No.
No.
I screamed as I yanked and pulled as the memories invaded like a black suffocating fog.
“No. No.”
With everything I had, I yanked on the wire.
The knot he’d tied in the wire released and my arms shot forward from the momentum as I sprung free.
I lay still for a second, breathing ragged, my wrists still tied together but free from the headboard.
Free.
A cool wave of relief poured over me as the panic washed away. I was heaving in breaths of air from my struggle, but the terror was gone. It was as if the sudden release had re-written the memory. I’d escaped. I’d escaped when for years I couldn’t.
“Yes.” Kai’s voice was a deep resonating sound that was like a blanket of warmth.
“You put a knot that would eventually release if I fought hard enough? You wanted me to break free?”
“Yes.”
“You wanted me to feel the fear and escape it myself.” It wasn’t a question because that was exactly what he wanted.
“You won’t always be able to break free, London. That’s reality. But if you can’t, know that I’ll always come for you. Don’t ever forget that. You need to know that.”
My breath left me as I stared at him, taking in what he said. “I do know.” I had no doubt Kai would walk through an inferno in order to get to me. God, he had. “But you’re not God, Kai. Even if you think you are.”
He raised his brows. “True. But I’m the closest you’ll ever get to the big man.” I smiled and he said, “Come here.”
My legs still trembling, I crawled off the bed and walked over to him. He reached out and undid the wire still around my wrists. Red lines embedded in my skin and he brought my wrist to his mouth, kissing the inflamed skin then repeated with the other one.
My eyes flicked to his cock that was still hard and I wanted to sink to my knees and take him in my mouth. I never thought I’d willingly want to do that again, but the need to taste him on the tip of my tongue, to wrap my lips around the hard velvet surface, to give him pleasure pulsed through me.
I decided right then to break one of his rules and it was without fear. Without uncertainty.
I slipped to my knees on the floor between his legs, my hands on his muscled, naked thighs.
His voice was a low growl as he harshly grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. “I never want you on your knees again.”
I met his fierce scowl, but it was the hint of fear in his eyes that had me softening my initial retort. “You want to give me choices?”
“Yes.”
“Then this is my choice. I want your cock in my mouth. I want to hear you groan with pleasure.”
“Then we’ll move to the bed. I don’t want you on your knees on the floor.”
It was then I realized that maybe this wasn’t just about me. This was about him. He couldn’t handle seeing me on my knees. I wasn’t sure if it was a reminder of Mexico or something else, but whatever it was he was fighting it every second I remained on my knees.
“Maybe it’s time to re-write that memory, too, Kai?” His eyes widened as a flicker of surprise hit his face. “And you won’t always get what you want. At least with me.”
Then he shook his head back and forth as a twitch of a smile formed while he released my arms. “Mmm, perhaps. But I will certainly try.”
Then he picked me up, carried me to the bed and tossed me down. He came after me and settled himself against the headboard.
I crawled between his legs and slid my hands over his knees, up his thighs to his hips.
I watched his expression as my hand lowered to his cock, wrapping around the base of it. He stopped breathing. I trailed my tongue over the tip and his eyes shifted from mine to my mouth and his cock in my hand.
I tightened my grip and before I lowered my mouth to him I said, “You’re my everything.”Hope DestroysI LAY IN bed with London curled into me, her cheek resting on my chest, palm on my abdomen covering one of my scars. The most recent, the one in Mexico where I’d been shot, changing the course of London’s life.
A stray bullet that cost her more than it did me.
‘You’re my everything.’
Her words from last night weren’t lost on me, but at the time, they’d been pushed aside as she sucked on my cock until I had to flip her over and thrust inside her.
We had to talk. She had to know what we were facing because I had no plan. I didn’t know the outcome of what would happen to us.