I sat on the couch and stared at my hands before finding the laptop. I needed to get a flight, and book an appointment in a chapel, and find a good spot to buy some rings, and book a room at a hotel. I felt oddly excited as I got to work.8EricaWe flew first class, and I knew he did it just to impress me—and I hated to admit that it worked. Still, we had a drink of champagne once the plane was in the air, then I leaned back and closed my eyes and pretended to sleep the whole way to Vegas. He didn’t complain and killed time reading for the most part.
We landed, disembarked, and got a cab to the Bellagio. I drifted along behind Gavin as he strode up to the front desk and checked us in. I couldn’t help but stare all around me, at the people crowding around on the sidewalks outside, people talking and laughing, young and old, women in tiny outfits, men in expensive suits, and the hotel itself—grand was putting it mildly. The lobby had marble floors and this strange, wild installation of multi-colored umbrellas over a large space covered by a red rug. There were archways, plants, and lavish lighting fixtures—everything designed to be as expensive and as inviting as possible.
Gavin took us up toward the top of the building and unlocked a room in the corner. It was sumptuous, with a single, large queen bed, a couple of couches, a blue patterned rug, and an enormous window overlooking the city. I walked over and looked outside, staring down at the lights, at the cars moving slowly along the streets, and I had a sudden and intense moment as I realized that I’d never been outside of Philadelphia before—and now, suddenly, I was in the middle of the desert in this strange place, this wild and foreign place of lights and action and motion, so much motion.
“You okay?” he asked as he dropped his bag on the floor. “If it’s the bed situation, sorry about that. I thought about getting two twins but figured that’d look weird.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “No, it’s not that.”
“Right, well, if you’re having second thoughts—”
I waved a hand at him. “It’s not that, either.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed. “Good, because I’m looking forward to marrying you.”
I laughed and turned to him, shaking my head. “Why the hell would you feel that way? I’m going to be so much trouble, you realize that, right?”
“I know,” he said softly, “but I guess I’m a sucker for troubled girls.”
I laughed again, shaking my head. “What a fucking line.”
He spread his hands. “It’s the truth.”
I stared at him and tried to muster up as much anger as I could, because I didn’t want to be sucked into his charm, but I found I couldn’t quite manage to hate him, not when he’d gone out of his way to help me. I chewed on my lip and moved from foot to foot as he watched me.
“I’ve never been out of the city before, okay?”
He frowned a little. “Really?”
“We didn’t exactly have a lot of money growing up so we never went on vacation. We visited the shore for day trips a few times, but that doesn’t count. This is the first time I’ve been, you know, away from that.”
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know how it feels.” I turned back to the window. I heard him stand up and come near me, saw his reflection in the window. “So much is happening and I think I’m barely managing to keep up.”
“You’re treading water. I get that.”
“It’s more like I’m halfway under and about to sink the rest of the way.”
He came to me and stood just behind me. His hands rested on my hips and I wanted to whip around and tell him to fuck off—but his touch felt good, and I took an involuntary step back. I pressed myself against him, and he hugged me from behind. I felt his breath on my neck and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to cry more, but god, his touch felt so good. I needed the comfort, needed it so much more than I liked to admit.
“I won’t let you drown,” he said in my ear. “I promise. That’s what this is all about. I’ll keep you afloat.”
“You’ll try, but I’m not sure—”
“I won’t let you drown.” His voice was harder, and I wanted to believe him.
We stayed like that for a few more seconds until I pulled away. He watched me carefully as I slipped past. “When are we getting married?” I asked, wiping my face again and heading to the bathroom.
“Couple hours. I need to head out for a bit though.”
I paused and looked back. “Where are you going?”