Yes, she was batshit crazy on a batshit crazy morning and so was I.
I was smiling just as brightly as her when I pulled up in a lane, making sure to check her out for wellness before we went any further.
Her fingers fumbled in a flash, raising her visor enough to speak.
“YESSS! Fucking hell, yes!!!”
She grabbed my shoulders and crushed me in her arms as hard as she could manage.
“FUCK. Thank you, Logan. Thanks for being such a fucking star. You’re a star, Logan Hall! A fucking star!”
Oh, how my heart melted for her. But I couldn’t hold back from the truth. My words came out easily.
“It’s Chloe you have to thank for being a star,” I said.
“Yes, she is,” she replied. “So don’t you dare let her go, boy. Don’t you fucking dare.”
I twisted in my seat, and we sat there, visors raised as we smiled, and it was one of those moments you know is burying itself in your memories for all time. That shared connection between me and the woman who’d created me. The woman whose fragility didn’t ever hold her back. Whose fire was still alive in the ashes.
Unfortunately, that fire was fading, day by day.
As my eyes held hers, both of us fixed in that moment, I felt the little boy in me crying. Breaking at the knowledge that the woman who’d always been my light in the dark would be leaving me soon. It meant shit that I was a man now, strong in a world of cold hard rationale – my mum was dying in front of me, slowly, one precious day at a time.
My smile was tinged with pain, breaths choking up with hers as she nodded.
“I’ll be dying happy, Logan. So fucking happy.”
Jesus Christ, I didn’t want her to go.
I couldn’t speak, because my words would break in my throat. She didn’t push me, just rested her helmet against mine and held me tighter.
“I’m so glad I’m leaving you with a smile on your face, boy. So damn glad.”
I forced down the pain with a nod. “Stay as long as you can, Mum.”
She was exhausted as I rode us back home at a steady pace, arms weak as she held me. Her head was lolling against my shoulder as I pulled up on the driveway, barely stirring as Chloe shot out of the front door, beaming bright, camera already positioned for another shot.
Mum managed a thumbs-up as we helped her from the bike. She gave Chloe a thanks for being such a star with shallow breaths as we helped her upstairs and changed her back into her bed clothes.
We watched her sleep awhile, Chloe’s hand in mine, both of us gazing at Mum’s happy face as she sank into dreams.
“Your mum really is amazing,” Chloe told me, and I nodded.
“Yes, she is.”
She looked up at me. “Figures, since she produced such an amazing son.”
“I do love your compliments,” I laughed. “You’re an amazing creature yourself, Chloe.”
“Thanks,” she said, and even now her shyness showed, cheeks flushing pink.
I loved her like that.
Still, figures, as the girl would have said.
I loved her like her.33ChloeI couldn’t get enough.
By the time we left his mum sleeping my body was thrumming. It was about more than the darkness in his eyes, or the strength of his hands, or the way his mouth consumed mine so completely.
It was about him, as him. As Logan Hall.
It was about the passion in his smile, catching himself unawares at just how happy he was.
It was seeing the joy between him and his mum, both of them flying high as they pulled away from the drive that morning.
It was from feeling the want in his arms. In his touch. In his breaths.
It was from knowing this was the very best of how I could possibly feel for another human being. Because it was. There was no way my soul could be dancing through the clouds higher than it was that night.
We went for coffee downstairs, but we didn’t make it to the kitchen. We were pressed up tight in the hallway, my back against the wall as he slammed his body into mine.
My kiss was ready, his was rough and deep.
I loved it like that.
That’s I guess what led to that first tickle of knowing. That sneaky little dance inside that wanted more.
I wanted rough and deep. I wanted to lose myself to his touch. And he felt it. Holy fuck, he felt it.
He was ferocious as he tore me from the wall and marched me through to the living room. His hands were fierce as he ripped my t-shirt from my chest and yanked my bra down from my tits.
He pushed me down into the armchair and dropped on top and I was his, lost to everything on earth but the way he wanted to use me.