“I definitely won’t,” she says, but she’s smiling a little. “I don’t know.”
“Come on. Just lunch. I’m paying. You can pick the place.”
She goes to say something but stops herself as the door to the office opens and a man steps out. She steps away from me like I’m made of radioactive uranium or something as his gaze takes us in.
He’s an older guy, wrinkled and grizzled, I’d guess he’s in his sixties. He’s tan as hell, almost too tan, and his hair’s pushed back in this enormous dyed-black mess. He’s wearing casual clothes, jeans and an untucked denim shirt that’s tastefully faded all around his elbows. He looks like some aging rocker that just can’t let go of the glory days.
“Dad,” Klara says, and it’s my turn to snort.
He looks right at me and nods. “Who’s this?” he asks. His voice slurs just a tiny bit.
“This is, uh, Shaun,” she says. “A friend.”
“A friend.” He steps forward, hand out. “Nice to meet you, Shaun.”
I take his hand and get a nose full of alcohol on his breath. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Funk. I love Divas in Space.”
He grins. I knew he’d like that. “Call me Aldo,” he says. “Mr. Funk was my dad.” We stop shaking and he laughs like he just made some great joke. Klara looks absolutely mortified and I can’t help but love it. “So Shaun, I hear you’re dating my daughter.”
“No!” Klara says. “Jesus, Dad. Who told you that?”
“Lucy,” he says. “She overheard you two.”
“I assume Lucy is the blonde girl inside?” I ask.
Aldo nods. “Blonde girl is putting it mildly. I mean, you saw the cans on her, right? Big and just—”
“Dad,” Klara says. “Stop it. We’ve talked about this.”
“Okay, okay,” he says, putting up his hands. “I get it. Different times. Can’t talk about a broad’s big tits anymore, right, Shaun?”
I give him a withering smile. “Sure.”
“Anyway, she said you two are dating. Is that true, son? Are you dating my beautiful daughter here?”
I grin and nod the affirmative but Klara speaks up.
“We’re not dating,” she says. “And please tell Lucy to stop spreading rumors.”
“Okay, okay,” Aldo says and laughs. “Looks like you two have some things to discuss, huh?”
“I think we do,” I say. “I have a feeling your daughter’s trying to break my heart.”
He laughs, deep and loud. Klara looks like she wants to murder both of us, and I grin along with him.
The man is skeevy and slimy, but he’s still her father. I’ll charm him, at least enough to get him on my side. Beyond that, if I never have to see this man again in my life, that would be perfect.
Any guy using the word “broads” to refer to women should have to serve at least a year under house arrest. “Dames” gets three.
“There’s no heart to break,” she says, which only delights her father more.
He lingers there and doesn’t seem like he plans on leaving any time soon. Obviously, this is some pretty good entertainment for him, which makes sense. He runs a reality TV production company, after all.
“Let’s get going before you decide to break off the engagement too,” I say to Klara.
She snorts and shakes her head. “You’re impossible.”
“I know. I really am.”
“Oh, go on, honey,” Aldo says. “The guy’s throwing himself at you right now. And he’s handsome. You might as well have a nice lunch.”
She shoots daggers at her father but turns to me. “Fine. We’re going to Chico’s and I’m buying the most expensive thing on the menu.”
“Buy it twice,” I say and nod to her father. “You want anything? We can bring you something back.”
“I’ll text her my order,” he says. “Have fun, kids.” He turns and heads back inside.
I watch him go then look back at her. “Charming,” I say.
She sighs and rubs her eyes. “I know, he’s a delight.”
“So that’s your dad, huh.”
“I know.” She gives me a look. “I’m not like him.”
“I don’t think you are.” I gesture at the parking lot. “Shall we?”
“I never agreed to this, you know,” she grumbles. “Well, I did, but I don’t know how.”
“You’re utterly charmed by me and can’t help yourself,” I say.
“Must be it.” She slips me a little smile and shakes her head.
I’m grinning the whole way over to my car.5KlaraChico’s is a small Mexican place around the corner from our office. It’s owned by a nice old woman and her husband, although the husband mostly sits at the bar and drinks tequila. The hostess is a bored teenager and barely glances at us before giving us a booth in the back corner.
Shaun slides into the seat across from me and looks around. “Nice place.”
“I know, it’s not much. But I like it here.”
“No, I’m serious. I like little places like this. They always have the best food.”