I knew torture. I knew the shit it did to your head. But ten years of it? Even Connor could break under that. Any man would.
This wasn’t bullshit.
Fuck this all to hell. Damn it! I punched the rock wall and blood instantly rose on my knuckles. I did it again and again until Josh pulled me back with an arm around my waist and shoved me.
It didn’t stop me. Nothing would as I picked up the table, laptop crashing to the floor, our map billowing in the air a second before settling on the floor. I threw the table at the wall and the loud cracking of wood splintering felt like me. I was splintering. Parts of me were being ripped off and burned as my anger tore through me.
But it wasn’t just anger. It was fear, an emotion I kept locked down all my life, but seeing that word in blood broke the dam and I couldn’t control it.
I destroyed chairs, ripped up plans, crushed the laptop with my fists. I sensed the men watching and I didn’t give a fuck. This was bad.
All my hope for bringing him home detonated in my face. No wonder it took us so long to locate him.
He fuckin’ didn’t want to be found.
“Boss.”
I heard the voices, but they were drowned out by my madness of destruction. This was my fault. I should’ve found him sooner, but fuck, how could I? I thought for years he was dead. Christ, I’d seen the truck blow up. The memory. The anguish was still vivid in my mind even knowing he lived.
“Boss.”
Now, he was threatening Georgie? Fuckin’ Georgie? His sister? How was that even fathomable? The one person he loved more than anyone.
Because he knew me too well. That was my failure. He knew I wouldn’t give a shit if he threatened me or my men, but Georgie … he knew I’d walk if Georgie’s life was in any way threatened.
“Deck!”
Tyler held his phone out. “You need to take this.”
I really didn’t need to hear what bullshit Georgie had managed to get herself into this time. My patience with her was thinner than a moth’s wing. One more fuck-up and I was tearing free of her. Fuck my word. Fuck Connor.
I took the phone. “What?”
“There’s been an accident.”
It was as if all those words I just thought were blown up with a grenade. My heart pounded and I had trouble swallowing.
Keep your shit together.
I’d been trained by the best to withstand torture, the worst circumstances possible, pain, agony, and yet this tested all that.
I turned away from the guys so they couldn’t read my expression. I needed a fuckin’ second to pull my head from my ass and gain some control.
“She’s in the hospital. Some guy found her unconscious and convulsing at the cemetery.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Deck.” Vic never called me Deck. “It’s bottom.”
Yeah, it was. I slapped my palm against the wall above my head and closed my eyes. “I’ll meet you there. Ten hours.”
“What about Connor?”
“Mission is dead.” I pressed ‘End’ before he could respond. Talking was pissing me off and I had to reel my shit in—fast.
“Boss? She okay?” Tyler questioned.
“No, but she will be.” Because this shit was ending.I HEARD VOICES calling my name.Stop it.
It was like I was in a boiler and the sounds echoed, drilling into my head. I wanted to put my hands over my ears, but I couldn’t move. Why couldn’t I move?
I was cold.
Shivering and yet I didn’t feel my body shaking. No, it was jerking—hard. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t see anything.
“She’s convulsing again.”
Convulsing? Were they talking about me? The last I remembered was being at the shed—in pain. Hurt. Then numbness.
A loud screeching sounded over and over again. I tried to moan, and I think I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Why couldn’t I move? It was like being immersed in quicksand, limbs so heavy.
“You’re going to be okay, miss.”
Miss? Why would he call me miss? I recognized the voice and yet couldn’t put my finger on who it was. Where was Deck? Was he here with me? He was always with me when I fucked up.
Fear swarmed me like a horde of wasps. What did I do? Why couldn’t I move?
“Sir, do you know what happened to her?”
I felt hands on me and wanted to swat them away but couldn’t.
“No. I found her like this.” His voice trailed off and all I heard were a mumbling of sounds blurred together.
I felt a sudden, sharp pain shoot through me and then it was like I was falling through a black hole. My arms strapped to my sides, unable to reach out and stop myself.
It was getting darker and colder.
I screamed and screamed.
But I kept falling, sliding down the dark tunnel until I hit bottom—then nothing.