this place. I'm so glad you live here now, Arilyn. It's the next best thing."

Kate smiled and plucked a half-filled wineglass from the counter. "This is where you and Wolfe fell in love watching HGTV. Maybe it'll bring the same magic to Arilyn."

Arilyn sighed and leaned against the refrigerator. "I wish." In her attempt to be more open, she told them the truth. "Jacob was just here."

The girls all stared. Gen finally whispered. "You mean Yoga Man? Here?"

Kennedy frowned. "I'll show him a new yoga position he won't soon forget. Do I need to get more eggs?"

Arilyn laughed. God, it was so good to have a tight circle of friends who knew all her crappy issues, her choices in bad men, and loved her anyway. "No eggs needed. He wanted me back, of course. I said no, I've moved on. He looked shocked that I knew how to say no to him, and I began to drink buckets of wine. Oh, and there's a healthy broccoli bake for dinner."

Kate pressed her lips together. "He's such a jerk. If he thinks you're gonna transcend two cheating incidents, he's nuts. Are you okay, A?"

Her friends waited for the answer. Slowly, she nodded. "Yeah, I am. It hurt, but I know I made the right decision. I don't want that kind of life for myself."

Gen nodded. "That's why I ran out on my wedding day. It just hit me, and I had to make a choice. You won't regret it. Something better is on the horizon."

She thought of her hot cop ready to do dirty things to her, with her, and felt heat rise to her cheeks.

Kennedy pounced. "Uh-oh. And something already has. Or someone. Spill."

"Nothing. Let me get the casserole out."

Kennedy blocked the oven and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Hell, no. Who's got you blushing? I know it's not those dogs you love so much. Oh, is it the director from the shelter? He seemed hot."

"Anthony? No, he's great but more of a friend."

Gen tilted her head. "It's not that cop from the summer, is it?"

All the girls turned to look at her. "What cop?" Kate demanded. "How do you know about this and I don't?"

Gen grinned. "When Arilyn called the cops on my ex, we rode in the squad car with him. He had a gorgeous partner--Devine, I think his name was. But it was the other one that held Arilyn's attention."

Arilyn squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. Nightmare. She could

n't lie. She had promised. "He's in my anger management course," she finally said. "Officer Stone Petty."

"That's the one!" Genevieve snapped her fingers. "He was looking at you like he wanted to gobble you up. He reminded me of the big bad wolf. Really tall, dark, and badass."

Yes, on first sight he was a bit scary. Now? He'd saved her and Pinky. He hated children and women getting abused. He'd been through a crappy childhood and didn't whine. He was amazing.

Huh?

When had she actually begun to like him? Did she like him?

Kennedy clucked her tongue. "About time you date a hottie. A cop in uniform? Kill me now. I'm hiring one for Kate's stripper Friday night."

Kate groaned. "I don't want a stripper! I have Slade in my bed and have no need to see any other man naked."

"We have to do it. Tradition. It will be tasteful."

"Strippers aren't tasteful."

"Exotic male dancers," Ken corrected.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Back to hot cop. Are you dating?"

Arilyn waved off the question. "No. He's my client. Kind of. And he's completely not my type. We fight, and you know I never fight with people."

"Fighting is a source of releasing sexual tension," Kennedy pointed out. "This could be a good thing. Did you ever fight with Yoga Man?"

"No, never." Arilyn thought over their relationship. Had she ever even argued with him? When she got upset, they sat down and discussed. Made compromises. There was never yelling or anger, even when inside she seethed. Instead of letting the emotion back up and fester, she used her meditation and yoga practices to come to terms and release.

With Stone, she wasn't afraid of snapping back at him. In a way, it was sort of fun. Nothing was left behind to work out, because she always told him exactly what she thought and felt, with no worries about how he'd handle it.

Interesting.

Gen nodded. "Kennedy's right. The two of you exploded together. Why don't you just date him?"

"No, we're too different. It would never work."

"Then just sleep with him." Everyone stared at Kennedy. She lifted her hands up in the air. "What? Why does everything always have to be heavy and relationship centered? Affairs work. Get him out of your system. He's your transitional anyway."

Tags: Jennifer Probst Searching For Romance
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