“What are we going to do? He needs a hospital. Leo—”
I stood up, held the Uzi out, and shot Pavel in the head.
Robin screamed.
I took the handkerchief and wiped my fingerprints off the gun. Once that was done, I dropped it down on Pavel’s chest.
“Sorry,” I said, my voice soft.
“Why did you do that?” Robin said through sobs. “Why did you kill him? He wasn’t dead. You just killed him, you just—”
I turned, grabbed her arm, and pulled her to my car. “Get in.”
“No.” She sobbed, tried to fight me.
“You want to end up like him? Get in the fucking car.”
She sucked in a hard breath then let me guide her into the passenger side.
I got behind the wheel and pulled out, driving fast away from Pavel’s dead body and our botched hit.10RobinI sat on the bed with my knees pulled up to my chest and stared at the bedspread. I took a shower as soon as we got back but even the scalding hot water couldn’t clean away the memory of Leo killing Pavel right there in front of me.
He knocked at the door. I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t think of what to say. He opened the door and leaned against the frame, arms crossed.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said.
“No, you don’t.”
“You think we could’ve saved him.”
“He wasn’t dead.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath. “But he would’ve been. We’re a decent crew, but we’re not a strong one yet. We don’t have a doctor on call that could’ve saved him. He needed major surgery. That would’ve meant a hospital. Maybe the Leones could’ve done it, or maybe the Volkovs in their prime, but we don’t have the resources.”
“So you just put him down like… like a dog?”
“Pavel knew what he got himself into.”
“He didn’t deserve that.”
Leo snorted. “You didn’t know Pavel. He wanted to kill you, remember?”
I frowned and looked away. “I remember. You don’t have to remind me.”
“Pavel was a piece of shit. If he’d listened to us, he’d be alive now. But he didn’t and now he’s fucking dead. I could’ve dragged his corpse back to Hedeon’s place, but then he would’ve just died there. Better to give him a quick death and be done with it. That’s what I would want.”
I stared at him and tried to make sense of everything. I felt like I could barely think straight. I’d seen him kill three men already, and it was slowly dawning on me that I was going to see him kill a lot more than that before this was all over.
If it would ever end.
He came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. I had the strangest desire to reach out and touch his back, to run my fingers down the curve of his spine, but I stopped myself.
“This isn’t how I wanted this to go,” he said. “I shouldn’t have brought you tonight. And I’m sorry for that.”
“How can you live like this?” I asked. “How can with live with it?”
He shook his head. “It gets easier. I’ve lost people before. Had to put people down that were suffering. It’s never easy, but it’s easier.”
“Don’t you feel anything?”
He looked at me, eyes hard. “It weighs on me. But I do what I have to do. For my family, for my crew. For those I care about.”
“Who do you care about? You don’t seem to care about anything except yourself.”
A flash of anger. It surprised me and I flinched away from it.
“I care about Hedeon,” he said. “I cared about Pavel in my own fucked-up way, even though he was a piece of shit. I care about the other guys in our crew, guys I’ve known for years, guys you might not ever meet. I care about you.”
“Me?” I laughed. “Why would you care about me? You don’t even know me.”
“I saved you twice. I’ll do it again if I have to.”
“But why? I don’t understand why you’re dragging me along.”
“You chose this, remember? I’m not dragging you anywhere.” He leaned toward me and I felt a sudden surge of rage.
“Like you gave me much choice.”
He laughed, bitter and harsh. He reached out and took my hair. I gasped as he pulled me closer to him. I felt his muscular arms and stared at his gorgeous lips as they parted and his tongue ran along their rim.
“You could’ve run,” he said. “You could’ve fought. Instead, you got angry, and you want revenge. Welcome to the real world, little birdie. Welcome to the game. Guys get killed in this, and you’re going to have to get used to it.”
I struggled. “Let me go.”
“Make me.”
I hit his chest. He just smirked.
“I’m not like you. It doesn’t just roll off my back.”
His grip tightened. “It doesn’t roll off mine. But I deal with it.”