Knocked Up by the Killer

“Still a bad idea,” Tanner said. “Just sit and wait.”

So I sat and waited, and kept waiting, and kept waiting.

Exactly two weeks after we first moved in, my boss called. She sounded surprised when I picked up my phone.

“Elise,” Maggie said. “Hi, uh, how are you?”

“I’m okay,” I said. “Is everything okay with you? You got my email, right?”

She laughed a little. “Well, yeah. That was two weeks ago. And I haven’t heard anything since.”

Oh, crap. In all the excitement, I forgot to update her.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I lost track of time.”

“You lost track of days?”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I can’t come back in yet.”

“When do you think you will? I don’t know how much vacation time you have saved up and we kind of need you in the office.”

“I know,” I said. “Soon, really soon. Another week, maybe.”

She cleared her throat. “Elise…”

“Maggie, I know,” I said. “This is really weird. I just disappeared.”

“Are you okay?” she asked and sounded genuinely worried. “I don’t want to freak out and call the cops, but I’m on the verge.”

“No, no, no, that’s okay,” I said. “Honestly, I’m fine. I’m really, really fine. Bored, actually.”

“So what are you doing?”

“Uh, like I said in the email, I’m on vacation.”

“Right,” she said. “But where?”

“Venice.” First place that popped into my mind. What an insane thing to say.

“You’re in Venice right now?” she said.

“Yeah. I got one of those, uh, international plans? So I can still keep in touch.”

“Right,” she said. “Elise…”

“Maggie, honest. I’m having the time of my life.”

“You just said you were bored.”

“But in a good way. So overwhelmed by all this beauty and history, I’m, like, really bored. You know what I mean?”

“No,” Maggie said. “I really don’t. And you’re really worrying me.”

“I’ll be back in the office soon,” I said. “I promise. Just don’t fire me yet, okay?”

“I don’t want to fire you,” she said. “But you’ve been gone for two weeks.”

“Another week. I’ll be back.”

“Fine,” she said. “Clear it with HR and make sure you’re using vacation days. And I want some really good pictures. Maybe some kind of fancy souvenir. I don’t know, make it expensive, since you’re getting all this time off.”

“You’re the best, Mags.”

“I know it,” she said. “And seriously, if you need help, if you need anything… just use that international plan and give me a call.”

“Will do. Bye, Mags.”

I hung up the phone and stared at it like it just grew legs and threatened to crawl up my skirt.

“Who was that?” Tanner asked from the living room. He sounded tired.

“Nobody,” I said.

“Sounded like you were begging your boss not to fire you.” He got up and walked to the doorway of the bedroom.

“Do you have to listen in on my calls?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Well, don’t, you creep.”

“You’re ten feet away from me,” he said. “Kind of hard to ignore.”

“I’ll go in the bathroom next time.”

“Don’t bother. I’ll just push my ear against the door.”

I made a face. “What’s with you?”

“Just being honest.”

“Well, don’t. Or maybe just don’t eavesdrop on me.”

He grinned and made a dismissive gesture. “Aw, you don’t mind. You’re just bored.”

“Damn right I’m bored.” I flopped hard back on the bed. “I’m about to get fired and some guy wants to murder me. So, uh, yeah, not a whole lot good in my life right now.”

“You’re hanging out with me,” he said.

“You went all day yesterday without saying a single word to me,” I said.

“I was meditating.”

“You were watching Saved by the Bell reruns.”

“I love Screech,” he said. “Hilarious guy. Goofy hair. Solid physical comedy. Good stuff.”

“You’re insane.” I sat up on my hands and stared at him. “I want to go outside.”

“Out of the question.”

“Please?”

“Nope.”

“Tanner.” I shuffled forward, got on my knees, clasped my hands together. “I just want to go for a walk around the block. I want to see people that aren’t you. I want to smell something that’s not stale hotel body odor and cleaning supplies.”

“That reminds me, we really do need to let the maid come through here tomorrow.” He made a disgusted face and ran a finger along the doorjamb.

“I’m being serious.”

“I am too. It’s disgusting in here.”

“Tanner, please. Let’s go for a walk. You can stay with me the whole time. I’ll hold your hand if you want, so I can’t get away.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not worried about you running away.”

“What are you worried about?”

“Bennigan’s watching,” he said. “And he’ll see us.”

“You think he’s going to attack in the middle of the day on a random Tuesday?”

“It’s Wednesday.”

I groaned. “I lost a day. Oh my god, I’m so bored, I lost an entire day.”

He pushed off the doorjamb and walked over. He sat down on the bed next to me. The mattress bounced and dipped from his weight. I stared at him and hoped I was making suitable puppy-dog eyes.