What I never expected were the words he spoke next.
“Connor’s alive.”A ROAR OF emotions exploded all at once as I tried to comprehend what he’d said. I didn’t believe it and yet … Deck never lied.I couldn’t control my breathing as I started hyperventilating. Deck sat up and brought me with him so I was facing him, straddling his lap. He cupped my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. “Breathe, Georgie. Deep breaths.”
I stared into his calm, steady gaze as he stroked my back and forced me to keep our eyes locked until I was breathing better. “Where is he?” It wasn’t ‘how was it possible’ or ‘why’; all I could think about was having my brother back. When could I see him? Hear his voice. Feel the touch of his hand as he ruffled my hair. I didn’t care how this was possible. Nothing mattered except that he was alive.
“I don’t know,” Deck said.
I scrambled for words, thoughts pounding me in drums of confusion and disbelief. “My parents. I have to call—”
He shook his head. “No, Georgie. They can’t know.” I went to argue, but his hand tightened on my chin and his eyes grew dark. “No.”
“But—”
Deck’s eyes said it all and I felt my stomach plummet. There was nothing good about Connor being alive.
“Oh, God. Deck. No. Please tell me he’s okay.” Tears filled my eyes as I imagined him burned beyond recognition, sitting in a hospital somewhere for the last ten years with no one with him. “You saw him die. You said he was in a vehicle you saw blown up.” I shivered as the questions and urgency to find answers swarmed me. “How did you find out?” Then I realized the timing of Deck telling me and Kai being here. “Kai? Kai knew about Connor? He told you?”
Deck looked a little uneasy as his hands stopped stroking my back. “Yeah, Kai knew. I had a suspicion for a while, but I wasn’t sure until a few weeks ago.”
I froze. “For a while? You’ve known for a while? You’ve known my brother has been alive for a while?” I repeated. I pushed on his chest and tried to climb off his lap, but he was ready for it and flipped me over onto my back so he was on top of me. “Get off me. Get the fuck off me, Deck.”
“No.”
I glared. He glared back.
“Damn it.” Tears filled my eyes. “God damn it, Deck. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You’re questioning me about not telling you shit? You hid shit from me for years. Years, Georgie.”
I clamped my mouth shut. Fuck. He was right, but I was reeling with confusion and so many questions, I wasn’t thinking straight. “I couldn’t,” I said quietly. “Kai said … he’d kill you.”
“And you think a threat like that would matter to me?”
“Damn it, Deck. It matters to me. You’re all I have.”
“That’s not true, Georgie.”
I had my parents and Emily and Kat and the band, but Deck … he was part of me.
Deck was silent. I think he was contemplating what to tell me next, because I knew there was more. Suddenly, his weight left me and he was off the bed and walking to the bathroom. I sat up as I heard the taps turn on.
Connor had been his best friend, his brother. This wasn’t just me hurting, this was us hurting. I crawled to the side of the bed and got up, throwing on my panties and a t-shirt. Then I padded across the room to the bathroom and saw him looking in the mirror, his hands on the edge of the sink, his face dripping wet.
I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into him. “We’ll find him.”
He stiffened. “No, Georgie. He doesn’t want to be found.”
“What?” I pulled away and he took the opportunity to walk back into the bedroom where he sat on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands. I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. Then I waited for him to tell me. It was the longest wait ever and yet it was mere seconds.
Deck started talking and it was after he told me about Connor being taken by the people Kai worked for that I slid to the floor, curling my legs into me. He told me everything, how he and his men had been overseas because an acquaintance of theirs, a Navy Seal, told them they thought they saw Connor while they were on a mission.
Deck and his men had been searching for nearly a year until they found a guy who also said he knew of Connor. That was when the guy was delivered dead with the note taped to his chest written in his own blood.
I was shaking with disbelief. I couldn’t believe it was the same Connor I knew who wrote something like that, who threatened my life. Deck didn’t stop and give me time to breathe or take in what he was telling me. He kept pounding me with truths as he told me about Robbie.