Hello Stranger

Dr Hall’s hand didn’t move from my arm, and I felt the gesture so hard. But still, I couldn’t stop the tears. I couldn’t stop how raw and ragged I felt rocking on that chair, hurting so badly for the Hadleys.

I tried get a grip of myself. I tried to tell Dr Hall I’d be ok, and to leave me to cry, but I couldn’t.

My eyes met his and they held, fixing hard, even through the tears.

His eyes held right back.

Fixing hard.

So hard and so steady.

And more.

There was more.

Everything stopped. Right then in that moment, everything stopped.

There was barely a breath moving in either of us as his arms reached out and pulled me close.

I folded into him, pressing tight, and it was there. Just as I’d dreamed it would be. Just as I’d asked for, but better. Better than I’d ever believed it could be as he held my body close to his.

His warmth was against me. His chest was firm. Strong.

His breaths were hot against my forehead, and his arms were so solid and so right.

So him.

“It’s ok, Chloe,” he said again, and this time, in his arms, I believed him.

My sobs settled into cries, and my gulps settled into gasps, and he was holding me. Holding me so tight.

Nothing had ever felt more right in my life than those long moments my chest was pressed to his. His heartbeat so steady against mine. His voice so strong, but so gentle.

“That’s it,” he encouraged. “Steady breaths.”

I calmed so naturally, held so safe.

I’d never belonged anywhere like I belonged in his arms, and I knew it. I felt it with every single scrap of my soul.

So much warmth in that touch. Warmth, and calm, and life.

The moments were magic beyond any words, until the spell was broken.

Romi came in through the door.

It was me who pulled away in that flash, jolting back from Dr Hall like some kind of guilty teenager and wiping my tears and snot away on my sleeve.

Romi looked shocked at both of us, but hid it quickly. She dropped down close alongside me as Dr Hall got to his feet and straightened his tie.

“Hey, sweetheart, how are you doing?” she said, and I managed a nod and a smile.

Still, my eyes were focused on Dr Hall as he backed away.

Still, his eyes were focused on mine, every step that he took, and then he did it.

He bit his lip at the corner, just like Gina told me, and I felt it. I felt it so much.

“Thanks,” I said. “Thanks so much for that, Dr Hall. For your help.”

But he didn’t hear me. He was already through the door.19LoganIt stayed. That insanity of closeness with that beautiful girl and her beautiful heart was too strong to let go.

I felt it right through me as I walked through the ward back to the Hadleys and their devastation, and it didn’t leave me.

It wouldn’t leave me.

I did my best for my patients as I went about my work, but I left the hospital as early as I could that day. I headed to the train station with that feeling of human touch burning deep, and I craved it. Craved the way she felt in my arms, her fragile frame shivering, her hold so tight. I craved it with everything I had.

I let myself in at home, and my legs felt unsteady as I headed into Mum’s bedroom. Her petals were still holding, and her eyes flickered open as that smile of hers bloomed bright.

She reached out for my hand as Olivia finished up with her dinner tray, and I sat with her, squeezing her hand right back.

She knew something was different. Mother’s instinct, I imagine. Felt it screaming out through my silence.

Olivia said her goodbyes and I gave her my thanks and Mum gave her wave, and still Mum’s hand was holding tight.

“What happened with you today?” she asked me, and her eyes were intent, searching.

I didn’t bother shrugging, or trying to bluster out my usual daily rundown. I just sat there next to her without saying a word, and that was enough for long minutes.

The crossword stayed on the bedside table, and her oxygen kept on rasping, both of us enjoying that simple contact in the lamplight.

But my heart craved more. For the first time in years, I needed more.

I needed that girl.

“You can talk to me, you know,” Mum said when I looked away.

“I know,” I said, and I did know.

I’d been able to talk to her about anything and everything, ever since I was old enough to speak. Yet still, I held my crazy fixation on that beautiful girl back from her. Most likely because I was still trying my damnedest to hold it back from myself.

“I’m going to be gone soon,” she said, and I took a breath. “I’m going to be gone soon, Logan, and I don’t want to leave you like this.”