“Oh, shit.” She practically runs over to the supply closet and grabs him a roll. “Sorry. I totally forgot.”
“No problem.” He takes the athletic tape from her and nods at me, still grinning. “Coach.”
He leaves the room. I realize I never said anything.
I stand there, stunned. Leah looks at me, hands clenched.
“It’s okay,” she says softly. “It’s going to be okay. Sean’s a good person. I can… I’ll talk to him. It’ll be okay.”
I look at her slowly. I think all the color’s drained from my face. I feel horror, pure horror.
I’m so fucking stupid. I’ve put everything at risk, and not just myself. Leah could lose her job, too. If that had been Atlas…
He could crush her. She’d never work again. He could ruin her life.
All because I’m selfish and think I should be happy on top of successful.
She’s probably right. I bet Sean will listen to her. But it doesn’t matter.
That could’ve been Atlas, or someone less understanding. That could’ve been so much worse.
I’m being such a selfish bastard, and in this moment, I hate myself. I never have before, not even when I broke my leg and ruined my career. I never sunk to these depths before.
But thinking about hurting Leah, I despise myself. I’ve become weak, pathetic.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to say before leaving the room.
“Cole, wait,” she says, but I don’t turn back. I walk as fast as my aching leg will take me, and I don’t let myself hesitate.
No more weakness. I can’t afford it anymore.17LeahThe look on Cole’s face told me everything I needed to know.
The next day, I show up for practice like normal. I go through my normal routine, I help the guys I normally help, I do my job.
I don’t run into Cole. He doesn’t seek me out.
Although I do see Sean. He grins at me, winks a little bit.
Later, in the training room between sessions, I pull Sean away from the other guys. I make some excuse about checking his ankle.
“How’s it feeling?” I ask as I manipulate it.
“Not bad,” he says.
“Imaging came back clean, so there’s no break, just some swelling.”
“I’ll be good to go by the weekend.”
I nod. “I think so. Just don’t practice for a few days.”
“Understood.” He grins at me. “So, uh. I’m guessing you didn’t pull me away just to talk about my ankle.”
I grin bashfully at him. “Am I that obvious?”
“Yep.”
“Look, what you saw—”
He holds up a hand. “Let me stop you there. I didn’t see anything.”
I frown. “But, Cole and I—”
“I didn’t see anything,” he repeats. “And if I did, I assume it’s a consensual thing, and not because he’s your boss?” He raises an eyebrow quizzically.
I nod once. “Right.”
“Okay.” He looks relieved. “I didn’t think Coach was that kind of man, but…” He sighs, shakes his head. “Anyway, I didn’t see anything. Your secret’s safe with me.”
I sigh with relief. I don’t think Sean has any clue how much that means to me. “Thanks,” I say. “Really. That’s amazing.”
“No problem.” He grins again. “I thought I saw Coach looking at you yesterday, but I just figured…” He shrugs. “Whatever. Not my business.”
“You want to ask about it, don’t you?”
He hesitates, but nods.
“Go ahead.”
“How long?”
“Since preseason. Almost since this all started.”
“Huh.” He shakes his head. “Good for him.”
“Good for me, too.” I grin at the big football player.
“I get needing to keep it a secret. There are people in this business that wouldn’t be too happy about… you know. Coaches and staff having relations.”
“That’s what he said.”
“Right. So I didn’t see a thing. Just make sure you’re happy, and if you ever need anything…” He trails off again. “You know what I mean.”
“Thanks, Sean.”
“Sure.”
I gesture with my head. “Come on. Let’s get back.”
“Okay, cool.”
“And seriously, go easy on the ankle.”
He grins and salutes me. “Yes, sir.”
We head back into the main room where Tessa takes over poking and prodding at Sean while he tells her that he’s totally fine and I already cleared him. Not that Tessa gives a crap.
I drift between players, doing what I can. During the second session, I keep trying to meet Cole’s eye, but he never looks in my direction. It’s like he’s the opposite magnet, and all I do is repel him.
I know what he’s doing. He’s afraid of what Sean might say, but it’s fine. It’s totally fine. I can just tell him what Sean said and things can be okay.
After the session, I go back to work, taping ankles and mending minor cuts. When five rolls around, the place starts to clear out, and I’m left alone again, folding towels.
I wait almost two hours. At seven, I walk down to his office, reasonably sure nobody’s going to be around to notice me.
But he’s not there. It’s empty.
“Shit,” I say softly to myself.
I go home.
I come back the next day.