It was silly at a time like this, but I secretly thanked God I was wearing a nice pair of panties, although they were not my favorite color. Since I’d had to leave everything behind in Colombia, when we reached Toronto, Deck’s man, the scary Victor Gate who I’d first seen playing football at the base a million years ago, took me to the shopping mall.
It was obvious he wasn’t happy about it as he waited outside the stores with a fierce scowl. I even noticed customers avoid walking into the stores when they noticed him lingering.
Essentials to me were nice panties and bras and Vic was not impressed it took me so long to pick out the panties and bras. After half an hour he’d marched in, grabbed a shitload of thong panties from a bin, piled them in my arms, shoved me toward the counter and said to the sales lady, “Ring them up.” Then he tossed down the plastic. Deck’s company credit card.
I didn’t argue even if some of them were the wrong size.
I tried to pay Deck back with my tips from Avalanche over the last few weeks, but he’d refused and arguing with Deck was pretty much the same as arguing with any of these men. Battles were picked carefully and that was not one I’d win.
The dark purple thong I wore now had a lavender frill along the top edge and pink bow on the front. But it also had elephants printed on them.
Connor’s fingers hooked the edge of the material and I watched his eyes blaze as he took them in.
Nothing was more erotic than having this man appreciate my panties. It was so simple in the course of what was happening right now, yet I needed something as simple and normal as him loving me in lace with a cute pink bow, lavender frill, although I wasn’t sure about the elephants.
And to make it even better, when his eyes finished taking them in, they lifted to mine and there was a subtle twitch of amusement playing at the corners of his mouth.
I melted. God, I melted.
“Elephants, baby?”
I smiled. “Yeah.” I kept it to myself that these particular panties were in the ‘Vic arm sweep’ and I hadn’t picked them out. But they were sexy and cute, so I liked them.
He closed his eyes and took a deep inhale. When he opened them again, he said, “Missed this,” he murmured, his voice all husky. “Missed it so fuckin’ much.” His finger slid back and forth under the edge of the material.
Goose bumps rose across my heated skin. “Me too.” God, me too.
He tensed for a second then relaxed again before he leaned over the side of the bed, snagged his pants and reached in the side pocket. I heard the crinkle of foil and a tear. He then slid on a condom.
When he glanced at me again, his mouth was tight and brows low. “The gun,” he said. I frowned, glancing at it sitting on the nightstand then back at him. “Use it, if you need to.”
“Huh?” What was he talking about?
His hand moved fast as he cupped my chin. “Don’t always know what I’m doing. You’ve seen that twice now.” His eyes hardened. “I lose it… this time, you choose me. Don’t fuckin’ hesitate.”
Oh. My. God. “Connor? Are you insane?” I balked, horrified, my stomach twisting as I realized what he was saying. He wanted me to use it on him. I wouldn’t even touch a gun anymore.
His fingers tightened on my jaw. “I just punched the wall behind your head, seeing something other than you, not knowing what the fuck I was doing. Missed you by inches. Next time it might be your face.”
“You wouldn’t—”
He abruptly cut me off. “You don’t know fuckin’ shit what’s going on inside my head, Alina.”
I swallowed, throat tight. He was right. I may have thought I knew who this man was on top of me, but the reality was I didn’t. But I hadn’t known him in Colombia either and he’d been a much more dangerous man than he was now.
His grip hardened. His eyes hardened. And his voice hardened. “Swear it or I leave right now.”
My heart slammed into my chest. I didn’t want him to leave.
He moved to get off the bed when I grabbed his wrist. “No. Please… I will. If I need to.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.
He stared at me as if taking his time judging on whether this was still a good idea or not. He could easily go for the gun and outmaneuver me. He was elite ex-military and a trained killer, but I suspected Connor wouldn’t, no matter what was screwing with his head. He’d react before he lost it and get as far from the gun as he could.