Buy Me, Sir

“Me?!” I gasp. “But I–”

“You,” Janet says. “Just as well you’re an exceptionally thorough polisher, Miss Martin, otherwise you’d be out on your ear.”

“I don’t understand…” I start, and Janet rolls her eyes at me.

“You impressed him. Lord knows why after you bulldozed in on him like an incompetent ass.”

Sonnie hides her disappointment well. “Congratulations, honey,” she says.

I hate myself for Sonnie, but I adore Alexander Henley right now, even more than I did before.

“Thanks,” I say. “You should really have the position, you’re miles better than me,” I offer, and Sonnie nods. So does Janet.

“Guess it was your lucky day.” Sonnie smiles and shrugs, and I feel even worse, because she’s so nice, and competent, unlike me.

“You’ll be taking floor eighteen, Miss Webber,” Janet says.

Thank God for small mercies. At least she’ll still get to sniff his seat. But I don’t think I’ll win any favours by pointing that out to her.

Janet hands over the paperwork, the lanyard and the keys. I take them so gently. The Holy Grail. His actual house keys, the real thing.

“Cindy will need to show you the ropes,” she says. “You’ll be shadowing her for the next few days, and then she’ll be moving on.”

I thought we had weeks before Cindy left, but apparently Janet has other plans. Or maybe Mr Henley does.

I stop right there. Mr Henley liked my polishing. That’s all. A lucky day, just like Sonnie said.

We’re dismissed before I can say anything else, and I’m burning up, feeling quite sick as Sonnie and I make our way downstairs.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I thought she’d fire me. I had no idea.”

“Ah well.” She shrugs. “Guess the best scrubber won in the end.”

But they didn’t. She smiles anyway.

“I expect a full report, by the way. I want to know everything, like what his sheets smell like, if his toilet has skids in it, if he uses a sock to jerk off. Everything.”

I laugh. “Everything,” I repeat. “You know it.”

She slaps my arm as we reach the exit. “I’m actually glad you won,” she tells me. “I’m pretty hot on the guy, but you… well… you’re a whole load more batshit than I am.”

I laugh again. “You got that right.”

“We did it together,” she says. “Remember that. We put our minds to it and we did it. You just keep on doing it.”

In my mind’s eye, I see myself scrubbing his toilet. See myself sorting his dirty laundry. See myself using his toothbrush. See myself rolling naked on his bed. See myself…

Sonnie grabs hold of my hands. “Girl, I have something for you.”

She leans in really close, her mouth right to my ear. “Ask Cindy about Harley’s Tavern. You want your man, you gotta get in there. Whatever it takes. You got it? You ask Cindy, she’ll tell you, but don’t say it came from me, alright? Janet told her I was likely getting the job, she filled me in on a few things…” She winks. “Private things. Private Henley-related things.”

She’s already on her way before I can ask any questions, so I blurt out the obvious one. “What’s Harley’s Tavern?!”

She freezes, spins back to face me and flaps her arms around like I’m being a clumsy idiot all over again.

“Jeez, girl, you gonna have to learn to button it if you want to keep this gig!”

“Okay,” I say quietly, “tell me more. What private things?”

She taps her nose, gives me a wink, “You’ll see.”Harley’s Tavern is an old style pub north of the city. Dean looks it up on his phone for me while I make us a hot drink.

“What’s so special about the place?” he asks. “Looks pretty regular to me.”

“I have literally no idea, Sonnie said to ask Cindy.”

“Henley’s old cleaner?”

I nod.

“Maybe he takes his chicks there before he offs them.” He laughs, but I don’t. He holds my new keys up to the light. “Looks like he’s got some helluva lot of security going on.”

I stir my coffee, bouncing Joe on my hip as he sings wheels on the bus. “You’d hope so. I’m sure he’s got plenty worth stealing.”

“And plenty of secrets worth hiding.” He smiles. “Well done, Lissa. You did it. I knew you would.”

“I got lucky.”

He shrugs. “Wasn’t luck that polished that table up. Wasn’t luck that got you promoted up there in the first place.”

“Was luck that he cared enough not to fire my idiot ass.”

The paperwork is still sitting on the worktop, detailing both my pay rise and the insanely intimidating non-disclosure agreement.

Dean sifts through it. “This is pretty hardcore.”

“He’s pretty hardcore.”

“Dangerous, like I said. This stuff is like a military secrets act.”

“He’s a lawyer.”

“With a lot to hide from the sounds of it, I’m not talking client confidentiality either.”

I pull a funny face at Joe and he laughs, and then he wants down to watch some clowns singing songs on the TV in the living room.