Knocked Up by the Killer

Then I moved again. I heard more shouting behind me and picked up the pace. Those guys were going to be fucking pissed, so I’d better find a new way out of this place. I just guaranteed they’d be spending the next week cleaning that shit out of that room.

Up ahead, a door opened. I ducked to the side and slipped into another open doorway. The room behind me was dark and empty, but it looked like it used to be a parlor of some kind. The furniture was covered in drop cloths and the walls were a fresh white.

Voices echoed down to me. One male, one female.

“— need to stay away.”

“He’s always like this,” a woman said.

“I know that, Mona,” the man said. I recognized his voice and a smile passed over my lips. “But just tell Vincent to keep his head together, all right? The Don’s got a lot on his mind.”

“Like this renovation?”

The couple stopped outside of the room I was hiding in. My heart hammered in my chest, and although I couldn’t see them, I could picture the guy in my mind.

Medium height, bald head, beady little eyes, pissed-off expression. That was Roberto, the Don’s main bodyguard, and potentially the second most important man in the entire family. He had the Don’s ear unlike anyone else.

“The renovation’s just a start,” Roberto said. “Please, Mona. Go home. Go tell Vincent to keep things quiet, all right?”

“I’ll try,” Mona said. “You know my husband. He’s not really interested in pleasing anyone.”

“Except for you.”

Mona laughed. “Which is why he’d better listen.”

“I know he’s on edge. This new family in town’s been causing all sorts of problems. But we’re handling it, so Vincent doesn’t need to worry himself.”

“I’ll pass that along. And tell the Don I stopped by. I was hoping I could invite him to dinner this weekend.”

“I’ll let him know.”

More yelling from the main room. “We got concrete here! Youse guys better be careful, yeah?”

“What the hell is this?” Roberto grumbled, and the pair of them moved away.

I lingered in the room and poked my head into the hallway. I saw Roberto down talking to the workers. The woman slipped past them and disappeared around the corner. I caught a glimpse of a pretty face, dark hair, slim waist, but then she was gone.

Roberto gestured at the mess then came stomping back toward me.

I didn’t think too much. The plan just formed itself in my brain. Sometimes shit happened that way, like the best ideas formed without you even realizing it, like your brain’s just some machine ticking away all the time, and it only feeds you the important stuff when you need it.

As Roberto got closer, I whistled. Just a little chirp, but loud enough for him to hear. His footsteps stopped and he stood in the hall, probably straining himself to listen.

So I whistled again.

“The fuck?” Roberto said. He stepped into the room.

I moved fast. I slammed the heel of my palm against his ear as hard as I could. It knocked him back and stunned him. I slammed the door shut then turned as he growled and came at me.

But Roberto was more bark than bite, and anyway, he was off balance from that slap. He came too low and I was able to drive an elbow into the back of his neck, slamming him to the floor. I wrestled him until I got one of his arms behind his back, his wrist locked in my right hand, while I wrapped my left arm around his neck.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “What the hell.”

“Hiya, Roberto,” I said, perfectly pleasant.

“Tanner?” He gagged as I put more pressure on his throat. “Get off me, you fucking psycho. You want to die? You really want to die?”

“I’m pretty sure you already tried killing me,” I said.

“We didn’t even start trying yet,” he growled, then groaned as I pushed his arm a little bit more.

“You keep threatening me and I’ll break your wrist,” I said. “Then I’ll dislocate your shoulder. And then I’ll kick you in the skull until you die.”

He breathed hard, face against the cold wood floor.

“That’s better,” I said. “Now, Roberto, it’s nice to see you.”

“You spilled that concrete, didn’t you?”

“Sorry,” I said. “I know that’s a huge pain. But they’ll clean it up, and it’s not like the Don can’t afford it.”

He grunted. “Why are you here?”

“You can probably guess,” I said. “I mean, you sent Bennigan after me. How’d that go, by the way?”

“Just another dead asshole,” Roberto said.

“True enough.” I relaxed my arm around his neck, but kept pressure on his wrist. “Here’s the thing. All this fighting, it’s not good for anyone. Now I’ve been putting pressure on Dante to put pressure on your boss, but that hasn’t been working out so great.”

“Dante don’t work for you,” Roberto said.