“It’s great.” She looked around, eyebrows raised. “I mean, just a lovely place.”
I laughed and patted the wall next to me. “Come over here.”
She hesitated, but sighed and reluctantly joined me. I put an arm around her shoulder, and she didn’t pull away like I expected. We stood there in silence for a minute, and I leaned my head against the wall, feeling the brick against my scalp. I stared upward at the moon reflecting off the windows, and felt dizzy, like I was falling somehow, tumbling head over heels next to the glass, flashing past the people inside their rooms—flashing past people living their individual lives separated by walls and doors and time.
“What was wrong in there?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Nothing. What do you mean?”
“I could tell you started to get a little overwhelmed.”
She let out a breath. “I tried not to show it.”
“And you did fine. I think I’m starting to know you a little bit better, is all.”
She smiled and shook her head. “I guess you are.”
“So come on. Tell me what’s up.”
She took a deep breath like she had something heavy on her chest and slowly let it out. “I don’t belong in a place like this.”
I laughed. “None of us do.”
“No, really, I mean it. Those people in there, they probably make more in a year than my mom made in her entire life. It’s like a totally different world.”
I was quiet for a moment and nodded. “You’re right about that. It’s a different world.”
“I grew up poor. Single mom and a deadbeat dad. He came around and stole anything he could get his hands on, so whenever we were flush, it was just a matter of time. My mom would joke how we were always rich until my dad came home, and then we were poor again.” She smiled a little at the memory. “Doesn’t matter now, I guess.”
“My parents weren’t wealthy either,” I said softly. “They were good people. Died in a plane crash on vacation, their first trip out of the county. They took some small plane to the Andes Mountains and never came back.” I laughed a little, shook my head. I bet it took all my father’s courage in the world to get on that plane—and it hadn’t been worth the effort. “Things were rough after they were gone. I was in med school, and Jamie was still in high school. I guess I’m just happy they trusted her enough to leave her behind.”
“Lucky her,” Erica said.
“I guess. Didn’t do her too much good. She didn’t last too much longer.” I looked down at my feet then forced myself to shake it off. “Don’t let those assholes in there get to you, okay?”
“I’m trying. I just feel like none of this is real. There’s you, and this dress, and those people—”
“What about that dress?”
She gave me a look. “This dress is like $10,000. You realize that right?”
“I bought it, so I’m aware.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s crazy. You’re spending so much money on me and we’re not really married.”
I don’t know why I did it. I moved toward her, tilted her chin up toward mine, and looked into her eyes. “You’re right, our marriage isn’t real. But you know what? I don’t think I care.”
“Why not?” she whispered. “When we get through this—what are we going to do then?”
“I don’t care about the future. Right now, I’m living for the present.” I leaned down and kissed her, and for half a beat I thought she might not kiss me back.
But then she took a sharp breath in through her nose and pressed her body against mine, and I knew it, I knew she felt the same way knew, she couldn’t help herself just like I couldn’t help it. When she was around, I lost something, something broke in me, something that held me back from the world. She made me more present, made me happier—and I realized that what I had said to the guys earlier was true.
That was why Richard hated it. He knew I wasn’t lying and it drove him crazy. He hated that I found something good, something that made me happy, and he couldn’t stand seeing me like that.
The kiss broke off and I lingered close to her. “What are we doing?” she whispered.
“Living for right now.” I squeezed her hips and bit her bottom lip. “Now come on, we need to get back in there before I do something drastic.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Like make you drop down to your knees, ruin an expensive dress, and swallow my cock until tears run down your cheeks.”
Her lips fell open and I smiled. It was good to know I could still shock her, at least a little bit.
I turned away and walked back to the door. I pulled it all the way open and kicked the crate aside. Erica cleared her throat then walked over to me, and on her way past, I slapped her ass.