Mother glares at the crumbs but doesn’t say anything. She knows I’m baiting her. We’ve been down this road too many times before and she’s learned her lessons the hard way.
“I mean, other families of our stature. Don’t make me spell it out, dear. You know perfectly well what I mean.”
“Oh, I get it. You want me to debut at the ball, right?”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“I’m not interested,” I say.
“I knew you wouldn’t be.” She leans toward me across the table. “But you’ve been sulking around the house for a week now and I’m wondering when you’re going to do something about your bad luck.”
I glare at her, anger rising. “It’s not just bad luck.”
“Oh, it’s not? So you mismanaged your store then?”
“No, I mean, I didn’t, I just—”
“You got unlucky,” Mother says. “I’ve been around this stuff a long time, dear, and I know how hard you worked to keep that store going. But this is the real turning point for you.”
“How’s that?” I ask and feel bitterness bite through me. I crumble the toast some more and watch it flake off.
“How you react to failure is just as important as how hard you work to achieve success. Everyone fails, dear, nobody goes through life with perfection. You need to get back up and try again.”
“I don’t have any money,” I say. “I put it all in that store.”
“You have money.” She arches an eyebrow at me. “You have plenty of money and you know it.”
I look down at the table. “My own money.”
“It’s your money, dear.”
“It’s the family’s money. I want to do this… on my own.”
Mother sighs and leans back in her chair. She looks up at the ceiling and closes her eyes for a moment, letting out a long breath. “Why must my children all be like this?” she says, her voice low. “You are all born with such privilege and yet you all work so hard to ignore it. Why can’t you just accept what you are and try to do something with it?”
“Because it’s not earned,” I say.
“No, but you can earn something with it.” She looks at me and shrugs. “Suit yourself either way, darling. I still think you should come to some social events. I could introduce you to plenty of young, handsome men.”
I glare at her. “Drop it.”
“Fine.” She pushes back and stands up. “Just don’t get pregnant, please.”
She turns to leave but I practically choke on my bite of toast. “Wait, what? Huh?”
She glances back at me with a smile on her lips. “Pregnant, dear. Don’t get pregnant. It’ll be such a problem.”
“Problem… pregnant… what the hell, Mom?”
She laughs and leaves the room, waving as she goes. I’m tempted to jump up and run after her but I hold myself back. She did that to bait me, just like I made a mess with my toast to bait her. I grumble to myself and clean up then eat a proper breakfast.
I know she’s right about some of that. I hate to admit it, but my mother is an incredibly intelligent woman. If I listened to half of what she told me in my life, I’d probably be better off than I am now.
But that’s the curse of being a child. It’s hard to listen to your parents.
I spend the rest of the day with Lora down by the pool. I mention that weird little pregnancy comment and she snorts.
“Mom’s messing with you,” she says.
“I know that. But why pregnant?”
“Probably noticed the way you’re mooning after Max.”
I glare at her. “I don’t moon.”
“You’re mooning, dear sister.”
“I’m not. He’s handsome, and I like him, and we kissed, but—”
She sits up straight. “Hold up. What?”
I blush and watch an inflatable giraffe float on the water. “I had dinner at his cabin the other night and we kissed.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
“I’m telling you now.”
“Holy crap, Del. I’ve just been joking about this Max stuff, but you’re really into that guy, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “He’s handsome and funny, but I don’t know.”
“Wow.” She laughs and leans back. “Crazy.”
“Why is that crazy?” I glance at her and bite my lip. “I mean, it’s not that crazy.”
“No, I guess. I’ve just never seen you into a guy before.”
“That’s not true.” I think back and try to come up with a good example, but find it difficult to think of something. “I’ve liked guys.”
“Please. You’ve been too busy working to date. It’s not a big deal, don’t get me wrong, Del. I’m just saying, this is a new thing.”
I know she’s right. I lean back and close my eyes. I’ve been so busy with my store that I haven’t dated at all in a long time.
The thing is, I don’t know if I’m dating Max or if that’s even what I want from him. When we’re together, I want to throw myself at him and rip off my clothes, but that doesn’t mean I want to be his girlfriend. It’s complicated and sticky and dirty, and I think I like it that way. I’m not sure I really want to make things more solid.