I tipped over, clutching my stomach, the phone pressed tight to my ear as his words repeated over and over in my head. “Please. Carlos. Don’t hurt him. I’m begging you.”
“Come home, Catalina. I’ll give you two days.” The phone went dead and it slipped from my grasp into the dirt. I covered my face with my hands and rocked back and forth sobbing. My dad was dead. My brother… Juan had left home to escape this. He had been trying to get me out, too.
I could run. Leave. Go to Canada with Connor.
But, I’d never be able to live with myself if I was responsible for my brother’s death.
And it wouldn’t stop there. My mother would be next. Maybe the guy I dated last year. The girl I talked to at the market.
Oh, God. No.
Carlos’s reach extended far and he had friends everywhere because he made certain he did. His wealth meant he was able to line the pockets of those in high places to look the other way at his indiscretions.
If Carlos wanted something, he took it. If he decided to end an entire family, he ended it.
I was here with Connor, living a fantasy. I should’ve known this couldn’t last. My life was never meant to be a happily ever after. I grew up knowing that. I’d accepted it.
Until him.
Until Connor.
There was a wave of warmth thinking about him, yet at the same time, tidal waves of dread slammed into me.
I had to leave him.
It was like my insides were being ripped apart and all the hope and joy slowly bled out of me.
I had to leave and Connor couldn’t know why. If he knew, he’d never allow me to go back. He’d tie me up if he had to. Connor protected his team. Protected his friends. He’d do anything in his power to protect those he cared about.
And that included me.
Carlos would kill him just like he was going to kill my brother. Like he had my father.
I had to leave. Now. Right now. Before Connor returned. I couldn’t let him see me or he’d know something was wrong.
Jaz. I had to find Jaz. He’d find a way to get me back to base and on a flight. I’d tell him… God, I had to lie.
I was treading water and with each ragged breath, I sank further and further into the darkness of despair.
There was no choice. I had to go home. And I had to make sure Connor would never come after me.
I had to hurt him. I had to hurt him so badly that he’d hate me.
I’d leave him a note in his journal. But just thinking about the words I’d have to write, broke me. It was complete devastation.
Oh, God, Connor. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
But risking my brother’s life wasn’t an option, and telling Connor wasn’t an option.
In my world, it’s not if you love something set it free. It’s if you love something, don’t let Carlos Moreno know.
Carlos Moreno could never know I love Connor O’Neill.To Corporal Connor O’Neill,
We were always meant to be temporary. You’re a good man and I wish you all the best. But I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry I lied.
By the time you read this, I’ll have gone. I’m returning home to my fiancé.
Catalina“You ready?” Jaz asked, standing in the doorway of the small, bare room I’d been sharing with Connor.
I nodded, looking up from the tear-stained page filled with hurtful lies. I tucked it inside his journal and placed it in the middle of his cot. He didn’t know my handwriting, so it was doubtful he’d notice how shaky it was. Even if he did, Connor would be so pissed off that I was pretty sure the paper would end up in shreds before he even read the last line that was a horrible lie.
“Alina, are you sure you want to leave without seeing him?” Jaz had his bag over his shoulder and was ready to go. When I told him I had to leave, there was no hesitation that he’d leave with me. We only had another day here and we had what we needed for the magazine.
“Yeah.” I reached for my bag, hand shaking and I was barely able to keep myself from falling into a sobbing puddle on the floor. I’d told Jaz the truth about my father dying, but for obvious reasons, none of the details. I also had to tell him the lies in the note. I don’t know if he believed me or not, but he did believe that it was an emergency probably from the state I was in. He’d immediately organized for us to be picked up and taken back to the air base.
“Okay. Well, our ride is here. You know we can wait—”
I shook my head. “No. I can’t Jaz. I know I’m being a coward, but trust me, it’s better this way.”