“What?” Link stiffened. There was no way Ridley could work the word band into any conversation without Link knowing she’d been up to something.
The band was his thing, not hers.
She had pretty much avoided all other music since she and Link had gotten together. Considering the kind of music Link’s bands played, it was better if she didn’t have anything else to compare it to.
Now everything came tumbling out. Everything, up to a point. “I don’t even remember his name. He’s in a band and I saw him play at Suffer.” After we broke up. After I ran out on you. After I went on a bender through half of Europe. After I lost everything at one bad game of Liar’s Trade.
“Go on.” Link looked even more suspicious. Another band was annoying enough. Another band from a Dark Caster club was worse.
The rest of Ridley’s defense came out in one long—and surprisingly partially true—monologue. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to fight about it, and because I knew you’d hate him if you associated him with our breakup.” (Sort of true.) “But that’s where we met and his band needs a drummer and otherwise they seemed pretty good.” (Also sort of true.) “And I told him I knew someone who would be perfect and now here we are.” She took another deep breath. “See? It’s all fine. Now let’s go find a puking clown.”
She tried to sound upbeat, but saying the words puking clown made her give up again.
“I can’t believe you.” Link stared at her, and not in a good way. Not in an I-love-this-Siren way. The bandage dress wasn’t even a factor in this conversation, which proved how badly it was going.
I’m off my game, Ridley thought. I should be able to swing this, but I’m not. What’s wrong with me?
“Which part can’t you believe?” She tried to remember which part was true, but it had gotten so convoluted that she was having trouble sorting it out for herself.
“Any of it. You knew I was comin’ here to break into the music scene. Then you sat in the car the whole way up here and never said one word about me auditionin’ for a band.”
“It’s not an audition. You’ve already got the job.” Which is the whole problem, she thought. Irony sucks.
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“They need a drummer. You’re a drummer. It’s math. You plus them equals band. Done. Can we go find the clown now?”
“Rid. Stop. This is a big deal to me. You don’t get to decide my whole future for me. That’s not how this is going to go down.”
“Why not?”
“It’s my dream. You have to stay out of it. I’m supposed to get there myself.”
“You are.”
“Yeah? How many lollipops did you have to suck to swing this one, Rid?” he asked.
The words stung. She looked away.
“Regular girlfriends don’t do things like that, Rid.”
“Then why don’t you go ahead and get yourself one of those?” Don’t snap, Rid. Back it down. “Because I was only trying to help.” Myself, she added, as badly as she felt about it.
He looked skeptical.
“Really, Link. I’m just trying to be honest with you.” Nice touch.
“Whatever.” He looked away, back in the direction of the graffiti-covered Duane Reade.
“Why don’t you ever believe me when I say I’m sorry?” Ridley attempted to appear sorry, but she was having trouble remembering how that particular expression looked. She went with sick instead, because she’d faked that one enough times growing up that it was almost second nature.
“Because you’re never sorry,” Link said, as if the thought had only just now come to him. “Because you never really believe there’s anything to be sorry for. This is all just a game to you. It’s never goin’ to be anythin’ more real than that. Not for Ridley Duchannes.”
Ridley knew what he was talking about. Earlier in the summer, when Link had confessed that he loved her, she had freaked out and bailed on him. Neither one of them had said a word about it since.
Sometimes real was too real, especially for Ridley.
“No. That’s not true,” she said, suddenly feeling sort of awful.
Link stood up. “I need to walk.”
“No, please don’t,” she said. “Link.”
He took off down the street—away from Ridley and the Beater and the Duane Reade and the whole conversation.
She’d been tricking Mortals her entire life. At least, manipulating them. She’d always gotten by before. Why did she feel so bad about it now? And who was Link to make her feel so rotten for doing what she’d always done?
Most Dark Casters didn’t give Mortals a second thought. They were there to be taken advantage of—it was why they existed.
Like for target practice, or Casting lessons.
They’re just, you know, Mortals.
Ridley sat alone on the curb in the circle of a sad yellow streetlight. The night was dark, even in the city, and once again she was alone.
This is who I am. A girl sitting alone on a curb. This is all I know how to be.
She knew she needed to tell Link the truth, but which truth? And what did it matter? In the end, she’d still find herself alone on the curb.
Maybe that’s where I belong.
She shivered, feeling conspicuous, like the world was watching.
Literally watching.
She looked up.
Because someone is watching me, Rid thought. She could feel it, the eyes on her. She glanced up and down the street. The night grew darker in the cracks and crannies beneath cars and stoops, inside doorways and behind bushes. There were so many places to hide.
But as she watched, everything remained still.
Maybe I’m imagining things.
There were no footsteps, no sounds.
I don’t have that great of an imagination.
Ridley was still trying to hammer it out when Link shouted back to her.
“Rid!”
“Go away,” Ridley said. “I don’t want to hear it.” It was what he expected her to say, the Siren alone on the curb. So she said it.
“Well, that’s too bad, because I found us a puking clown.”
CHAPTER 8
Stairway to Heaven
Where are you taking me?”
“Have a little faith, Rid,” Link said.
“Right.” As if.
Link stopped and pulled her in front of him, putting a hand on each of her shoulders. “Look. I’m tryin’ to help, here. I’m not sayin’ it’s a slam dunk. I gotta make sure it’s a good fit, I mean. The band.”
Ridley held her breath.
“Yeah?”
/> “If it’s important to you, I’ll give it a shot. I mean, I’m your guy. But you gotta be straight with me.”
“I am.” She reached up to push a spike of hair out of his eyes.
“You sure there’s nothin’ else goin’ on here?”
She shook her head. Nothing I can tell you, anyway. But she was still spooked by the feeling that she was being watched. And more than a little guilty about having to lie to her own boyfriend.
She had a bad feeling about this whole night.
“I’m fine,” Ridley said, as much to herself as to him.
Link looked relieved and grabbed her hand. “Then let’s go.”
She followed him across the street from the Duane Reade—the very real drugstore, not the infinitely less real person—where there was a small, run-down, otherwise nondescript one-story diner. Though the street itself was dark, the front window of the building was lit by a blinking neon light that said one word: DINER. It looked like it hadn’t changed much, or been cleaned much, in half a century.
“Does that mean it’s a diner? Or that the name of the place is Diner?” Ridley stared up at it. “I don’t get it.”
“Marilyn’s Diner. Can’t you see where the rest of the neon’s blown out?”
She examined it more closely, but she could barely make out anything in the window. Now that he had transformed, the hybrid Incubus Link could see and hear things well beyond the abilities of a Mortal, or even a Caster.
“Anyway, I’m not talking about that. Look at this.” Link pointed to a wall on the side of the diner, the one that faced the corner of the intersection. It was a relatively average wall of brick covered with graffiti. Tagged words became abstract spray-painted shapes, swirling one into the next. A row of monsters. A sea of faces. Hands lining the ground like flowers.
And one word, arching over it all.
The lettering reminded Ridley of something, but she couldn’t recall exactly what. The name was familiar, or maybe just the artwork. “It’s like those paintings by that one guy. You know, in the museums in Paris, or Spain.”