Perfect Rage (Unyielding 3)

He had been gone ten minutes before I called London and asked her if she could meet for coffee. She sounded surprised, because I never called her. But she readily offered to pick me up.

I’d texted Connor to let him know, just in case he came back before I did.

I wrapped my hands around the oversized yellow mug. “Yeah. The headaches are still bad and he doesn’t sleep, at least not for long, but he’s learning to control the anger. Read the signs before he gets out of control.”

London nodded. “That’s good news. The drug was potent and from what I gathered from my father’s research, it affected dopamine being released in the brain. A way to stop him from feeling pleasure.” My hands tightened on the mug and my stomach dropped at the mere thought of the years Connor didn’t feel pleasure. It made sense now why he said he never had sex except for with me that once. “I heard the blood work came back normal.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“I wish I could do more to help, but I think it’s just going to take time. It would help if he talked to someone about what he’s been through.”

I shook my head, that wasn’t possible. I uncrossed my legs and crossed them again. “He won’t and I can’t blame him. He’s afraid he’ll lose it if he talks about what happened and then they’ll lock him up and drug him to keep him calm.”

“He’s right,” London agreed.

There was no winning here for Connor. But he was doing better, and in time, maybe he’d get back to a kind of normal.

We went on to talk about the Center and her classes then she told me Kai had been gone for a couple days to meet up with Ernie and Tyler to deal with some associates of Vault. “Kai is making certain anyone involved with Vault knows about its new direction and that he is in control.” She paused. “But a few aren’t so pleased.” And probably why Kai had gone to deal with them. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” I met her eyes and she half smiled. “This wasn’t just a coffee date, you’ve been fidgeting ever since you sat down.”

I hadn’t realized. The flutter in my belly increased as I thought about why I was here. “I need to see a doctor.” I swallowed, my hand instinctively going to my belly. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my God. That’s great news,” London said.

I wasn’t so sure about that. “We’ve always used protection though.”

She huffed. “Yeah, I thought I had the ultimate protection.”

“You’re pregnant?” I blurted a little too loud and the two men at a nearby table glanced over.

“Three months. And I’m telling Kai when he gets back tonight.”

“He doesn’t know yet?” I found that hard to believe, that man was hyperaware of everything to do with London.

She shook her head. “No. But it wouldn’t even cross his mind as he’d had a vasectomy at an early age. It didn’t cross mine either. I had the doctor do three blood tests before I believed him. When I told him why, he said there is a chance that the procedure wasn’t done properly or there is a chance the snipped parts grew back together. Anyway, I’ve been hinting for a while.”

“Oh, my God, the pets?”

She laughed. “Yeah. My period was late a week, so I did a urine test and it was positive. I was skeptical until I had blood tests done though.”

“Are you nervous?”

“About being pregnant or telling Kai?”

“Telling Kai. That he may think you cheated on him.”

She burst out laughing. “Kai’s far too arrogant to think that. We’re solid and he knows I’d never do that. Don’t get me wrong, he’ll be shocked and maybe even lose his cool, but he’ll get over it.”

“But what if he doesn’t want a baby?” Connor said he didn’t want kids.

She shrugged with a mischievous smile playing at her mouth. “He thinks he doesn’t want anything except us, but a baby is part of us.” She pushed her coffee mug aside. “You’re worried about how Connor will react if you are?”

I inhaled a shaky breath. “Yes. He told me he doesn’t want kids. He doesn’t even want to be around them.”

“Because he doesn’t trust himself.”

I nodded as I shifted uneasily in my seat. “I think he’ll leave, London. Any progress he’s made… he won’t even sleep in the same room as me because he’s afraid he might wake and hurt me. There’s no way he’ll stay with me if there’s a baby.” I tucked my hair behind my ears as I lowered my eyes to stare at the remnants of coffee in the bottom of my mug. “He’s getting better and I even heard him talking to Deck the other day on the phone about seeing Georgie. But to put this on him now… I can’t lose him again, London.” Tears filled my eyes as I looked up at London.