Perfect Rage (Unyielding 3)

Then he said, “I forgot. Jesus, I forgot you. How could I ever forget you? I fucked you and I didn’t know who you were.” He bowed his head and kissed me again, slow and lingering and I ignored what he told me about touching him and slid my hand up his arm, over his shoulder to his back then up to his neck where my fingers weaved into his hair.

“You knew,” I said softly. “Somewhere inside, you knew.”

He didn’t say anything, but I felt the tension in his body. He didn’t believe me.

Then he lifted, climbed out of bed and stood.

I sat upright, heart still pounding from the sex, but also from what I knew was going to happen now.

I couldn’t stop it.

Nothing would shield the hurt.

And there was nothing I could say that would change the outcome.

I watched him dress with his back to me then he walked to the bedside table, picked up his gun and shoved it in the waist of his cargo pants.

Look at me, Connor. Please, don’t leave without looking at me.

He didn’t.

Not once.

He strode to the door then hesitated with his hand on the doorframe. I held my breath hoping he’d turn, praying he’d come back to me. Say something.

Connor strode out and disappeared.AFTER I LEFT her, I rode the highway until the sun rose and burned away the wet pavement. I was soaked, pants plastered to my legs, leather jacket ruined, hand glued to the throttle as I revved the engine faster, harder. Pushing the limits and trying to ease the rage.

I was impulsive, too impulsive.

I walked into the bar because I had to see her right then. I showed up at her house with Kai’s man watching because I had to be with her tonight. My control was nonexistent when it came to Alina.

After hours of riding, I finally turned off the highway, took a few side streets and then pulled over on the shoulder. I parked near the boardwalk at the beach where a few joggers passed. I took off my helmet and gloves before getting off.

Some chick jogging past glanced at me, slowed her pace and bravely smiled. I didn’t.

I pocketed my keys then walked across the beach. The sand clung to my wet boots and the bottom of my pants as I made my way to the water. The beach was deserted, probably because it was cool and too early.

The subtle sound of the waves rhythmically easing up on shore was soothing. I’d always found water calming even in JTF2 training when we had grueling drills in the water. It was where I excelled. It was where I’d kicked Deck’s ass.

I stared across the lake.

It was wrong, so fuckin’ wrong me coming home, being close to her, bringing her into my darkness. She deserved freedom from all that shit and I was bringing it back into her life.

But I couldn’t stay away. How the hell could I stay away?

I sat on the sand, bent my knees, arms hanging over them as I listened to the waves. I was so fuckin’ tired.

I rarely slept and when I did, it was with my nightmares. I fell back on the sand and closed my eyes.

Then I stopped fighting.

I lay facedown on a steel table in a dark, musty basement with the scent of piss and death. And I knew death. I’d witnessed horrific conditions, seen footage of what happened to prisoners. As one of the elite military of JTF2, we were prepared for capture, trained to endure pain.

Time no longer made sense as they kept me awake for days, weeks…. Fuck I didn’t know how long I’d been here. Everything was a blur, my mind a black hole filled with nightmares.

I had no idea who these people were or where I was. The last thing I remember was riding in the Humvee with my team when all went to hell.

Chaos. A blast took out the vehicle in front and I couldn’t see shit. I went to radio Deck who was ahead, but I didn’t get the chance.

Another blast hit the back of us then nothing.

I woke up with steel clamps snapped around my wrists and ankles. My dog tags gone and minor burns covered my arm and right side.

I didn’t fight the shackles because it was pointless. They were unbreakable, but then so was I. And they’d eventually find that out.

Whatever they wanted from me, they wouldn’t get, although they had yet to ask me any questions. I suspected they were trying to break me first, make me beg.

I’d die before I gave into these bastards and death was a good possibility. If I was here as ransom, ransoms weren’t paid. The only way I was getting out of here was a Special Ops extraction and Deck and the JTF2 team were the ones to do it. That was if they knew I was alive.