Poison

“Sure we can’t head back to the house and get you into some wellies?” I paused. “Or even into town to get you some?”

She shook her head pretty sharp at that. “No, thanks. I’ll manage just fine.”

Once again she was being insanely optimistic, but she always had been a stubborn little minx, so I let her be. We kept going, mud turning to grass but still squelching underfoot. She breathed deep and commented on the view all the way, at the surrounding hills, and the woodlands and the villages down below.

It gave me an appreciation of it all through fresh eyes, and it was a powerful thing, gaining that sense of life around a place I loved so much but saw so often.

I knew we were coming to the swampy ascent before we reached it. I told her we could turn around, but she ploughed on regardless, heels already caked in mud. Bill and Ted were waiting for us at the top, and they were covered in mud too, tongues lolling excited as they leapt around and watched us approach.

“We can stop,” I said again, but she shook her head again.

“I can do it, I’ll be careful.”

She started laughing as she took her first step into the heart of it. Her heel sank in deep and squelched loud, her teeter becoming a slippery stumble before I reached out and grabbed her steady.

I adored the giggle that came out of her. “It seems your idea of mud and mine are two very different things.”

I was laughing along with her. “Maybe bring your wellies next time.”

Her eyes were straight on mine. “Next time? That’s not focusing on the present.”

“Cut it out,” I said. “There will be a next time. I’ll have you slopping around this path in better footwear, just like I’ll be taking your ass on the kitchen floor all over again.”

She didn’t argue, just took another tentative step into the mud bath. I kept hold of her arm, but I was squelching too. I’m not sure whether it was the mud or the laughter that made me slide around alongside her, and I didn’t care. It was absolutely fucking hilarious to watch her drowning in my coat, with the sleeves too long for her, while trying to navigate a ridiculous footpath in ridiculous heels.

“Stop it,” she said, but she was laughing as hard as I was, pausing with her feet buried deep in a puddle with her legs splattered brown. “We’ll both go flying if we don’t get a grip.”

Fuck my life, I felt like me as I watched her being her, right there in that moment. It was magic. Magic and stupid giggles and the wind in our faces.

We were only about halfway up the bank when she slipped a whole load harder and dragged me back a few steps along with her. I managed to keep my balance, and enough steadiness to keep her upright, but it was a losing battle and we both knew it.

“Back down?” I asked, but she was shaking her head as she laughed.

“I’m pretty sure back down is going to be even harder than the way up.”

“I’d carry you if I wasn’t certain I’d go tumbling with the both of us.”

“Can you even begin to imagine how hard we’d go tumbling?” she asked, and she was doubled up at that, pissing herself laughing so hard it was the most contagious thing in the world.

Another few steps and she tried to keep to the side of the track, but it was too steep. She slid back into the depths, but her legs slipped wider and she braced herself for the fall. I made a grab for her waist, and I thought I had her, but then Ted sealed the deal by racing on down.

What a fluffy little prick.

I shouted him to stop but the wagging, barking idiot goofed right on up, skidding close enough that Anna recoiled a step backwards.

Backwards down a particularly squelchy divot in the path.

Backwards down a slurp, and a slip and a tumble that moved in slow motion, her heels finally bailing out of the climb and bailing her legs out with them.

I watched the scene unfold, arms flailing, hands reaching out and closing on air, and down she went, slapping down onto her front with her tits into a slop of a puddle, and it was classic.

So classic that I couldn’t breathe for the laughter, and she was struggling too, laughing so hard she had to roll onto her back, caking herself even further in the brown gloop.

She was hilariously beautiful and her eyes were sparkling with so much fun it would have taken my breath, even if the laughter wasn’t already on the case. I stepped back down to her and reached for her hands and braced myself to pull her to her feet. But it was too much. Too much and too damn stupid for the both of us.