“I know that.” I smiled at him and leaned over. He kissed me and touched my cheek with his fingertips.
“You know I love you, right?”
“You tell me every day.”
“Just need to make sure you hear it.”
I leaned back. “Is this what it’s like?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Having a normal life. Is this what it’s like?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I spent half my life living alone and killing people for a living. Now I’m a pharma sales rep and I sell drugs to doctors.”
“So you’re still killing people.”
He snorted. An old joke, but we always laughed at it.
“It’s been an adjustment,” he said. “But I think things are coming together. And I think I’m starting to get used to all the quiet.”
“Yeah, me too.” I chewed my lip and laughed. “When we first moved here, I was so afraid we’d end up homeless and struggling.”
“Instead, we live in this big, green pea soup-colored monstrosity.”
“You love it. We have a tower.”
“Victorian was never my style. Remember my apartment back in Philly?”
“I remember. It was Patrick Bateman meets Marie Kondo.”
“The perfect combination,” he said with a dramatic sigh.
I laughed and stood up. “I should get the monitor.”
“Stay out here,” he said, getting up. “I’ll grab it. You just think, okay?”
I gave him a look. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Go out of your way to be nice.”
He hesitated. “Just stay here for a second, okay?”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But bring it out.”
He nodded and headed inside.
I sat back down to watch the rain. I wondered about Julian’s tooth, about whether I should take that job or not, about a hundred mundane things. My life was a series of small worries, and it was almost a relief that I didn’t have to think about the big things anymore.
No more mafia. No more killing. My father was long gone. I hadn’t heard from him since the day we left Philly, and I had no interested in finding out if the peace deal Tanner brokered held or not.
I just didn’t care.
Tanner came back a couple minutes later. He handed me the small white monitor and I turned it on. Julian appeared in black and white, lying in his crib, scrunched up in the corner.
“He’s co cute when he—” I stopped as I looked up at Tanner. He was kneeling down in front of me, a smile on his lips. “What are you doing?”
He took a black box from his pocket. “I’ve been meaning to do this for a while,” he said. “The moment never seems right. But for some reason, this feels perfect. The rain, the sleeping baby. I feel like we’re on the cusp of something, and I want to take us all the way.”
“Tanner.” My eyes went wide as he opened the ring box.
A glittering diamond stared back at me. It was big, square, small stones on either side, white gold band. I sucked in a breath as he tilted his head.
“Marry me,” he said.
“Yes, I mean, of course. But—”
He leaned forward and kissed me before I could ask more. When the kiss ended, he slipped the ring on my finger and I laughed, giddy with excitement.
“Maybe you pictured something more dramatic,” he said. “A big, grand gesture. But I think we’ve had enough grand gestures. I think a small thing is the right thing for us, don’t you? Just being on this porch together with a perfect little baby boy sleeping upstairs is an achievement. Getting married is just the next step to make it all perfect.”
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you too.”
We kissed again and he held me tight. I stared at the ring on my finger and in that moment, I knew I was going to take the job. I knew I was going to move forward with my life.
It was time to change and to grow. I’d do that with Tanner, every single day. My love, my future husband, father of my child, light of my life. He made me stronger, smarter, better.
I couldn’t get enough of him.
With Tanner, I never had to choose between life or joy.
With Tanner, everything was joy.