Her laugh was a weak cackle, but it was still the Jackie Hall cackle I loved. “Oh yeah, darling, I sure know that by now.”
“Once we start talking I never want us to shut up,” I giggled back. “I’ll be up another few days straight if we get in the flow.”
“Good,” she said. “Because I’ve got some things I want to say to you.”
I felt that strange little tickle you get in your stomach when you know something important is coming. Because it was coming. That importance was shining right through her eyes from her soul.
“There’s some things I want you to know,” she said. “Some little snippets of wisdom from a wise old crow like me, I’d like to share with you.”
I bet they’d be a whole load more than snippets of wisdom. I’d known that from the very first moment I met her, just a few short weeks ago. Hell, it felt like a whole load longer than that. It felt like I’d known her my whole life.
She looked me right in the eyes and cleared her throat.
And then, wise old crow, Jackie Hall, started talking.41Chloe“You know what, Chloe darling? There is a lot I’ve learnt in this frail body with a sharp mind still working. Now I’m at the end of my road, I want to share the workings of my sharp old mind with your sharp young one.”
I got a flush of shivers even thinking about it. I could see it in her eyes, a lifetime of wisdom right there for taking hold of and grabbing tight. I wanted this. I wanted to hear everything she had to tell me and carry it with me for the rest of my life.
I pulled my chair up even closer. “Please tell me everything. I’d love to know.”
Her smile was magnificent. She took as deep a breath as she could.
“You know what, poppet? The most important thing I’ve ever learnt, from the highs and lows and peaks and troughs? Positive mental attitude. If I could put it in a bottle, I’d spend the rest of my days walking around and giving it to people.” She laughed. “Not that I have any days left ahead of me to dish it out.”
I didn’t do the socially awkward thing of trying to brush it off, saying that she had loads of time left, because both of us knew she didn’t. Both of us knew this was the end.
She smiled at me and carried on.
“You look around you and see so clearly that people stress too much. Almost everyone has a big pile of crap they churn over day after day. It’s normal. Only it doesn’t have to be.” She paused. “People resign themselves to be a product of what has happened to them without realising that they have a choice of who to be in any given moment. Change takes an instant.” Another pause as she rasped in her breaths. “My journey has taught me to use my energy in a positive way. Don’t angst, don’t stress and don’t worry. The shit that’s going to happen is going to happen anyway.”
I smiled at her. “I get it. The whole big pile of crap thing. I hear it all the time, see it all the time.” I tipped my head. “I’m sure some of the time I get caught up in it myself too.”
“You’re a positive little soul,” she told me. “Just make sure you keep hold of that. No matter what happens, sweetheart, you keep hold of that. It makes you who you are.”
I nodded. “People tell me I’m an overly positive little soul. They roll their eyes and say my glass is always full, no matter how shit the horizon looks.”
“Having your glass full is the winner, Chloe. My life and journey has taught me to enjoy everything, not just the chosen moments. And this isn’t from some New Age floaty book, this is from learning the hard way.” Her eyes twinkled. “All the miniscule things have huge power. It’s the tiny things that we need to appreciate, all day, every day. And if things go crap and need sorting, they need sorting. No looking back and dwelling on the past. No blaming things for what’s happened. You just do it. Done. Dusted. Move on.”
She raised her hands to illustrate, and I felt it. The genuine burst of knowledge in her.
I nodded and she continued.
“That’s also what my journey’s taught me – take life as it comes. It will come, it will come. Take life as it comes and don’t give up on you. On what you can do.”
I could picture her through the years. I could see her always pushing herself. Always doing her best. Always being Jackie Hall and everything Jackie Hall stood for.
She smiled, to herself this time as much as at me.