I reached up and touched his cheek with the pads of my fingers. “No. It sounds exactly like the man you’ve always been. Risking everything. Taking a chance with your life for what you believe in.”
“I think it was more selfish than that. More like for what I wanted. You.” He sighed, a slight furrow of his brows. “I have a long way to go, baby. The demons aren’t defeated, but my head isn’t pounding anymore.”
My heart burst with so much love for this man. He got help. He risked losing. He fought the demons.
“Will you be able to sleep with me?”
His hands ran down my arms and he linked his fingers with mine. “Yeah. I can sleep with you. But right now, I’m going to fuck you, if that’s okay.”
Tantalizing warmth cascaded over me. “Yeah, that’s okay.”I lay in bed with Alina dozing in my arms after hours of tasting, touching and sinking inside her again and again.
Hearing her breath hitch before she came, her body tightening around me… fuck, it was like finally coming home.
My hand rested on her stomach, the bulge of our baby growing inside her. There was an overwhelming feeling of joy, excitement, and relief all at the same time.
A little girl. Shit, the thought terrified me and at the same time, the most incredible joy filled me. The protectiveness was there for my baby and Alina, but it was different than before. Not obsessive. This was a healthy protectiveness… like in our beginning.
My arms tightened around her.
Jesus, I never thought I’d get here. When I walked into the facility and admitted myself, I was pretty certain I’d never walk out.
But when I got on my bike after talking to Georgie, there’d been no question what I needed to do, because she was right. I had to fight harder. I had to risk losing everything if I wanted a chance at limitless.
When the doctor pushed me to talk about the memories. The nightmares. The pain. I’d never felt such rage and just like I thought would happen, I lost it and they were forced to sedate me.
I’d been terrified I’d forget Alina. That I’d forget everything. That I’d wake up not knowing who I was. Become the machine I was before.
But each day I woke, I remembered and it got easier.
Alina stretched and rolled onto her back then her eyes flickered open. She smiled, reaching to caress my lower lip. “You’re still here.”
A sharp pain hit my chest because I put that worry there. “I’m not leaving, Alina. I swear. I won’t ever leave you again.” I inhaled a long drawn in breath, my heart thumping and nerves tingling.
I’d been hanging onto this question for eleven years. Sure, I didn’t know it at the time, but I did now and I wasn’t letting another day go by without asking her. “Question twenty. I never asked you question twenty.”
Her brows arched. “Umm, okay. But it better be good, you’ve had eleven years to think about it.”
Lightness filtered into me and I laughed.
Alina’s breath hitched and her eyes widened. “I’m changing my answer,” she blurted.
“Babe, I haven’t asked you the question yet.”
She shook her head. “No, to question nineteen.”
“Fuck, babe. That’s the one question we answered the same.”
“It’s been eleven years. My answer can change.”
“Fine. But then you have to answer my question twenty. So, what’s your revised answer to question nineteen?”
“I’m not revising, I’m adding to it.”
I chuckled. “Okay.”
“Your laughter. Hearing you laugh is the best sound in the world and I never want to be without it again. But more importantly, I never want you to be without it again.”
I froze, my eyes locking with hers. “Ah, fuck.” I hovered over her, lowered and kissed her. It was raw and hard and it took everything not to slip my cock inside her again. But I had something more important to do right now.
When I pulled back, her cheeks were flushed and lips swollen from my kiss.
“Okay, go,” she said eagerly. “I’m dying to hear what you’ve come up with for question twenty. And remember, you have to answer it, too.”
I smirked. “Of course, shutterbug.” I held her chin because I wanted to make sure I saw her eyes when I asked her. “Will you marry me, Alina Diaz?”
She gasped, her lips parting and her body tensing beneath me. “That’s your question twenty?”
“Damn right it is.”
She hesitated, scrunching her nose as if thinking about it. But I saw the answer in her eyes, the spark of happiness blazing.
I moved fast, grabbed her around the waist and flipped her so she straddled me. I grasped her wrist and placed her palm on my left side below my ribs. “Look at the tattoo.”
She frowned, her eyes shifting to the tattoo. I waited for her to see the numbers 11528 hidden within the complex web of lines.