I didn’t need Andras to bring any of my nightmares to life. This was my nightmare—losing the only boy I’d ever loved.
And I can’t even tell you.
Jared was in there somewhere, waiting for me. “Jared, listen to me. You can fight him.”
“There are—” Jared’s body twitched and slid to the floor. He reached toward me, the wings of the black dove tattoo on his arm spreading open. “—Some battles you can’t win.”
This was not how things were going to end for us, or for him. “But you still fight. You still hope. Because there’s a chance you might win. And even if you don’t—you fight for the people you love, especially when they can’t fight for themselves.” My voice cracked, and I took a deep breath. I had to be strong for him. “You can do this. Don’t let him win.”
“Shut your mouth, or I’ll—” Jared’s neck jerked. The darkness pulled in toward his pupils, as though they were sucking Andras in along with them. Jared’s chest heaved, and he struggled to catch his breath.
“Don’t have much time.” Jared winced and squeezed his eyes shut. “Something he doesn’t want you to know. A secret.”
The cell door rattled by itself.
Jared’s eyes flew open. His back slid up the wall, while the rest of his body remained completely still. I reached for his leg.
“No,” he mouthed. His body continued to rise.
“What doesn’t he want us to know?”
“He thinks you’ll never figure it out.” Jared sucked in a labored breath. “The—” All of a sudden, the invisible
hand that had been holding him let go. Jared’s body dropped, the chain acting like an anchor. He hit the ground hard, and crumpled into a heap on the floor.
Jared opened his eyes and stared back at me. “The white dove is the vessel.”
36. WHITE DOVE
I wanted to be a black dove, but it turns out I’m a white dove.
I’m also the Vessel.
A cage for a demon.
The only person capable of holding Andras.
The truth sank in slowly, one word at a time. I should’ve been shocked or terrified—emotionally devastated and changed in an irrevocable way. Instead, an overwhelming sense of calm enveloped me.
I am the Vessel.
The only person capable of saving Jared. I wasn’t ready to think about what it involved, not yet. The verses in Faith’s diary were cryptic.
An angel’s blood.
A demon’s bone.
A passing shadow.
A dragon stone.
Heaven and hell, darkness and light.
Caged in the Vessel, as they wage their eternal fight.
Even though I hadn’t figured out the details, there was a way to stop Andras and save Jared’s life. The possibility existed and today, it was enough.
It was too late for Faith and the seventeen dead girls, and for all the murdered people, including our family members. I couldn’t take any of it back, but maybe I could finally make it right.
I remembered the night at West Virginia State Penitentiary, lying in the mud with my legs tangled in razor wire. After I forced Jared to leave me behind in the rain, I made him a silent promise: I’ll find you.
Instead of keeping it, I lost myself in a storm of emotions that almost destroyed me. But now I’d need them all—heartbreak and loneliness, pain and rejection, rage and sorrow—to survive what lay ahead.
The white dove is the Vessel.
I stood outside the cell door, watching Jared’s chest rise and fall. The boy I loved was lost somewhere inside the body he was sharing with a monster.
I’ll find you.
This time I would keep that promise, not only to Jared but also to myself.
If I was the white dove, I would find a way to carry the people I loved. And set myself free.