"No, go ahead. I'm gonna play a round. Devine will give me a ride."
"Thanks."
Stone fumbled for his phone and headed out the door. The cold air whipped at his face, clearing his head, and without thinking, going on pure impulse, he dialed her number.
One ring. Two. Three.
"Hello?"
"It's me. No, don't hang up!"
The silence spoke volumes. Her usual musical voice was flat. "What do you want?"
"I want Pinky back."
The endless words he ached to tell her backed up in his throat until only that one sentence spilled out. Maybe she'd understand what he meant. Pinky was the symbol of everything he wanted but never thought he deserved.
"You want Pinky back. Why?"
"I made a big mistake, Arilyn. Huge. Colossal. I'm coming over to pick her up and talk to you."
"You're drunk, aren't you?"
"No! No, just a bit--not really. I had a few beers. But I'm not drunk."
A small sigh puffed over the phone. "I get it, Stone, I really do. But I can't do this. You get drunk, you feel lonely, you think you can handle it. I've been here before. You miss Pinky's company and the way she adored everything about you, with no concept of asking for anything back except your attention. Trust me, in the morning it'll all come flooding back, and you'll back away again. I lived this dance, and I'm done. I'm sorry. Maybe you were right after all, and we're better off apart. Including Pinky."
His heart now exploded and his body went into junkie-in-need-of-a-fix mode. Sweat poured from his skin, panic settled in his gut, and he couldn't seem to catch his breath. "No, please listen to me; it's different than you think. Just let me come over and explain it."
"No! I won't open the door, Stone. You need to go back to the bar and your friends and your life. You'll thank me tomorrow."
"But Pinky--"
"Pinky's gone," she whispered.
No. No, no, no, no. "What do you mean?"
"Anthony is sending her to another shelter to work with a behaviorist. He's an expert in abused animals and thinks they can get her a family. I'm fostering three new dogs who come in a few days. It was the right decision."
"You gave her away?"
An arctic blast exploded into the phone. "No. You gave her away, remember? Please don't call me again."
The phone clicked.
Stone stared at his cell phone. This couldn't be happening. How had he experienced the biggest revelation of his life, yet she wasn't ready to listen to him? Pinky wasn't meant to be with another family or a behaviorist who didn't understand she only liked hamburgers and slept on the right side and preferred peanut butter chewy bones.
Pinky was meant to be with him.
In the middle of a full-fledged panic attack, he closed his eyes and did the only thing possible before completely losing it.
He breathed.
In and out. Feeling the air seep and fill up his lungs with everything good and positive. Then release all the bad toxins and thoughts out into the universe. His body calmed. His mind cleared. And an odd peace settled over him, showing him the only road he had left to take.
ARILYN FINISHED HER MEDITATION and slowly opened her eyes. The screens were down since Lenny and Mike had left, but she'd need to erect them again when her new charges came later that day. She usually enjoyed the hushed quiet that filled the bungalow, but lately it beat with an undercurrent of loneliness she seemed unable to fight.
God, she missed Stone.
Anger hit her full force when she thought of his phone call. Stupid drunken musings. She was well versed in those from Jacob. Jacob, who'd have too many cocktails and get weepy. Who promised to change and begged her forgiveness, only to go back to exactly how things were. The crazy thing? She knew Stone loved her. Yet he'd not only walked away from her without a backward glance, but he'd also walked away from Pinky. The last week with the Chihuahua had been heartbreaking. She waited at the door for Stone to enter, a frozen statue who believed her master would reappear. Arilyn had taken her to Kate's every day to spend time with Robert, who seemed to be the only one to calm her. With genuine love and affection, he'd nudge her with his giant nose, flop down, and allow her to crawl over on his back.
Kate had mentioned adopting her, but Arilyn believed the new behaviorist and a clean slate would give Pinky what she needed.
Trying to swallow past the tightness in her throat, she rolled to her feet, blew out her incense sticks, and strode to the kitchen. It would be a long day at Kinnections, and then she needed to go pick up her new dogs. Ever since opening up more to her friends and her grandfather, she felt better able to cope. Oh, it hurt so bad, sometimes she just lay there clutching her chest. Then it eased, and she reminded herself of all she had to give. She had a full life, and she would have the love she dreamed of. This time, it would be with someone who'd give it all back to her.
The sharp knock on the door interrupted her mental cheerleading. She peeked through the curtain and opened the door. "Hi, Mrs. Blackfire. Everything okay?"
"Yes. Do you have a minute to talk?"
Arilyn frowned. "Sure. I'll make you some tea; I have to leave for work soon."
The walker clicked over the floors and her neighbor settled in her favorite chair by the pine table. "None of that crazy stuff, please. Good old Lipton. Why does it smell like drugs in here?"
Arilyn grinned. "It's incense. Helps to connect the body-mind center through the sense of smell."
"Smells like marijuana to me. Where are the dogs?"
"They don't come till later. Poppy's coming for dinner tomorrow."
"Good, I'll bring dessert this time. I'm baking some Irish soda bread. Your grandfather has an affinity for it, though he eats too much."
"Sounds perfect." She handed her the cup of hot tea and sat down. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Officer Stone Petty. You love him, right?"
She almost dropped the cup. "Umm. Umm. Well, ummm--"
"Yes or no will do, missy."
"Yes. But it won't work. He got spooked and took off. It's over."
"Bah," Mrs. Blackfire spit out. "He'll be back. They always come back. Usually drunk."
This time the cup clattered to the table, spilling tea. "Oh my God, how did you know that?"
"Because I was young once. Before I lost my husband in the war, we played a bit of a chess game ourselves. He didn't want to settle so young. I wanted to get married. We broke up once. He had too many whiskeys and ended up at my front door, begging my forgiveness."
"What did you do?" she asked, fascinated.
"Made him suffer a bit and then took him back. Sometimes you need to be the better one. We have no choice."
Arilyn's shoulders slumped. "I don't know. He gave up Pinky. I don't know if I trust him not to spook again. I just don't think I can do it."
"If you love him, you have to make a decision to give him a second chance. If you think he's the one, you have to take a leap. But first, torture him. It's only fair." She finished her tea in a few unladylike gulps and stood. "I better let you go. I'll see you tomorrow."
She grabbed her walker and headed out.
"Mrs. Blackfire?"
"Yes?"
Arilyn smiled. "Thank you."
Her neighbor scowled. "Just make sure you keep that tree trimmed. It's already leaning way too much to the right."
The door slammed behind her.
twenty-one
I'M HERE TO pick up Pinky."
Anthony stared at him. Blinked. Stone had come in full uniform, because he wasn't fucking around anymore. He laid a sweaty palm over his gun holster and held his gaze with a steely determination.
"Pinky? Didn't Arilyn tell you? We're sending her to Jim, who's our new behaviorist. He'll be working with her from his home, and then a permanent home will be found for her."
Stone lay both palms flat on the desk and leaned in. "I don't think you understand, Anthony. Pinky already has a home. With me. I want her back."
Was that a small smile on the man's face or a flash of light? The director turned away so quickly he wasn't sure. He perused a shelf, pulled out a manila folder, and glanced through his notes. "I know you got attached to her, Officer Petty. But she needs a proper home. Arilyn explained you gave her up because you couldn't handle the responsibility of a dog, so we won't be able to give her back to you. Happens too many times. The owner decides it's too hard to take care of a dog, gives them up, misses them for a while, and wants them back. A few weeks go by and we find ourselves with the dog back in our shelter and a heartbroken animal we need to rehabilitate."