Perfect Rage (Unyielding 3)

Connor chuckled. “You came to me, remember. Doubt he’ll kill me, and I don’t give a fuck what he does to you.”

My mouth gaped. This wasn’t the man I fell in love with. This man was mean and cold and I didn’t like him. But for a second… one second I saw the conflict on his face, like he was fighting something. Like maybe he’d remembered something.

“Unless you’re spreading your legs, get out, bitch. And don’t come back unless you want to be fucked.” He abruptly let me go, turned then walked back into the kitchen.

I scrambled to get out the door, desperate to be strong, but falling into pieces at his cruel words. I knew it wasn’t him speaking; it was what they’d done to him, but it still hurt.

I finally opened the door, darted out, shut it behind me then leaned against it.

I couldn’t stop shaking. I crossed my arms and put my hands under them, attempting to control the vibrating.

God, Connor, what have they done to you?

This is my fault. My fault.

The pictures. The pictures. Carlos found the pictures.

My pictures had destroyed Connor.

I went back up to my room, took out my camera and smashed it into pieces.Present DayCONNOR HAD BEEN gone twelve days.

Twelve days.

He said he couldn’t forget me, but he left—again. I didn’t expect him to stay with me, but I expected something. Anything. Not just him disappearing again.

And it pissed me off. I was trying to understand. I knew he was tackling serious issues, and I felt selfish, but I couldn’t help it. I was angry.

“Another round of shots,” Georgie said to the waitress.

Georgie, Chess, London and I were having drinks at a high-class bar on King Street. London volunteered to be the DD, so she drank sparkling water.

Coming out tonight had been Chess’s idea and I’d declined, because I wasn’t comfortable hanging with Georgie, although I really liked her. She was fun and outgoing and she said things that made me laugh, but she was Connor’s sister. And there was constant guilt for being unable to tell her I’d seen him and that made me angrier with Connor for putting me in this position.

Chess, I discovered, was a lot like her brother in that no wasn’t an option. So, here I was having drinks at a bar and having my first ever girls’ night out. Since I’d had no friends growing up because everyone was scared of my father’s involvement with Carlos. And they were right to be.

We were celebrating Georgie opening a second location of her coffee shop and we did it drinking margaritas. I’d never been a drinker. In the beginning it was because I’d been focused on photography, and then because keeping all my senses was imperative while living with Carlos.

After three margaritas, I realized drinking had the bonus of numbing out the pain. Or at least dulled the stabbing ache in my chest. And I really liked hanging out with the girls. I’d never had this before and it felt… well, normal.

Chess said something about Bacon being able to do a wide plank teeter-totter and how Tristan had hired a teenager to come after school on Thursdays to help Danny with Bacon.

“And if Bacon and Danny are good enough, maybe they can do a demonstration at the Royal Winter Fair. That’s a big thing supposedly.”

“Yeah,” Georgie said. “It’s once a year at the Canadian National Exhibition. A horse show and agricultural fair.” Georgie plucked her straw from her drink and placed it on the napkin. “Connor took me when I was six.”

I coughed on my drink. Oh, God. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and London, who sat beside me, reached under the table and squeezed my hand and I glanced up at her. She offered me a half smile. She had no idea Connor had been with me, but she saw us at the bar together that first night. She saw how devastated I’d been.

Georgie was still talking, but I’d missed some of it, “… Connor had the best smile, but the fiercest scowl and he used that scowl to get me spots right in the front rows so I could watch some of the small events. The bigger ones were in the coliseum that you needed tickets for. ”

My heart thumped and goose bumps rose.

“Shots,” Georgie announced.

I looked up as she slid a small glass toward me. “Sex on the Beach.” She held up her glass and I picked up mine, as did Chess, and London with her sparkling water, and we clanged glasses.

“To great coffee,” Georgie said.

We chatted about the Center, Danny, the band Tear Asunder who were good friends with Deck and Georgie. Then Chess dragged me up to dance when Georgie and London moved the conversation to Deck and Kai merging their businesses, which was between fits of laughter.