“Mine?” Her eyes widened as she took a step back. “Why would you ask me?”
I chewed on that for a moment. “You’re a part of this,” I said. “The Jalisco, they’re going to keep coming hard for you. So we can hit back, kill them first before they get a chance. Or we can try to keep you hidden. If we do make a move, you’ll probably have to come and hide out in the car or some shit. I couldn’t just leave you behind.”
“You’d want me to… come?” She shook her head. “That’s insane.”
“You wouldn’t come inside.”
“Luca. There’s no way.”
“You’d be safe,” I said. “I promise you that. I won’t ever put you in harm’s way, Clair.”
She opened her mouth to speak then let out a breath instead. She pulled at her hair, straightening it over and over again, chewing on her cheek.
“Do you think this would help?” she asked. “I mean, if you did this… would I be able to go home?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “But the more Jalisco we kill, the fewer there are to hurt you.”
She groaned and shook her head. “I can’t be a part of you… killing people.”
“Listen, little girl,” I said. “I killed a guy for you just the other day. You didn’t try to stop me then.”
“That was different,” she said. “And stop calling me that.”
“How’s it different?”
“He came for me first. You were… protecting me.”
“Killing these guys is protecting you.” I shook my head and gave her a sharp look. The girl clearly didn’t get it, not even close. She didn’t know how this worked. “The Jalisco are going to come after you, over and over again. It’s just a matter of time before they find this place. We’ve been lucky so far, we haven’t had too many people over. But soon you’ll have to meet with lawyers, you’ll have to go out and sign shit, you’ll have to live your life. When you do, the Jalisco will be waiting.”
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She let out this frustrated growl that sent a shiver down my spine.
“I hate this,” she said.
“I know you do.” I stood up and loomed over her, staring down at her pretty face. “But we can’t just hide forever. Sooner or later, you’ve got to do something.”
“Can’t I just give it all away?” she whispered. “Give you all the money. Then I can be free.”
“Doubt it,” I said. “But I’ll take it, if you’re offering.”
She sighed and shook her head. “No, you’ll just waste it.”
“On what?”
“Peking duck. I bet you’ll buy Hog out of his stash and hoard it all for yourself.”
I grinned at her. “You know me too well already.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She sighed, ran a hand through her hair, and seemed to really struggle for a moment. “Fine, call up the Don. See what he says.”
“So I have your permission then?”
“You have my permission to call my uncle.” She shook her head and walked to the door then into the living room. “You don’t have my permission for anything else.”
“You’re going to have so much fun,” I said loudly as she walked across the living room then to the stairs. “Just you wait, little girl. You’re going to be a mafia princess soon enough.”
“Stop calling me that!” she yelled from the staircase.
I laughed as she stomped her way up then slammed her door shut.12ClairI hid out in my room for the rest of the day, struggling with my decision.
I just told Luca he can go kill a bunch of men. I gave him that permission, all because I’m a coward.
I’m afraid of the Jalisco. I’m terrified of what they might do to me, terrified they’ll find me and hurt me, and I’m willing to unleash Luca and the rest of the mafia on them if it means saving myself.
I’m a hypocrite.
I know it, I can see it plain as day. It stared me back in the face all afternoon as I rolled around in bed, staring at my phone, trying to distract myself with TikTok memes and stupid Reddit posts.
But I just kept coming back to one simple truth.
I was willing to kill if it meant saving myself.
So how was I any different from Luca?
Around noon, there was a knock on my door. I got out of bed, shuffled over and opened it up, expecting to see Luca standing there.
Instead, I found a small plate of duck, some rice, some vegetables, and a little note.
You don’t have to hide, but at least hide in style. -L
I couldn’t help but smile.
What a freaking weird mobster.
One second, he’s talking about killing men. Then the next, he’s feeding me, like he really does want to take care of me.
I took the food into my room, shut the door quietly, and ate sitting on the edge of my bed.