My heart leaps into my chest, beating fast. He never comes in here, at least not when I’m here. He never wants to get anywhere near me these days, it seems like.
“Everyone, out.”
The chatter stops completely. I stare at Cole. His eyes slowly rest on me.
“Everyone, get out. Except for you, Leah.”
Slowly, people start to get up. One of the trainers complains, but Cole just glares at her.
Felix throws me a look. “You in trouble?” he asks softly.
“I hope not,” I answer.
He smiles. “Good luck, badass.” He walks off, leaving the room.
After a minute, we’re alone.
I bite my lip, staring at him. He slowly walks toward me. I can’t help but notice that he’s limping now. Not badly, but enough for me to notice.
“I haven’t been fair to you,” he says softly.
I blink. “What?”
“I haven’t been fair,” he says again. “I’ve been blaming you. I’ve been afraid for you. And I took it out on you.” He stops in front of me, eyes sad and staring into mine. “For that, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I say weakly.
“No, it isn’t. When I decided not to talk to you, it… it was harder than I thought. A lot harder. I’ve been even more distracted, and it’s been showing.”
I take a breath. “You think that’s why you’ve been losing?”
“Part of it,” he admits. “I’ve been too busy wondering what you’re doing these last two weeks, and I let myself slip.”
“You don’t have to wonder. I’m just working.”
“I know.” He takes a breath and lets it out. “I wanted to protect you, do you get that?”
“Protect me from what?”
“From Atlas. From losing your job.” He steps even closer, deep into my personal space. “Do you know what it would mean if we were caught together?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “I don’t.”
“You’d be ridiculed. I’d be fired. We’d lose everything together, and I can’t risk that for you. Or at least I thought I couldn’t.”
My heart leaps into my throat. I think I understand what he’s saying, but…
I can’t get my hopes up.
I’ve come to grips with losing him. Not entirely, but enough to function at least. He’s still a hole in my heart, there every day, a strange yearning I can’t totally define.
Now he’s back, and he’s saying…
“I wanted to protect you, but I was being stupid,” he says. “I spoke with Atlas.”
“You did?” I blink. I feel like this is all coming at me so fast.
“I did,” he says. “I’m sorry, but I did. I told him that I’ve been with you, that we’ve been seeing each other.”
“Was he upset?”
“No,” he says. “Not at all. In fact, he told me to keep seeing you. He said he was fine with it.”
“He’s fine with it,” I repeat softly.
“I know, I was surprised too.” He stares at me, and I can tell he wants to reach out. His hand hovers for a second, but he drops it. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you.”
I turn away from him. It feels like ripping open a wound, but I have to do it. I can’t look at him for what I’m about to say.
“You hurt me,” I say, staring at the floor. “You hurt me and treated me like… like I mean nothing.”
“I was trying to push you away.” I can hear the pain in his voice.
It helps.
“I don’t need protecting. You want to be my Daddy? Fine, I want that too. But you can’t choose what’s right for me without speaking to me first.”
“I won’t. That was a mistake.” I feel his hand on my shoulder.
I turn back to him. I look up into his beautiful eyes. Deep, gorgeous pools of emotion lay beneath them. “Do you really want this?”
“I do,” he says. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Leah. I don’t want to walk away.”
“Then don’t.”
He kisses me then. I can feel the desire running down my spine, desire mixed with pure joy.
This is what I’ve been wanting, what I’ve been thinking about this whole time. I want him so badly it almost hurts.
But I’m afraid.
He could run away again. He could change his mind.
I opened myself to him, gave myself to him. I was ready to go further than I’ve ever gone before.
But he pushed me away, all because he was afraid.
I can’t let that happen again. If I’m going to do this, I need to know that he’s going to do it, too.
I break off the kiss, look into his eyes.
“No more games,” I say.
“No more,” he agrees. “We can’t go public, but we don’t have to sneak around either.”
I bite my lip. “That’ll have to be good enough, I guess.”
“Good.” He kisses me again, holds me tight. “I won’t push you away anymore. I promise.”
“Good.”
I can feel his heart beating, fast enough to match mine. I can feel the warmth coming off his body in waves. I hold him tight and don’t want to let go.