“Hey.” There’s a caring look on Forest’s face as he comes to hug me. He might be a year younger than me, but he’s so tall, I barely reach his shoulder. In a way, he’s always been my big brother.
I wrap my arms around him and give myself a moment to enjoy the safety I feel in his embrace. When I pull back, I smile at Aria and Carla, Hunter and Jase’s sisters. “What are you all doing here?”
“We wanted to see how you’re doing,” Forest explains.
Forest, Aria, and Carla are close like I am with Jase, Hunter, and Hana. But next year, the three of them will start at Trinity, and then we’ll all probably become one big group.
Jase throws an arm around his little sister and asks, “How’s school.”
Carla glances up at him and shrugs, “Still sucks. I can’t wait to start here.”
Her answer draws a chuckle from Jase. “Yeah? Wait until you get your first assignments, and you’ll be singing a different tune.”
“I’m the clever one,” she sasses her brother.
“Keep lying to yourself,” he taunts her.
When we all keep standing, Hunter says, “Sit, guys.”
I plop down on the nearest couch and watch as Forest waits for Aria to sit before he takes the seat next to her.
That used to be Kao and me.
Forest locks eyes with me for a second, and then his gaze moves to my cheek. “How do you feel?”
“I’m okay,” I lie. “The stitches are coming out next week.”
“Dad said Dr. Menard will be able to fix the cuts,” he mentions.
“Yeah, the doctor is optimistic.”
It’s so hard to act normal, to communicate, to smile. I wish I could crawl into my bed and just stay there.
Forest begins to frown, and then he gets up. He gestures with his head toward the hallway, and when he walks in the direction of my room, I get up and follow him.
The instant I shut the door behind us, Forest asks, “How are you really doing?”
No matter how hard I try, I can’t lie to my brother, and my face crumbles as the tears rush to the surface. I shake my head, and when Forest pulls me into a hug, sobs begin to wrack me.
Forest rubs a hand up and down my back. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t… deal with… everything,” I admit. “It’s too hard.”
“What’s everything?” he asks, his tone soft and caring, and it only makes the tears fall faster.
“Kao hates me. I look like a monster,” I begin to ramble. “I can’t keep up with the act. It’s all too much.”
Forest leads me over to the bed, and we sit down. He leans forward and tilting his head, he locks eyes with me. “You’re not a monster, Fallon.”
“You haven’t seen the scars.” A breath shudders out of my chest. Every morning I see my face is a death blow to my womanhood. “I can’t even look at myself.”
“Dad and Mom said the cuts are healing nicely.”
I shake my head. “They’re our parents. No matter how ugly we are, they’ll love us.”
A frown forms between Forest’s eyebrows. “You’re not ugly. Stop saying that.”
“But it’s the truth,” I whimper.
I start to cry uncontrollably, and Forest quickly pulls me back into a hug. He tries to calm me with soothing words but none of them help. After a while, he asks, “Why don’t you come home? It’s just ten days until Christmas break. Mila or Jade can email you the work you’ll miss out on.”
I get up to go blow my nose. God, I’ve never cried this much before. My face feels swollen and tender.
Maybe Forest is right, and I should go home. I was wrong to think I’d be able to just go on with my life and ignore the brutal fact that it shattered to pieces. Just like my face.
When I sit down next to Forest again, I say, “The Christmas Ball is next week. At least everything’s arranged, but I’ll have to withdraw from the committee.”
Forest places his arm around my shoulder. “I’ll go to the office and take care of it. Start packing so I can take you home.”
My chin begins to tremble again. I’m disappointed in myself. I thought I was stronger than this. But I know if I stay here I won’t make it. I need to go home and be with my family. Right now, all our friends are worried about Kao, and they’re focused on helping him. Rightly so. He’s blind. My injuries are nothing compared to his… but still, I can’t get through this on my own.
“Come on.” Forest pulls me to my feet. “Just grab the stuff you’ll need for the next two days. I’ll take care of the rest.”
I look up at my brother, and feeling broken and small, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my left cheek against his chest. “Thank you.”