Knocked Up by the Killer

If only that were true. Then I’d burn up and die from the lava and never have to face any of this again.

I put my hand on my belly.

But that would mean my baby would die too.

“Fuck,” I said.

My hands shook as I opened the bathroom door. I dropped the key off with the woman up front. She gave me a bored look. I doubted that she noticed the tears in my eyes.

I left Wawa and stood out front.

“What the hell am I going to do now?” I asked the world.

“Got some spare change?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin. A guy missing both his front teeth leered at me from a few feet away. I dug a dollar from my pocket, gave it to him, then walked as fast as I could without thinking about where I was going.

It didn’t matter. One place was as good as another. I was pregnant with Tanner’s baby and my whole world was crumbling down around me.

I hated him. I hated myself. I wanted this all to end.

But I was pregnant. I had a baby growing inside of me, and no matter what I wanted, that mattered.

There was life inside me now.

And I had to find a way to get through this, at least so I could do right by that life.18TannerThe park was nearly black as I wandered into its concrete walkway. The path was inviting during the day, but felt like the gaping jaw of hell in the middle of the night. The overhead spotlights were off, and only the weak glow of the street lamps illuminated the path. Bums wrapped in blankets sprawled on the benches.

My feet hurt from walking. I felt like I’d gone through the whole city. It was after three in the morning and I stank from exhaustion and anxiety. I was close to giving up, but had one last spot to look before I went back to the room.

Maybe she’d be up there, waiting for me.

Not likely.

I followed the path as it snaked toward the waterfront. The sky paths curved away like shadowed snakes. I could just make out the dog park ahead, its normally green fence a grayed-out gloom.

A person stood in front of it. Two bags were at its feet.

I didn’t recognize her at first, not until I got closer. Then she resolved into reality: Elise, leaning against the fence, staring at the dark and empty dog park.

“Hey,” I said from a few feet away.

She knew I was there. I could tell she heard me by the way her body shifted slightly in my direction.

“Hey,” she said.

“Where’d you go?”

“All over.” She made a vague gesture. “Ran all over the place. Got a good workout in.”

“Same.” I didn’t go close, though I wanted to. “We should talk about earlier.”

“You mean how you wanted to sell me to my dad?”

I grimaced. I hoped she could see my expression in the night.

“I know that’s what I said, but you have to trust me, Elise. I’m not going to give you to anyone.”

She snorted. “Why would I trust you?”

“Because I’ve done nothing but try to help you so far.”

She frowned, tilted her head. “Maybe,” she said. “But now your ass is on the line, too, right? And your plan isn’t going anywhere. We spent weeks hanging around doing nothing, waiting for something to change, and we’re still nowhere.”

“That doesn’t matter,” I said. “None of it matters. I wouldn’t give you up because you’re not mine to give. Elise, if you want to go with your dad, then go with him. If you don’t, then don’t. I haven’t forced you into anything yet, and you know I’m not going to.”

“Then why tell him you would?” she asked. “Why tell him you want him to kill Bennigan?”

“To get him off my back,” I said. “And to take care of another problem without having to lift a finger. Think about it, if your dad takes care of Bennigan, then we just bought more time.”

“And your whole deal scenario’s much less likely to happen. Did you think about that? You think the Leone family’s going to deal with my dad if he goes around killing their employees?”

I clenched my jaw. “I didn’t think about that.”

“No, you didn’t. Because you’re not as perfect and as smart as you think you are.”

“I’m definitely not perfect.” I smiled at her stepped forward.

She stared at me. “Just go away, okay?”

“Come back to the room,” I said. “It’s not safe out here. Bennigan—”

“I’m sick of hearing his name,” she said, making a face. “He’s the monster under my bed. He’s the boogeyman. He’s just a figment of your imagination.”

“You know that’s not true, right?” I gestured at my face. The bruises were mostly healed, though the faded yellow was still barely visible on my skin. “You saw me fight him off.”