The best thing in these situations is to be honest. I owe him that much, at least.
I keep a straight face. I don’t act like this is awkward. I don’t act like this hurts me. I give it to them straight.
“Everyone, unfortunately, it’s come to my attention that our current track is unfeasible. We can’t keep going forward with the current system. I took yesterday to double-check and test everything, and I tried just about every possible scenario, but nothing works. We’re going to need to give up on what we’ve done and begin again.”
They stare at me. Alan looks confused, Parker looks shocked, and Coop…
Well, Coop looks hungry.
But it’s Howard that I pay attention to. Howard’s staring at me like he can barely believe what I just said.
“Wait,” Howard finally says out loud, breaking the short silence. The guys stare at him, horrified. “Hold on. You’re saying… we’re giving up on the backwards implementation?”
“Correct,” I say. “I’m sorry. I know you guys worked hard, but it’s too taxing. It’s not getting us where we need to be.”
He blinks. “But it can work. I mean, I know we can make it work. The idea is sound.”
“Maybe,” I concede. “But not with our resources. I’m sorry, Howard.”
Howard leans back in his chair, looking shocked. “We’re giving up on my idea,” he says softly. “All that work, it’s all gone.”
“Not all gone,” I say. “We’ll reuse some of the old code. Some of the stuff you guys did will still be really useful, just not in the way we originally pictured.”
Howard sits there for a little bit. I let them take all that in.
Coop raises his hand.
“Yes, Coop?”
He clears his throat. “Ah, uh. Do we have enough time to start over? The semester’s ending, and, well…”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Coop. Unfortunately, you guys have gone as far as you’ll go.”
Howard’s hands slam down onto the desk. Clara jumps and I move toward her almost instinctively. Nobody seems to notice, since they’re all too busy staring at Howard.
His face is red when he looks at me.
“It’s a good idea,” he says. “It’s a goddamn good idea, but you’re giving up on it. I don’t understand why.” He looks at Clara. “This has to be your fault.”
“Howard,” I say, warning him.
He stands up. “She sabotaged me. She sabotaged me, god damnit.”
“No, I didn’t,” Clara snaps, and I wince. “You sabotaged yourself by not listening. I tried to tell you, but you blew me off.”
“You lying bitch!”
He takes a step like he’s going to dive between the computers, across the desk, and attack her.
I move faster. I walk right up to him and grab him by the arm.
“You’re out of here,” I say to him. “Do you hear me? Get out of my room.”
Howard looks shocked as I drag him to the door.
“I’m, uh, I’m sorry,” he says, but I push him out the door and into the hall.
“Get out of here,” I say. “You need to cool off. Clara didn’t do anything wrong. Hell, you didn’t do anything wrong either, until you acted like this. Go cool down.”
He hesitates in the hallway, glaring at me, but finally storms away.
I turn back into the room. I probably shouldn’t have touched Howard like that, but I think it was justified, given the situation.
Everyone looks shell-shocked. The guys are staring at Clara and she’s staring at the floor.
I sigh. “Okay, we’re done for the day,” I say to them.
Nobody moves.
“Go home,” I say again. “There’s nothing to be done today. We’ll finish some more later this week.”
Alan looks up at me. “But the conference?”
I blink. I forgot all about the fucking conference.
“I’m taking Clara and Howard,” I say, and stop as their eyes go wide. “Well, I was going to take Howard. Now I’m just taking Clara. You’re all dismissed.”
The guys hesitate but slowly they get up and filter out. I watch them go. Clara’s the last one in the room.
When the door shuts behind Coop, I stand and walk over to her. I throw my arms around her without a word, pulling her close to my chest.
She lets out a single sob.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” she says, clearly fighting tears. “I’m fine.”
“Listen, he just needs to calm down. It’ll be okay.”
“He was going to… I mean, the look on his face…”
“I know,” I say. “But it’s okay. It’s okay.” I kiss her softly, holding her tight.
And that’s when I hear the door shut.
I pull away from her. Howard’s standing there, his eyes wide.
“My stuff,” he says stupidly. “I need my stuff.”
I stand there awkwardly. He just fucking saw me kiss Clara.
Holy shit. He just saw me kiss Clara.
Howard moves first. He walks over to his computer, grabs his bag, and turns back to the door.
Before he leaves, he looks back at the two of us.