“It would be really fucking nice if your uncle took the throne back,” he spits ruefully, and I see the conflict in Lucas’s eyes. For the last sixteen hundred years, he’s lived for himself and for himself alone. Eliza’s been part of his afterlife for three hundred years, which is still a short amount of time when you compare it to the thirteen hundred years he roamed the world without her. Vampires are selfish by nature, and Lucas was no exception to that. He’s told me before I should do what best suits me, even if it means putting someone else at risk.
Which isn’t something I can do. It’s not who I am, and Lucas has said time and time again he loves every part of me. The good, the bad, and the petty and impulsive. It makes sense to me, now that I know who my father is, why I am the way I am. Michael is God’s fiercest warrior. He’s the defender of the innocent, the one sent to save people’s souls. Physically, I might look like my mother, but I think I take after my father in many more ways.
“It would.” I stand, brushing ash from the fireplace off my hands. “And I still think he will. I just hope he’s not too late.” I go back to the desk and sit down, opening the notebook to a new page.
“Are you sending another letter?”
“No. I’m making a list of all the shit going on in my life because pregnancy brain is a real thing and I just can’t keep track of it all.” I uncap the pen. “One: I declared myself Queen of Hell. Two: Archangels will kill me if they find me. Three: Demons will kill me if they find me. Four: Demons will kidnap me if they find me. Five: Demons will try to—”
“Callie.” Lucas puts his hand on mine. “Let me make you breakfast.”
“I need to make my list. And then I’ll pick one thing and check it off.”
“It’s not that easy,” he says gently.
“But I have to. There’s just…there’s so much,” I say quickly.
“I know, which is why we are going into the kitchen. You can give me another cooking lesson since last time I burned the biscuits and put too much pepper in the gravy.”
“I can’t,” I repeat, voice cracking. “I feel like I’m treading water, barely able to keep my head above the surface. There’s just so much, and it’s like one wave after another, trying to pull me under. If I stop treading, I’ll drown.”
“No, you won’t. I happen to be a very good swimmer.”
Tears roll down my cheeks, and I put the pen down. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out.” He extends his hand for me to take so he can help me to my feet. I wrap my arms around his neck and go in to kiss him. The world melts way the moment our lips touch. Lucas is my rock and my anchor, and he’s also my life preserver, pulling me from murky waters when I’ve given everything I can to keep from drowning. “Come now, my love, let’s get something to eat.”
“I need my morning sickness potion.” My stomach is a little queasy, though it could be from the stress. I haven’t tried not taking the potion because throwing up was so awful I don’t want to go back to feeling that way. “And I want socks. My feet are cold.”
We go upstairs together and take a quick shower and then get dressed, going back downstairs. I let Scarlet out while Lucas gathers the ingredients for biscuits and gravy. Avoiding my problems is classic Callie, and I’ve been trying hard not to do that anymore. Letting things go for the rest of today feels exactly like that, though I can’t pick one of my very involved, very dangerous issues and just cross it off my to-do list as if it’s a honey-do list of household chores.
Enjoying the day with Lucas is needed. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’m mentally exhausted, though I haven’t been up for long. I’ve put off ordering anything for the baby, but I feel like maybe it’s time now. If she’s made it this far and everything looks good, it gives me hope she’ll continue to grow and I’ll be able to carry her to term.
And then Lucas and I will have our daughter in our arms.
Scarlet comes in, paws wet and muddy, and it takes me a good five minutes to get all the mud off her wiry fur. The wind did bring in warmer weather, but it’s the kind of blustery day that will sweep you right off your feet if you’re not careful. It’s only the end of January here in the Midwest, too. This rare forty-degree day is just a slight reprieve from the bitter cold it was only days ago, though you could also argue it’s a tease. The temps will drop again, staying that way until April, though we’ve gotten snow in May before, too.