Perfect Rage (Unyielding 3)

Vic pulled out a barstool for me and I sat beside Kai, across from Deck, with Vic on my left. I felt like a mouse surrounded by lions and I kind of was because there was no question they’d easily devour me if they wanted to.

I clasped my hands in my lap to try to stop the trembling. Jesus, I was a wimp. I knew they’d never hurt me and it wasn’t so much that as the pressure. I wasn’t part of their tight-knit group. I was the outsider who was responsible for their friend being dragged into Vault and becoming a test subject that destroyed his life. And now I was the one who kept it a secret that Connor had been coming to see me.

“Alina,” Deck said, his voice calm, but stern. “I told you before that I’d trust you to tell me when shit was no longer safe. From Deaglan’s recap of this morning, the state of your kitchen and from Chess’s summary of what went down at the bar last night, shit is no longer safe.”

I chewed on my lower lip, my heart pounding and nervous tingles trickling through me. “He hasn’t hurt me.”

“Didn’t say that,” Deck said. “But shit no longer safe means doing something before it escalates to you or anyone else getting hurt. We are there.”

Yeah. He was probably right.

I had no choice. Connor knew I’d be confronted by Deck today. It worried me that Connor had driven away and that he may never come back, especially since our last conversation was an argument.

“He’s been watching me. For a while now.”

“Since when?” This was Deck in a very scary deep voice.

“Ah, well, since he came to the bar that night of your engagement.”

“I fuckin’ knew it,” Kai said. “There was no chance he was leaving town without her.”

I continued, “He came to the house after the bar.”

Kai’s eyes widened with surprise and he sat up a little straighter. “He got past Ernie?”

Vic huffed. “Man, you have no clue who we’re dealing with. The fuckin’ guy aced JTF2 training. He doesn’t want to be seen, you don’t see him.”

I shifted uncomfortably on my stool. “And, ummm,” How did I say this? “He’s been with me a couple times since.” Kai smirked and shook his head. Deck cursed and Vic said nothing. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but he asked me not to. He doesn’t want to be around people.”

“But he’ll show up at a packed bar to cause shit in order to get to you,” Deck said.

True. “He said he doesn’t trust himself.”

Kai snorted. “No shit. He’s a ticking time bomb. Irrational. Explosive. Unfuckin’stable with highly-trained military skills. He’s dangerous as hell.” Kai turned on Deck. “I fuckin’ told you. A man doesn’t come back from that shit.”

“You did,” Vic said.

“I grew up in hell, but I didn’t have solid morals charred to ash. I killed bastards without giving a shit. It was who I was and all I knew. Connor risked his life for his country. He protected what he loved and cared about. Vault annihilated that.” Kai chin-lifted to Deck. “If you suddenly woke up and found out you killed people for some scumbag for the last four years, don’t you think that would put you over the edge? Guilt and self-hate can and will eat away at a man’s soul.” Kai leaned back on his stool, elbow resting on the bar top. “I was conditioned not to feel since I was a kid. No guilt. No self-hate.”

“Alina,” Deck said, “we need to know where Connor’s at mentally. And the only way to get that is for you to tell us everything right from the beginning. You told us about the orphanage and the note you left, but did you see him while he was on the drug? Do you know what your husband did to him before Vault gave him the drug?”

I’d never told anyone about seeing Connor in Colombia. There’d been no reason to. Carlos was dead and Connor was free.

But it was time.

So, I told them everything and not once did they interrupt. They politely listened to the games Carlos played. The years Moreno kept him imprisoned, the videos of me, the scars on Connor’s wrists and back. Then I told them about him being on the drug and coming to Colombia. About the pictures being burned and how I tried to get Connor to remember who he was by being with him.

“He’s fighting his memories,” Deck said. “They clash with who he is. A guy tortured for seven years, mind controlled, drugged and then he wakes up and finds out the woman he loves has been forced to be with the man he’s been killing for.” I flinched. “That he didn’t protect her from that. It’s enough to kill a man. Especially a man like Connor.”