I stared at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world. Because he probably was. But I guessed drug addicts weren’t all brilliant people, and felt a strange pang of anger.
“That’s what you paid for. Now get out of here.”
He took a step back, hesitated, then turned and left. The door swung closed behind him.
I sighed and rubbed my face.
I wondered if someone thought about my brother like that at some point. I could imagine Jason, his goofy half smile, his endearingly dirty hair, his rumpled shirts, standing in front of some drug dealer begging for a bundle of pills and looking surprised when he got a t-shirt instead. I had to lean against the counter and breathe deep to keep myself for getting emotional.
I was the drug dealer now.
The kid that just came into my shop could be someone’s brother. And they might find him dead in his room one day, just like I found Jason. The thought made my heart race and made my stomach twist into knots.
Owain was turning me into a drug dealer, and for a second I thought that might be worse than turning me into a whore.
A few normal customers came in over the next couple of hours. But just when I started to feel steady, a man wearing a suit with bright eyes and a too-eager smile pushed open the door and approached.
“I’m looking for the happiest shirt in the world,” he said.
“Sure. Stay there.” I went into the back, got his shirt, and came out again. He took it from me, frowned, stared, looked back up.
“What the fuck is this?”
“The shirt. Now get out.”
“I don’t want a shirt. I’m here for pills.”
I stared at him. “First of all, you don’t say that, you idiot. And second of all, look inside the shirt. Now get the hell out.”
He shoved his fist down the bundle and must’ve felt what he was hoping for, because a look of pure bliss spread across his face.
“Adios, pretty girl.” He stormed back out again.
I wanted to vomit.
But another guy came in a minute later. Long hair, light brown skin. And another, ten minutes after that, a guy with tattoos and a black tank top, and another. I handed out their shirts and fortunately none of them questioned it.
I was exhausted by the time I was ready to close. I hoped Owain would show up soon, because I wanted to get back to his house, hide under the covers, and cry until I threw up. Maybe I’d take a shower so hot it melted off my skin, but I doubted I’d ever feel clean again.
I prepared to go lock the door when two guys came in. I frowned at them as they looked around the shop. Each was dressed in dark denim. One was tall, broad, and wore sunglasses even inside. He had a thick beard and biceps the size of my head. The other was shorter, thinner, with a gaunt face and a missing front tooth.
“Hey girl,” Sunglasses said. “I’m looking for something.”
“We have lots of shirts,” I said, gesturing at the wall.
Tooth walked over and grabbed one. “Huh, looking at this. Eat My Shorts. Like from the Simpsons?”
“Put that back,” Sunglasses said.
Tooth threw the shirt on the ground.
“Uh,” I said. “Sorry, would you mind putting it on the shelf?”
“Would you mind fucking off?” Tooth sneered at me like he wanted to show off his gap. “Listen to this bitch.”
“We aren’t here looking for shirts,” Sunglasses said. “We’re here looking for something else. Something you probably don’t want to admit you got.”
My heart started racing. I walked backwards toward the counter as my mind raced. I didn’t know what to do if these guys got violent or aggressive with me. They were both way bigger and stronger, and I had a feeling they were used to hurting anyone that got in their way.
Owain didn’t prep me for this.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Sure you do.” Sunglasses pulled out a fist full of shirts and dropped them on the ground. Tooth laughed and started yanking out more shirts, throwing them onto the couches. “I know Owain’s been coming here. Seen him more than a few times.”
“Who?” I asked, desperation taking over.
“Come on, girl. Don’t fuck around here.” Sunglasses walked over and leaned up against the counter.
Tooth kept ripping out shirts and laughing with delight. They piled up on the floor in all different colors, a small mountain of laundry.
It would take all day to fold and restock them.
Then again, I wasn’t sure I was going to survive this moment.
“I’m not playing around. I don’t know who you mean.”
Sunglasses sighed and shook his head. “Listen girl. I been following Owain around for months. Then he starts coming here, dropping you off, and some of his fellas bring some boxes into your back room. Yeah, we saw that, so we know they’re back there. I’m trying to do this all civil like, but if you keep playin’ dumb then there’s gonna be trouble.”