“This is it,” I say.
“Nice neighborhood.”
“I’m sure it’s not as nice as your hotel room.”
He leans closer, tilting my chin up toward him. My heart’s beating hard in my chest. “You’d be surprised.”
“You’re going to try and come up, aren’t you?”
He smirks and leans in. I kiss him, softly at first, before the hunger takes us both over. I suck in a breath through my nose and taste him in my mouth, his body pressed hard against mine.
We break apart. “Would that be so bad?” he whispers.
“I mean… I don’t…” I turn away from him suddenly. I unlock the door and step in. “Look, I shouldn’t. I just… okay?”
He laughs at me. I feel so awkward and stupid. I’m fumbling for words but not finding any.
I wish I could explain. I wish I could just tell him who I am and what I’m doing, but I don’t know if I can trust him.
I want to trust him. He’s so handsome, so gorgeous, so funny. He makes me feel something I didn’t know I could feel.
But he’s the enemy. And I’m a spy.
“Good night then,” he says. “I’ll see you Monday.”
“Right. Monday.”
He laughs a little and lingers there before turning and leaving. I shut the door and lean up against it, breathing hard.
I’m so stupid. So, so stupid. I never should’ve gone out with that man. I never should’ve let myself feel this, fall for this.
But here I am, making such a dumb mistake.
I wanted to invite him up. Every inch of me wanted to invite him up. I know what he could do to me if I just let him into my world. But I’m too afraid. I’m afraid of lying to him and I’m afraid of what it’ll mean if I let myself go even further.
I want it so badly. But I’m so afraid of it.
And I have no clue how to get out of this mess.6JacobMonday rolls around and I’m weirdly excited.
I mean, I guess it’s not that weird. The office is full of people for the first time since I came to the city. We’re not fully staffed yet, but we’re getting there.
“How’s it going?” Aimee asks me.
“So far, so good. We’re onboarding people as fast as we can.”
“It’s chaos out there.”
I laugh and looked past her. She’s right, the cubes are chaos as people get to know each other and get settled. “It’ll even out sooner or later.”
“Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“Thanks.”
She stands and smiles, lingering for a second, then leaves. I frown a little bit, watching her go. She was recommended by Darin, someone he said he knew from the city. She’s fine, nothing special. She keeps me organized and does a good job out front. But she has this weird sort of entitled attitude that I can’t quite figure out.
Doesn’t matter. I lean back in my chair and stare at the bullpen, at the cube farm.
At my cube farm.
I know it’s only a satellite office, but I’m proud of what I’m building. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again here. I’ll build this office into something that’ll rival the main office, and soon we’ll have branches all over the country.
I stand and walk to the window. There’s only one thing that’s bothering me. I spot her right away, sitting in a cube not far from my office. Val’s looking at her email, shifting side to side on her chair. She almost looks nervous. She hasn’t said anything to me since she came in this morning and I haven’t gone out of my way to talk to her just yet. I’ve been letting her handle all her stuff.
But I’m itching to hear her voice. I’m itching to see her, touch her. She’s one of only two other women in the office, and one of those women is Aimee. I want to make sure she’s doing okay. Our conversation at dinner about sexism in the financial industry has me thinking about all the instances of it that I’ve seen over the years.
I want that to change. At least in my office.
“Fuck it,” I grumble to myself. I head back to my desk and buzz Aimee. “Send Val in here, please.”
She hesitates. “Sure, right away.”
I sit back and wait as Aimee goes over to Val’s desk. She points at me and Val’s gaze turns in my direction. She smiles a little and gets up, nodding at Aimee. Val walks into my office.
“Shut the door,” I say.
She shuts it behind her. “Is something wrong?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Sit.”
She walks over and sits down.
“I just wanted to see how you were fitting in.”
She looks relieved. “Oh. I’m doing great so far.”
“Not much to do, right?”
“Right.” She laughs nervously. “But that won’t last.”
“Hopefully.” I glance down at the papers in front of me. “We have a few prospective clients already in the city. I think Darin will have more for us soon.”