What to do? “What do you—”
Kai interrupted, “Tomorrow an alarm will be installed. Eyes are on the house tonight.”
I knew which eyes—Ernie’s. “Umm, okay,” I said because there was no choice in this. What made me nervous was the ‘decide what to do’. They wouldn’t hurt Connor, would they?
“Call if you need anything,” London said.
I half smiled at London. “Thank you.”
She smiled back.
I slid out, shut the door, thanked Kai then opened the busted green picket gate into the front yard. I walked along the uneven stone path, the overgrown wildflowers on either side of me swaying in the breeze and making a fluttering sound.
I stepped up onto the porch that desperately needed repainting then opened the door.
Kai drove away and I caught a glimpse of Ernie in his car across the street. I stepped inside and shut the door.
Only then did I slide to the floor and fall apart.Question 4: Favorite color?IT WAS FOUR in the morning and I stood on the porch under the low branch of the willow tree. I curled my hands around the wood railing, staring at nothing, just staring.
I couldn’t sleep because every time I closed my eyes, I saw Connor.
So instead of fighting it, I distracted myself by cleaning the bathroom top to bottom, then when that was done, I scrubbed the tiled backsplash in the kitchen, then the floors, then the inside of the fridge.
It was cathartic and mind-numbing and yet when I was done, Connor still lingered.
God, it was there… in his eyes. The anguish. The anger. I searched and searched for the flicker of something, anything, of the man I once knew.
The man who made me laugh. The man who danced with me under the stars with the music trickling from the radio. The man who taught a six-year-old orphan girl with shoes three sizes too big to dance.
That man was gone.
The drug had stopped, his memory returned and he was free from Carlos and Vault¸ but Connor was now a prisoner of his memories.
I sensed his volatility and that scared me. He scared me.
But love wasn’t a choice. And I loved him. I fell in love with him in Afghanistan and I loved him years later when Carlos brought him to Colombia as a cold-hearted and cruel killer. And I loved him now.
A dog howled in the distance and then another joined in. I closed my eyes, listening to the sounds while I breathed in the cool night air.
The porch boards creaked behind me. I spun, but not fast enough and a hand clamped over my mouth. I was yanked backward to land against a hard chest then dragged into the darkness of the far corner of the porch where the light failed to illuminate and a tree concealed us from the street.
My scream came out muffled and barely audible.
“Shhh,” he murmured against my ear.
Connor?
His warm breath wafted over the side of my neck and goose bumps popped along my skin. But it wasn’t from fear, well, maybe a little, but it was more an awareness. Like my body awakened to his touch.
“They put a man on you.”
Ernie. He’d seen Ernie. Connor managed to get by an ex-navy SEAL. It shouldn’t surprise me. He excelled at being invisible. But the question was had Ernie seen him?
“He’s good. Took two hours before I had the chance.” And he’d always been patient. “Are you going to stay quiet if I remove my hand?”
I did my best to nod, but his grip on me was constricting and I only managed a slight dip of my chin. His hand slid from my mouth to the curve of my neck where his fingers enclosed, not harsh, but firm.
His rough whisper rumbled, “Can’t leave yet. Tried to. Bike found its way back here.” His body stiffened. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
Oh, God. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears pooled. I was uncertain what he’d do to me right now. He was on edge, but I couldn’t stop the overwhelming need to curl into his arms and take his pain away.
His body stiffened and his forearm across my breasts squeezed. I whimpered under the pressure, but didn’t struggle.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry about your family, shutterbug.”
My breath locked and a tear teetered then fell. Wetness trailed down my cheek. I hadn’t heard him call me that in eleven years and it was as if I were back there with him, falling in love all over again.
His fingers splayed on my neck gently applied more pressure. It wasn’t restricting, but it was controlling and I knew he’d easily cut off air if he wanted to. But I trusted that Connor would never willingly hurt me.
It was the graze of his lips on the edge of my jaw that sent my heart rocketing and my belly into a perpetual whoosh. Confusion and desire clashed as my body and mind fought against one another.