Knocked Up by the Killer

Tanner— I’m pregnant. It’s yours. I’m sorry. Elise.

I read them over and over before I let the page float down to the floor, slipped out from between my fingers.

Pregnant, she’s pregnant, oh my god, she’s pregnant.

I’m going to be a father.

And now she was gone.21EliseI felt numb as I trudged down the block with my bag slung over my shoulder. I had my hands shoved into the pocket of a big hooded sweatshirt. I had on a pair of small shorts and my legs felt cold in the brisk early morning wind.

I tried not to think. I didn’t want to think. I wanted my mind to stay blank as much as possible.

When I woke up this morning, Tanner was gone. He didn’t leave a note, but all his things were still there, so I figured he went out for breakfast or coffee. I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, washed my face, then stared at myself in the mirror.

And knew what I had to do.

I left that second. I grabbed all my stuff and left. I was so scared as I ran down the steps and hustled out of the lobby. I practically ran south down Twentieth Street, heart racing the whole time. I ran until I was ten blocks away, and I could be sure Tanner wouldn’t catch me, not yet at least.

I had some money. I had my clothes.

But I had nowhere else to go.

So I got a cab and gave him my father’s address.

I wanted to die the whole ride over, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was pregnant, and the father of my child was a killer. I couldn’t just stay in that hotel room and wait for something to change. Nothing was going to change. Tanner was a monster, and he’d drag me down into his darkness if I let him.

I had to do something. My father raised a child once, so maybe he’d know what to do. It was stupid, I knew. My father was as bad as Tanner or maybe worse. I wasn’t going to find safety with him, not the safety I desperately craved.

But it was better than staying with a murderer.

The cabbie dropped me off at the mouth of the alley. I paid in cash then hurried down the cobbled street. I stopped outside my father’s door and knocked.

He didn’t answer. I knocked again, and again, and again. An old woman came out of a door two houses down and gave me a dirty look as she pulled a ratty old jacket around her shoulders. I stared at her then knocked again.

“OKAY,” my dad yelled from inside. “Shut the fuck up. Who the fuck is—”

He pulled open the door and stared at me.

“Hi, Dad,” I said.

“Elise.” He let out a laugh. “Shit. I didn’t know it was you.”

“It’s okay. It’s early.”

“Yeah, I was sleeping still.” He grinned at me, ruffled his hair. He wore a pair of pajama pants and an old white t-shirt. “You want to come in?”

“Please,” I said.

He stepped aside and let me in.

I dropped my bag on the couch. He lingered near the door, looked both ways outside, then shut it behind me.

“Where’s the guy?” he asked.

“Tanner?” I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“You left him, huh.” Dad cocked his head. “You okay?”

“I think so,” I said, looking around his place. “He made a deal with you, right?”

“About that guy, Bennigan, yeah. Look, sweetie, I just want—”

“Bennigan’s dead,” I said. “I watched Tanner kill him last night.”

Dad stood still and didn’t speak for a long moment then sighed. He nodded his head. “Come on. I’ll make coffee.”

He led me into the kitchen and sat me down at the table. He busied himself brewing coffee and making some eggs. I stared at the chipped wooden table and shifted in the old padded chair. It didn’t match the table or the other chairs, but it was comfortable.

“Here,” he said, and put coffee down in front of me.

I sipped it black. It was strong and dark and hot. It woke me up, at least a little bit.

Dad finished the eggs, just like he used to make them when I was a kid, and put them on two plates with toast. I didn’t touch the food, but it was nice, and I could almost pretend like things were okay and I was a little girl again.

“Did you watch it happen?” he asked.

I nodded. I stared at my black coffee.

“Hell of a thing,” he said, “seeing that happen.”

“You’d know, right?”

He nodded. “I would,” he said. “I guess I don’t have to hide from you anymore.”

“You never did hide very well.”

He snorted and shrugged. “What can I say, kid? I’m in a hard business.”

“Tanner is too. And now I’m caught in the middle.”

“You should’ve come to me sooner. Tanner’s a dangerous guy, way more dangerous than I am.”